We Were Meant To Live

New Serving Group to Help Joplin

2011-07-23T22:32:00.000-07:00

It is time to let everyone know about a new group I am a part of tied to 33Church. I guess you could call us the Joplin Relief Group and we are starting this group to help serve the people of Joplin who are still recovering from the tornado that hit their city. I was asked awhile ago by 33Church pastor Ryan Nelson to help lead this group and we are looking forward to how God will lead us as we begin serving the needs of the people in Joplin.

Our group is faith-based as those of us who decided to start this group want to be that "shining light of Christ" to those we will serve in Joplin. However, don't let this stop you from serving with our group if you wish to help also. We are open to anyone who wants to help, Christian or not. What really matters is a group of dedicated volunteers who want to make a difference to the people of Joplin.

With that said, it is our intentions to start meeting as a group every week on Wednesday nights to talk about past trips and go through a book called "Lead Like Jesus." You don't need to attend this Wednesday night group to come on the trips we will make to Joplin, but you are encouraged to attend if you want to be part of a tight-knit community that we hope to build as a result of this group.

Our first Wednesday night meeting will be on July 27. At this meeting, we will be discussing details of our first trip to Joplin and what you need to know as far as what to wear, what we will be doing there, etc. We would love for anyone who is interested in serving in Joplin to attend. The place of the meeting is still to be determined but if you are interested, send an email to markvanbaale@gmail.com.

Our first trip to Joplin to help serve will be on Saturday, July 30. We plan to carpool to head down there and spend most of the day helping where needed. Details about when we will depart, etc. will be discussed at the July 27 meeting. If you are interested in going on this trip, send an email to markvanbaale@gmail.com.

It is our intention to go down monthly for a day to help in Joplin. If you would like to come with us on our monthly trips, you will need to attend a Wednesday night meeting the week of our trip. It is our thinking that the monthly trips will be on the last Saturday of each month or close to it.

If you would like to help in other ways in providing some of the items we will be bringing with us on each trip, here is what is needed:

Cleaning supplies
Cleaning cloths
Paper towels
Pet supplies
Non-perishable food
Household items
Flashlights
Batteries
Work gloves
Medical supplies
New underwear

Donated items may be left at the following places:

Etter Chiropractic

11240 Strang Line Road

Lenexa, KS

Google Map

33Church's Office

465 S. Parker St.

Olathe, KS

Google Map

We hope you consider joining with us as we start this new group to make a difference in people's lives.

There are still to be greater things to be done in Joplin because He is God of This City:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgQccYki-9Y

DeCaLiBron Mountain Hiking Trip Preparation Delayed, but Now is a Go!

2011-07-21T20:03:00.000-07:00

So, I wrote a post about 15 days ago thinking it was to be the start of my preparation for the Colorado mountain hiking trip I will be going on in a few months. I said I would be documenting my progress as I exercise more and get myself in better shape than I am now. Well, that did not happen as planned. :) However, I did start today to get ready. I have 44 days until the trip to Colorado to get myself prepared and one thing I did to get myself more motivated to stay focused on the end goal was get a membership to a gym near my workplace. I started exercising today by getting on the Stairmaster for 15 minutes and walking around the indoor track for a mile. I need to start off slow so I don't burn myself out too quickly and can manage to ramp myself slowly. So far, so good! It is always that first step that is the hardest to take to start on something that is a major change in your life. Here is to more days ahead getting ready. Writing out how I am doing on this blog will also keep me motivated to keep training.

More to come...

When The World Says No Way - Your Barriers Are Really Opportunities

2011-07-10T21:53:00.000-07:00

Today was the first Sunday for our church, 33Church, to be meeting in its new location at Oregon Trail Middle School in Olathe. It is an exciting time for our church as we reach out to people who want to be part of an authentic community where each person cares deeply for one another. With a new location, we have started a new series called When The World Says No Way.

Consider these facts...Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper job because he lacked imagination. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Oprah Winfrey was nearly fired from a reporting job. There are plenty of people around you that are willing to say there's no way you can succeed. But, when the world says no way, there's an incredible opportunity.

Today's study looked at Joshua 6 and how to overcome our barriers. I will be sharing some bits and pieces from today's message that Ryan Nelson shared and also share how this message impacted me as I have dealt with my own challenges in overcoming barriers erected by others or by myself.

