Friday, December 31, 2010

Final Post for 2010 - Reflection of God's Blessings

As I write this final post of 2010, it is roughly a hour until the 1st day of 2011 comes rolling in. Earlier this week, I wrote out a few thoughts on paper and then put them on my blog on some of the tough things I encountered in 2010. But after thinking more about them and a few people challenging me if I really want to go back to reflect on those bad times, I decided I don't want them to define me because they don't. So, I deleted them from my blog. Instead, I want to write this post to reflect on the great things that became part of my life or that happened to me that I count as blessings in 2010.

First off, I have been given great opportunities to serve others in volunteer capacities this year that has been a true blessing. I was asked by one of the founders of New Landings, a non-profit organization that exists to help the middle class unemployed find jobs to help lead their social media team and bring awareness to their members on how to use tools such as LinkedIn and Twitter/Facebook for the job search process. I have thoroughly enjoyed being part of New Landings lead team and planning for what the next year will bring to this organization.

I started the Job Seekers View blog as a resource to help provide job seekers with information on weekly networking events, job search workshops, career fairs, etc. in the Kansas City area. Recently, a Job Leads page was added to highlight jobs in the KC area from recruiters, companies, etc. For 2011, the plan is to have more guest posts, video interviews with local job seekers who will share what they are looking for, and interviews with those who currently have a job sharing the path they took to get to where they are today.

Also, in 2010, I got connected with Ryan Nelson, pastor at 33 Church. My family and I has been looking for a church after we left one where the lead pastor left. The most important attribute for a church for us was one where we feel welcomed and appreciated for who we are. Ryan has a heart for the Olathe community and a deep passion for loving others in community at 33 Church. I encourage you to check out 33 Church if you are looking for a place where you can be yourself and be part of a caring community.

I got connected with someone that I have got to know as a friend named Brian. Brian is celebrating 2 months sober now and it is only by God's grace that he is at that point. It is a true honor to see Brian starting to understand that God has a grand plan for him as He moves in Brian's life. It is also a privilege to walk alongside Brian to see as God works in his life. I hope to do more of this in 2011 (walk alongside people as they encounter God and his plan for them).

In addition, I worked with a few other gracious friends to start a new group in the KC area called Kansas City Social Media Group. Houlihan's in Olathe has offered their space each month for this group to meet for breakfast. A close knit group of loyal attendees comes each month where a business is featured and a panel or attendees offer advice/tips for the business. So many businesses have benefited from coming to this breakfast and getting suggestions to improve their business.

There have been so many friends who I got to know in 2010 and it is each of them who gave me support and encouragement to make it through the tough times. Thank you to each one of you! You know who you are. :)

And finally, but not least, I am so very thankful for my family. My wife and two kids mean the world to me. They have seen the heartache, hurts, and struggles I went through in 2010, but they were right there by my side to help me get back up when I felt like I could not anymore. There is nothing like the smile of your kids when your days are long. I am so blessed to have them in my life.

2010 will have many tough times that God will use for good in His time, but more importantly, wonderful memories I will cherish were made in this year.

Here is to 2011 and living for so much more!

Monday, December 13, 2010

When God Grabs A Hold of You

I was stopped in my tracks a few times this week and both times made me think about where I am in my life and what am I making as my top priority. The first time was when a good friend I know had his life changed instantly when he found out his sister and her kids were involved in a tragic accident in Gardner about a week ago. Just like that, our lives can be upended in a flash. One minute, life is good and we are moving along through our life with not a care in the world and the next minute, it can change suddenly. With the rise of social media, I have been able to keep up on the progress and news of what my good friend has shared via Facebook/Twitter what is going on with his sister and her two kids as they deal with the daily reminders of what has happened to them. Unfortunately, two lives were lost in that horrible accident and one of them was a young 13 year old child whose mom and her two sibilings are having to deal with her loss and their own fight in life as they deal with the consequences of what happened in a flash.

The second story was one that someone I have got to know via Twitter sent me. It was also one of those stories that grips your heart and makes you take a serious look at how you are living your life and what you should be focusing on. In a short summary, a father had a dream that he may die soon and he recorded his last thoughts/wishes for his family to do when he did depart from this world. No one knew about this video until the father did pass away suddenly in a tragic plane crash. That video was something the father's kids and his wife could hold onto as a reminder of who he was. He had a deep love for his kids and wife and showed it everyday. He made them his top priority no matter what came into his life.