As Ryan mentioned early in his message, barriers are not obstacles that will prevent you from achieving your dreams. Barriers are opportunities to allow God to do something amazing for Him. God has a plan for you so that He can get glory IF you are willing to do what He has in store for you.

Joshua 6:2 says: "Then the LORD said to Joshua, "See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men." God is telling Joshua that the battle is done even though Jericho, at this point, had not fallen yet.

One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11 where God says: "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This verse has had a significant impact on me many times in my life, especially when I have faced obstacles or struggles wondering what is my purpose in life. There are times when I have allowed others to impact me in a negative manner based on things they have accused me of or talked bad about me. I admit that I am a very sensitive person and that is my nature. Those who know where to hit me to cause heartache know this is the case and too often I have allowed people to virtually punch me in the gut to inflict emotional damage. However, with time, this has got better because of God's promises to me that NO ONE can ruin the plans the LORD has for my life if I only trust in Him. All you have to do is read some of my older posts on this blog to see what are the type of things I have battled against with many people in the KC area who have done these things to try and ruin my life. Some of them still try to do the same things today. Unfortunately, in many of the cases, I let their false assumptions about who I am to dominate my thinking which in turn has affected how I view myself. Then, there have been others time when I have beat myself up because I thought the worse things that others surely must be thinking about me and most of these assumptions are not even true or based in reality. We can so easily cause immeasurable grief in our lives if we focus on what society tells us in how we are to behave or what we should do with our lives. All we have to do is look at most advertising that exists in this world to see their main message is that WE NEED what they sell. If we don't get what they sell to meet what we think WE NEED, then we are made to feel inferior or looking from the outside in.

There is a difference between a life you live for others (to gain their approval) and a life you live in faith. You must listen to what God's calling you to do and NOT what your eyes or the world is telling you. For Joshua, the plan God laid before him didn't make much sense with his eyes or mind. The same thing could be said about Noah. The LORD told him to build a massive ark to prepare for a mighty flood that would come in the future. Most of those around Noah probably thought he was nuts to be building a huge ark when there was no water to be found anywhere nearby. If you look back at Scripture, God used people in mighty ways if they only trusted him. Most of these people where not the religious-minded people who looked down on everyday folk who did not follow the laws of what they thought should be done. Those people thought they had it all figured out in life. Do what pleases others and life is good. Or so they thought.

Everyone needs to realize that whatever you have in your life that may disqualify you from being something incredible for God is the very thing God may use for you to honor him. God loves to bring incredible success stories out of horrible experiences we have faced in the past.

What you have done and what has been done to you in the past are not barriers but opportunities for what God can do for you in the future. He used people with ugly pasts throughout Scripture. He can use you and He can use me in the next week. Much like what is shared in Joshua 6:20-21: "When the trumpets sounded (after the people walked around Jericho seven times as the Lord commanded), the people shouted, and at the sound of the trumpet, when the people gave a loud shout, the wall (around Jericho) collapsed so every man charged straight in, and they took the city. They devoted the city to the LORD."

The truth is that those who may look down on you in life and think they are almighty because they are part of a "club" or group that is looked upon as being influential are not any better than the people sitting in the local jail or the federal prison. In fact, none of us are better than anyone else! We all need God's grace. This is one big reason why Jesus was sent. That way, every one of us could trust in something other than ourselves or this world.

There are plenty of people that are willing to discourage you and there are circumstances you will face in life that will threaten to knock you down and raise doubts in your mind. BUT, these barriers do not have to keep you from living out the life God has planned for you. These are opportunities for you to show the world that God's plans are greater than the plans of all of the doubters!!

Sharing a few more personal things in my life...recently this weekend, I took some time away from being engaged on social networks that have played a very large part in my life in the past 3 years. I joined Twitter way back in August 2008 after I heard about how this network allowed one to engage and meet new people no matter where they live. At that time, I was trying to meet new people in the Kansas City area after being in the area for a little over a year at that point. I had heard about a Social Media Club that was just getting started and I figured I better get on Twitter so I can start meeting some of those people who were part of this club and were organizing Tweetups (informal face-to-face meetings with people you interact with on Twitter). You see, I have not always had very close friends in my life and this is something that I wanted to try and change by meeting new people in the area. It went well for several months after I joined this club and attended the monthly breakfast meetings, etc. I was even voted onto the first board to be the Education Chair and I felt like I had finally reached that point where I felt significant and that I was influencing people in a good way. But all hell broke loose about a year ago when I decided to voice my opinions on my own blog about a new Social Media Club that was starting up in the area. I knew or thought I knew the real reasons why this new club was being started and I was trying to explain my point of view of why this was a bad idea. But, it seems I overstepped my boundaries of how I should "act" since I was part of a board that was looked upon as being influential to its members. I spoke out thinking I was doing some good in trying to show why this other new club was a bad idea. See, there was a plan that was to be shared with everyone soon about how the board would address this new club and I jumped out ahead of the others sharing my own point of view. To be honest, I thought our board needed to step up and address this situation quickly and not rest on our laurels. Our members were wanting answers on what this new club was all about and why our board was not responding. So, I did not follow the plan set out by others.

In the end, there was enough pressure by others on the board since they were highly pressured by the national leaders (who never really took time to get the real story) that it would be best if I resigned from my chair position. It was my decision to step down when everyone on the board, except one blessed soul, voted for me to remove myself. I did so and to be honest I have struggled with how this whole thing went down for a long time. It has made me bitter towards many who were on that board who shared their thoughts about me and how the plan they had moving forward should not include me. It has been hard to move on from that chapter in my life, but with God's grace and others who have looked past my mistakes and failures to accept me for who I am (warts and all), I am moving on from that painful experience with time. It still bugs me at times and I have shared my thoughts/opinions about this club to this day, but I also realize that when I thought I was part of the plan for this club, it was not in God's plan for my life. To be honest, if I would have stayed on with this club or this incident would never have happened, it makes me wonder if I would have an "esteemed attitude" about how great it is that I am on the board and I am influencing all of these people because of my position. We can too easily get wrapped up in ourselves and think highly of where we are in life. This is a danger sign though if we continue to think this way and in response, treat others as they are lower than us on the totem pole.

A year later removed from the position I once had, I now realize after some new opportunities are coming into my life, that God has a different plan in mind for my life. In retrospect, the pain and bitterness I felt after what happened to me have been turned into opportunities where the LORD knows my true heart lies in serving others. You see, I thought I was "serving others" when I wrote my point of view about this other new club, but I was not. In the weeks ahead, you will start to hear more about the new opportunity God has in store for me. I am helping to lead a small group to do much greater things that will make a major impact on the lives we will serve and I am grateful that God has this new plan for me. What I need to do is put my faith in Him and know that whatever he places on my heart for my calling is where he wants me to make an impact. And the best thing about this plan the LORD has for my life is that the impact will be for eternity!

In closing, I challenge you to be one who is not confined by barriers, but instead take on the plan the LORD shows to you as opportunities to show this world that when they say it can't be done or that you can't lead it, we can show that God will not be stopped by anything!!

DeCaLiBron mountain challenge

2011-07-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

In 2 short months, I will be attempting to hike to the summit of four 14er (14,000+ feet) mountains in Colorado. To help motivate me as I get ready for this challenge, I plan to document how I am doing on this blog. The route we plan to take to hike to the summit of these 4 mountains (Mt. Democrat, Mt. Cameron, Mt. Lincoln, and Mt. Bross) is highlighted on this page: http://www.14ers.com/routemain.php?route=bros6&peak=Mt.+Democrat. The route is 7 miles roundtrip and gains 3,600 feet in elevation. Follow along as I start the 8 week program to get in shape for this challenge.

Approval Addiction is For Real

2011-04-26T21:41:00.001-07:00

The Search for Significance, Approval Addiction, Getting Unstuck, and Prisoners of Our Thoughts. What do all of these titles mean? They are books I have on hand at home that I have read over and over, especially in those vulnerable times when I felt like I needed to read something that spoke to the condition I was in. I encountered a few instances today where people I know expressed their dismay and frustration with always feeling like they have to please people. I know exactly what those feelings are like as I have dealt with them for many years now. Being addicted to approval from others is REAL and it can wreak havoc on your emotions and thoughts if you are the type of person that is vulnerable to it.