So, how did these two stories impact me? They made me stop and think about where I am in my life and how I want to be remembered. All too often, I can easily get swept up into other people's troubles or they attempt to sweep me into their drama or I focus on something that really has no lasting value in participating in it. All the drama of this past year between Social Media Clubs in Kansas City and Johnson County and who is for who and who should represent who is utter rubbish!!! I say this even though I wrote a blog post against the formation of SMCJoCo. Now, several months later, I realize that speaking out against a club started in the area was really not what I should have been focusing on. How I look at it today is I am not responsible for what people do and who they associate with and if others find value in another Social Media Club, then all the power to them.

I do have to admit though that the fallout from my blog post and the awful accusations, name-calling, blog posts about me, etc. was absolutely not needed. Some people will know who I am talking about who took it upon themselves to put in a public forum their thoughts about me. I am as much at fault for that from things I have written about others in the past, but that is something I am moving away from. Like I said earlier, I want my life to be known for how I have helped others in a positive way or how I was the father every kid wants or the husband every wife would love to have.

I am writing this post from Lawrence where I met with a few people earlier for lunch. People who truly care about me as a person and a friend. They don't hide behind false fronts or behind tweets. I have met my fair share of "posers" this year from dealings with them either from their thoughts on what I have shared on Twitter or my blog posts or when I was not a part of their "club" anymore. Those who don't talk to you once you move away from participating in their exclusive "club" are not worth your time. Focus on those who truly want to know you outside of your online identity. Too often, we can get ourselves wrapped up into an online identity and feel like we can treat others like dirt and that is fine. It can be because we are seen as "leaders in social media" or that others bow down to whatever we say online. Too often and it is getting worse, our online identities can be placed on a pedestal based on who we are online or who we associate with. And even though this next statement may get me in some hot water, I am afraid I am starting to see some in Social Media Clubs take on an aura of "look at me, I am important!" and that is NOT what it should be about. I am not saying everyone who is part of a SMC is like this, but too often I have experienced it and it has really turned me off from wanting to continue or be a part of such a club. The only exception for a SMC that has not turned me off has been SMCLK (Social Media Club Lawrence). Every time I travel to Lawrence to meet with someone from that organization or someone who is not part of it, I am welcomed warmly. What is the difference between this group of people and others? I think it is that many here in Lawrence, outside of a select few who have not learned this lesson, want to get to know you as a person outside of your online identity. They may know about things you have done or said as part of your online identity that you knew were wrong and admitted it as so, but they don't hold that stuff against you. They know we are all human and make mistakes. They really do care about you as a person and want to be associated with you. Why can't this be true in other places? Why can't some give up their grudges and junk from things that happened in the past and treat you like you matter? Come on people, life is way too short to hold a grudge against someone. I speak from experience as I was on no speaking terms with my sister for a year since I said something about what she posted on Facebook as being a little too vulgar and she took it wrong. A whole year of my sister not wanting to speak with or acknowledge me. It hurt and it sucked!

As the two stories I mentioned in the beginning of this post showed, our lives can suddenly change in a flash and all of that crap and grudges we hold against another can haunt us forever. Don't let that happen to you! What is my whole point of this post? It is to say that I am going to focus on what is most important in my life more in the new year. My family has suffered enough at times from when I have spent a lot of time online engaging in Twitter, etc. More often than not, I have spent way too much time trying to win "approval" from people I may have angered or upset with something I may have shared online and that time is going away. It is not worth it. My focus will only be on those who really want to get to know me as a person minus what I share on Twitter, Facebook, etc. If you are someone who wants to throw barbs at me behind your Twitter handle, don't even bother to waste your time. I will only associate myself, if I can help it, with those who are positive or who I have met and know they do care about me.

I can see my Twitter list of who I follow to go down quite a bit with this move, but my thoughts on Twitter are quite different from how many may use it. I don't always follow back those who follow me. If I have a good conversation with someone on Twitter and/or someone follows me and I know them from a conversation offline, I usually follow them back. I use Twitter to communicate and learn from those who I want to be associated with.

This post is one of those times where you get something on your mind and you just want to write your thoughts out, so some of this stuff may not make much sense to some, but it was something I wanted to share. Plus, I wanted to give kudos to many who I have got to know via Twitter, Facebook, etc. who I really enjoy learning from and hearing about their lives as they share them. As for the ego-centric and those who want to only focus on negative and/or only talk to you when you are part of their "club," they can go take a hike. :)

I challenge you to think about how your year has went and to think about if maybe you need to change where your focus is and who you associate with. Make sure to only spend time with those who care about you and want to know you outside of your online identity. We are more than our Twitter handle, Facebook status updates, or blog posts. Make your life one that leaves behind a lasting legacy that can be shared with others and make a positive impact on them and so on.