As it shares in "The Search for Significance" book: "We spend much of our time building relationships, striving to please people and win their respect. And yet, after all of our efforts, it takes only one unappreciative word from someone to ruin our sense of self-worth." Have you ever had that happen to you? It can be done so easily via social media within 140 characters or even through email that reads differently to you than how others may perceive it. One of the benefits of social media is to connect and build relationships with others. But all it takes is one harsh word, rumor, or gossip to come your way and that relationship can be destroyed in an instant. We have the power to do good via social media tools, but the greater danger is the crushing blow of criticism or rejection that can be done through these same tools.

Another quote from "The Search for Significance" book says: 'The world we live in is filled with people who demand that we please them in exchange for their approval and acceptance. Such demands can lead us to a false belief that I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself. We are snared by this lie so often and believing it causes us to bow to peer pressure in an effort to gain approval. We may join clubs and organizations, hoping to find a place of acceptance for ourselves. We often identify ourselves with social groups, believing that being with others like ourselves will assure our acceptance and their approval." Those last few sentences about some joining clubs or social groups to gain the approval of others is one where I see being done often within social media. There is some thinking that if you are not part of an "in group" then you are not worth talking to. I will tell you this right now. I despise "in groups" with a passion. One big reason is from my experience of being the target of many jocks in high school who felt like it was their right to tease and make life a living hell for their victims. To this day, I don't think I can think about some of those people without some hatred in my heart. But, I am doing what I can to forgive people like that from my past since it is only hurting me. It is a process to forgive others who treat you like you are scum of the earth.

Let me ask you this..."Have you ever experienced rejection at the hands of others?" Nothing hurts like being rejected. Especially from those we may be trying to gain approval. Our dependence on others for value brings bondage, while abiding in the truths of Christ's love and acceptance brings freedom and joy. Galatians 1:10 is where Paul shares the following: "For am I now seeking the favor of men or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ."

Joyce Meyer is one person who grew up in an abusive household and had major problems dealing with rejection and feeling like she needed to win the approval from others in order to feel good about herself. But, through God's grace in her life, today she is an author of more than 60 inspirational books and she has radio and television programs broadcast around the world! It is amazing how the Lord turned her life around once she decided to invite Him to remake her life. In her book, "Approval Addiction," she says: "If we try to build our lives on what people say and think of us, we are building on sinking sand." How is your foundation? Are they rooted in rejection or fear? Most often, those of us that are approval addicts, need to start with new roots. Roots that are based on knowing we have unconditional acceptance by God. And like Disciple shares in their "1, 2, Conductor" song, God is our only audience that truly matters.

I hope by sharing some of my experiences and of others who know how it is to be an approval addict that you will know you are not alone. I encourage you to use tools like Twitter or Facebook to share your struggles or thoughts with others. If others comment on how you are using these tools to do this, make sure they know there is an unfollow button. You do what you need to do in order to work through what you are dealing with.

Final question to ponder upon: "How much of your life have you wasted trying to gain approval of others?" STOP letting it ruin your life and be who you are no matter what others think.

The Lord bless you.

Are You Playing for the Crowd? DON'T!

2011-04-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

Today, we are consumed by information that comes at us fast and furious with no breaks. For those who have smartphones, constantly checking to see the latest tweet or who has sent you a reply or DM can be a never-ending cycle. One big reason why I do not own a smartphone is because I know very well I would run the real danger of always checking it to see what was the latest chatter from those I follow on Twitter or Facebook. It is bad enough for me to not take a peek during the day when I should be focused on other more important things. There are going to be some who read this post who will say just turn it off, Mark. Let it be known that is easier said than done for some people. What may work for you may not work as well for others. Most of the time, each of us have to find that equal balance through trial and error. And sometimes, it is a constant battle to keep that balance. For those who struggle with OCD or AHDD, using social media tools like Twitter can be very distracting as those who struggle with one of these disorders tends to always be looking for the next hit, whether that is a tweet, Facebook post, etc.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? It is for several reasons. One, since I revived this blog, I decided I wanted to be upfront with you on the challenges I face as I deal with it day by day on how to find that balance using social media and staying off it. Face it, it is the truth that so many of us are so ingrained with our smartphones, laptops, etc. that what we do in conversing with others via tweets, posts, etc., is common nature. It has become a part of our identity. And to be honest, that can be a not so good place to be. When we start "playing to the crowd," and paying attention to what "followers" have to say about who we are or what we should do online, we lose. Sure, construction criticism can be helpful in some cases, but in my viewpoint, if you really do want to help someone online, take it offline and talk to them privately. I have seen enough cases where people are publicly shamed online and those who shovel out this type of garbage think they have the right to do it. Most of the time, those who do this to others have their own problems they are dealing with and instead of working on them, they decide to lash out to others so they can feel empowered. I have a message for those type of people who in the past may have made me feel "small" or decided smearing my name made them feel pretty proud of themselves. The message is ENOUGH! I read a post today by Julien Smith that I won't link to from here since it does have the F word used throughout his post, but besides the profanity, he was dead on! Basically, he decided he has had enough of others trying to tell him how to live his life and for him falling prey to the whims of others and their approval. He spoke out publicly about it and decided enough is enough.

So, you may be thinking to yourself, "Mark, just let this go and drop it." I will let you in on a little secret. I struggle with OCD and it makes it very tough to just drop things that happen to you and move on. I will be honest in saying that one year later, after the stupid crap that happened to me in 2010, I am much further on the road to healing than I used to be. There are still some people who find it "fun" to throw grenades my way to try and get me wound up, but with time, I have learned how to deal with such morons. To be honest, they can't touch me or my soul. Just like a song I love to listen to by Disciple called "1, 2 Conductor" it speaks about those who feel like they have to play for the crowd like a puppet. For those who follow Christ, the only audience we need to worry about is Jesus himself. He accepts us no matter where we are. As it says in Matthew 16:26, "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" Many people play to the crowd around them through clubs they are a part of, celebrities they try to rub shoulders with, or by doing what they can to get on a pedestal to be recognized for worldly rewards. Sure, it may feel great for awhile to be adorned and praised by people around us, especially if you are part of the "in crowd."

Let me be honest right here...I have been part of some groups in the past where I felt included and then thrown to the side when crap hit the fan. I learned the hard way who was along the side of me no matter what happened and who was there when things were good and rosy and dropped me like a castaway when things got bad. Was I hurt and rejected when such things happened or when some just completely stopped talking to me? You bet I was! And honestly, I let that rejection affect me for quite a long time. I felt like I did not contribute any value because of some who felt I was not worth it. I have a message for those: You may throw your stones at me all you want, but they do not and will not affect me anymore. I am a child of Christ and it is through Him who I get my strength. As Disciple shares so lovingly in the 1, 2 Conductor song, "I don't give a rat's end what they say as long as my God is happy!"

Twitter has been a real struggle for me. To be quite honest, I see more cons to the experiences I have had through it than pros. Some of the pros of it are connecting to people who really do care and ask how you are doing. People like Amy Kiel, Ryan Conrad, Ben Smith, Jeremy Brooks, Paul Berry, Lance Strickland, @queentuffy, Tony Faustino, Jenn Bailey, Ryan Nelson, Nate Heavilin, Sara Nelson and many others. I still talk with and connect with a few from the Social Media Club of Kansas City, but I also have moved on from that chapter in my life with time. Truthfully, I have found more community and more openness via 33 Church than any other clubs or groups I have been a part of in the past. I would rather serve along those who truly value you as a person and take time to reach out and ask you how you are then being part of a "cool" group where everyone strives to be one of the top known experts or leaders. I have always been one to go against the flow or the status quo and that suits me just fine. In God's kingdom, there is no one person who stands above the rest. Each person is a valued member who makes a significant contribution via God working through them.

The main point I want to get across is that you need to do everything you can to not be sucked into the flow of what the world wants you to do or how you should perform. That can be done so easily via social media as anyone can say what is on their mind with no boundaries and to anyone they wish to direct it to. Cyberbullying is real and it is only increasing in intensity as kids growing up with technology in today's world are the target of many who don't have the guts to confront someone but hides behind a computer to send out nasty notes. It is not only a problem for kids, but also for some adults who become unlucky targets and if you are one who struggles with OCD or AHDD, just forgetting what others say about or towards you can be devastating.

How can you break away from the cries of the world towards you who want you to join them in the churning rapids of tweets, posts, check-ins, etc.? Take breaks and do them often. This is one area I am slowly improving on as I take more frequent breaks in checking Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, etc. It is a ongoing process. If being on a social media channel like Twitter has become a major part of what you do on a daily basis, it will take time to break away from it and focus on those who truly matter in your life or those things that make the most impact. I love the outdoors and whenever I can, I try to head for a nearby park to get out and hike a trail. Be alone with my own thoughts. I think one of the big reasons why I favor going on vacation to off beaten places where one can stay in a cabin and hike trails is because I savor the peace and quiet with such times. Away from cellphone signals, away from computers, and away from the busyness of the world trying to pull me back in to the noise.

I want to start focusing on more things where I know I can make an eternal impact. The fact is that all of the awards, praise, recognition, popularity, etc. will only get you so far. Every one of those things will be gone in an instant someday when we pass on. BUT, if you impacted someone for eternity, that will be a far greater reward that you will be blessed with. There is enough people out there who share the latest articles or news updates about social media this, social media that, and social media where.

That is what I want to start moving away from and moving towards sharing stories that make an eternal impact. Heck, if you need prayers for something, DM me or shoot me an e-mail. I feel I can be a much more useful tool in God's hands if I share the Good News about him and what he has done in my life and others.

In the next few days, I will write about a very personal situation that came into my life 5 years ago where I saw a true miracle when the surrounding crowd who did not believe tried to convince my family that it was time to listen to them. But, we did not. It was by God's grace an amazing miracle was to come.

I leave you with this video. Make a difference in your world.

Just Keep Going, You Got Nothing to Lose: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0oHlX8Kmxk

How Do We Keep Up In Today's World??

2011-04-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

This is a blog post I have been meaning to write for awhile now. You see...I often tweet my thoughts or opinions on various topics quite often and I have a love/hate relationship with Twitter as a result. You can only fit in so many words in a 140 character tweet and you can send out multiple tweets to get your point across, but in reality, writing out your thoughts and feelings is so much easier within a blog. I noticed that my last post on this blog was at the end of February when I was processing what was going on in my life at that time and how I wanted to manage how I used Twitter.

It has dawned on me after I read this excellent post by Monica Wright that what she shares and the questions she asks at the beginning of the post really resonated with me. I posted them below again for you to think upon...

What do my social actions say about my productivity?

How are my actions perceived?

Am I wasting my time posting and engaging in useless conversations?

Are my connections and conversations producing value, not just to me, but to my work as well?

Monica goes into more depth about how these questions made her realize how participating in social media channels like Twitter, Facebook, etc. can often feed her urge to feel important or to be seen by others. It brings on a conflict of overexposure vs. obscurity.

Monica linked to another article written by Dana Lookadoo called "Getting Control of your Social Media Life." In that article, Dana goes into detail about how so many people struggle with figuring out how to find the time to do social media and there are some who just can't stay away from it. We are bombarded on all fronts by information that just keeps coming and never lets up. Whether it is via TV, online, radio, advertisements, word of mouth, etc., we are fed information at an incredible rate.

Much like Dana shares, there are many who admit that social media feeds a real need they have in their life and one of the biggest needs we each have is to feel accepted or looked upon as someone who provides value to another. Some people admit social media help feeds their ego. Others share that receiving a DM or tweet from others can feel like a drug. It excites them. A shot of dopamine is given with a jolt! And they keep craving more of the same. Some of us feel like we need to get as many followers or friends as possible so we feel important, even if it is only online. The quest for the latest news or "what's happening with those I follow?" can suck us into hours and hours of constant updates that never end until we make the choice to turn it off.

Don't get me wrong. I know the value of Twitter also and have met many people in the KC area and beyond through this wonderful channel and some of them I count as good friends now. For that, I am grateful. However, it has dawned on me more than once to think about why I use Twitter or engage with others via this channel. I really do think it is, for me, the need to feel connected with others in a virtual sense. Nothing can replace real, face to face conversations with people, but when that is not always possible, Twitter does give that connection with those you wish to follow and keep up to date on what is going on in their world.

Each of us is like an air traffic controller in our own personal mission-control tower as incoming info comes at us constantly. With all of the methods that we can be interrupted with, it can feel strange if more than a few minutes passes without an interruption. Immediately we think..What did I miss? Am I out of the loop? Very often, we compulsively check our messages, tweets, emails, etc. even when there is no need to. We have been accustomed to an age of constant distraction. For those who have always struggled with feeling accepted, it is even a tougher habit to break to feel like we always need to check to see if someone sent us a message, tweet, or email. To be honest, I tend to fall into that camp of feeling I need to check all the time to see what is going on.

Like I shared earlier in this post, we do not want to feel obscure or invisible to others. Without realizing it, we are losing our capacity to savor the moments when we have no interruptions. Never before has it been so easy to stay in touch with so many people electronically, but rarely has it seemed so difficult to maintain genuine human closeness. That is why I love to get out in the woods to hike or experience nature and be far away from distractions the world throws my way once I get back into the flow. Each of us needs time to disconnect and think about how the constant flow of information or the peer pressure we feel to be visible to others can make a major impact on us in a not so good way. Without meaning to, we are training ourselves to constantly be on the alert for interruptions. Unless we are careful, we now live piecemeal lives in a piecemeal world. Continuous partial attention is the result.

In the days ahead, I will be sharing more of my thoughts on this topic and how I am trying to scale back more to focus on those things that matter in the long run vs. always checking to see what is the latest tweet or reply sent via email, Twitter, etc. Some of you may be able to identify with what I shared in this post and feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. I will be sharing the ups and downs as I experience them in my goal of becoming more disconnected from always feeling the need to be "always on" via Twitter, Facebook, etc. and how I am focusing more on the close relationships in my life. More than ever, we need to grab hold of the distractions that can so easily creep into our lives and make sure we are focused on the right things or people that matter in the long run. Looking forward to sharing this journey with you.

Until next time...

How Twitter Has Been An Impact On Me In Last 2.5 Years

2011-02-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

As I write this post, I am nearing 50,000 tweets sent out from my @markvanbaale account over the course of 2.5 years. I joined Twitter way back in August 27, 2008 and since then, Twitter has been a major part of my life in how I interact and connect with people online. I joined Twitter right around the time I went to my first tweetup (off-line meeting with those you interact with online) when I had been living in the Kansas City area for little over a year and I wanted to attempt to reach out and get to know more people in the area. At that time also, I had reached out to Ed Roberts and Zena Weist (founders) to find out more about a Social Media Club of Kansas City group they were starting. Ed and Zena told me that this group was just getting ready to start up and I joined the group right in its infancy stage when there was maybe 10-15 people going to the first breakfast meetings.

It was exciting times back then to connect and meet all of these new people via Twitter and the Social Media Club. Social media was really starting to present itself then as a viable channel to show your true self to others via the updates you chose to post online and get to know others virtually. Before the rise of social media and tools like Twitter, the best we had for connecting with people we had never met before was maybe by going to an event and talking to others. Or by a friend introducing us to others. Social media has opened up a vast world of possible connections to so many people all over the world. We are no longer limited by geographic distance or by knowing someone already. Twitter makes it incredibly easy to reach out and send a reply to someone you don't even know to connect with them. Over time, if you connect with many people and start to build relationships, this can spill over to becoming friends off-line also. I have connected to so many wonderful people that I first met via Twitter and it resulted in good friendships in real life.

In the first year I was engaged on Twitter from August 2008 to September 2009, I was involved in Social Media Club of KC and frequently attended the monthly breakfast meeting and got to know many wonderful people. There are still people who are part of this club that I associate with today. Those who decided to respect me and my differing opinions on things are the ones who I still stay in contact with. 2009 was an interesting year as I was really starting to dip my toes into what social media was all about and how effective it could be establishing relationships and sharing information with people.

When I moved on from my job in September 2009, it was not lost on me that the network I had established in the last year via Twitter would be helpful to me as I started to search for my next job. Tips for those just starting out on Twitter would be to slowly build relationships with those you engage with online and take time to ask others about their life, what they do, their passions, etc. People want to just feel valued and appreciated for who they are and when you take time to get to know others online and then have this spill over to in-person meetings, if possible, then you have extended yourself as a valuable contributer to someone's life.

I connected with my followers and let many know I was searching for my next full-time position and I had awesome support from so many as they helped give encouragement through this time. It was a year ago in March 2010 when I did have a brief stint with a local company that I will not get into, but for those who know the story, it did not work out. Truthfully, it was just not a good fit at all and after a few other issues crept in from exchanges I had with others via Twitter that escalated into nastiness, it was best to move on. To this day, I am glad I made the decision to move on to where I would be a much better fit with a company that respected me.

It has not been lost on me that 2010 was a very tough year for me in more ways than one and I will not get into details of what all transpired as most who know me know the incidents. I will just say that I was tested mentally and emotionally through various issues and as I look back on what transpired, I can only give praise to God for pulling me through each test and making me a better, stronger person as a result. I have always been the type of person where I do tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and when you interact with people on Twitter or have people send you replies you are not ready for, it can be a challenge to deal with them in a calm and respectful manner. I will admit that I messed up many times in how I responded to some people on Twitter and that is the danger of the immediacy of this tool. If you let loose your thoughts about someone or something and don't take time to think about what or how you should say something, it can bite you. And bite you hard! I went through this lesson numerous times in 2010.

Social media is truly amazing in how it gives you the ability to share whatever is on your mind immediately and with a large audience. However, with this capability, there is the dark side that we all have to be aware of all the time. And that is that we can spread rumors or accusations far and wide if we let exchanges with others or opinions we have about issues rear their ugly head. Take it from me...always take time to think about what you wish to post before hitting that Submit button. If you are frustrated or upset about what someone said to or about you, step back and evaluate the situation. Try to look at it from the other person's point of view. Did you say or do something that may have contributed to them being mad or in how they react to you? Did you joke around a little too much and it was taken in a different light by them? We do not know the whole story about someone else and why they may share specific things online and to make an assumption or joke about these cases, we are only setting up ourselves for a possible confrontation. Believe me, I speak on these issues from experience and many of them are times I am not proud of being involved in. Many times our past experiences with others plays a major role in how we view them and when situations arise that can cause conflict, we tend to only concentrate on "what is on our screen" from past interactions and overlook anything good or positive about the other person. This can cause major problems between people and only lead to more strife and continued battles. There are still a few who dislike me from past experiences with me and that is something I cannot change. Eventually it is my hope that with time, we can see more eye to eye, but I also know there are some who will never want to make amends with me and I am fine with that. My identity is not shaped or influenced by what others think about me if they want to continue to look down on me. My identity is safe in Christ. It is through him who gives me my focus and path in life.

The start of 2011 brought a new opportunity for me as I was offered a job with a local company as an Online Marketing Specialist. It is pretty cool to me that I am also involved back in the Agricultural market as part of this job and it was a LinkedIn contact who works at this company who really helped me get my feet into the door. She cannot be thanked enough. :) Once again, it shows that leveraging your network when you are job searching can make a huge difference. Cultivating relationships with others and taking time to interact and learn about others can go a long way to helping you often in life when you need people to help.

In light of a new beginning for me in my career to start off 2011, I have spent much time in the last few weeks evaluating how I wish to continue to use Twitter. Some recent clashes with a select few has contributed some to how I view interactions with others and my openness that I have alway exhibited via my @markvanbaale account. Anytime you have an open account where you share your thoughts means you will get some naysayers or trolls who want to try and poke you to get a reaction. The type of people who do this feed off negativity and/or strife and they love to get a rise out of others in some sick and twisted way. God have mercy on their poor souls for this type of behavior. But, I have dealt with enough of this type of ridiculousness over the last year and realized I need to change how I use my time on Twitter. Here is where the following changes will happen...

My @markvanbaale Twitter account will still be an open account where anyone can read or follow me as they wish. I will be using this account to share links to articles I find interesting that I feel others would find value in also. I will also be using this account when I participate in Twitter chats like #agchat, etc. I will also continue to share any job openings I hear about in the KC area via this account and links to job leads and networking events that I share often on the KC Job Seekers blog. In addition, I will use my @markvanbale account in interacting with farmers, ranchers, other Ag professionals when I have questions tied to my job. That way, they can see my tweets when they are tagged with #Ag, #agchat, or #farm.

As for interactions with others and daily chatting, I will be doing all of that via my @mvanbaale account. This account is locked down (protected status) and will stay this way. I wish to interact with people who wish to have civil conversations with me and who I wish to connect with. If I feel we have had positive interactions in the past or if we did not, but made amends over time, then I will most likely accept your follower request to the @mvanbaale account. Those who have been nothing but trouble for me or who continue to spew false rumors or lies will not be accepted into following me and what I share via this account. I want to have as many positive, fulfilling conversations/interactions with others as I can and still do this via Twitter. But those who are nothing but negative can stay away for their own good and mine too. Those who I follow on Twitter are people who I want to learn from and share my life's moments over time so we can each strengthen our relationship. That is the essence of the beauty of Twitter in being able to do this.

With this all being said, I look forward to these new changes and what they will bring. For those who currently follow my @markvanbaale account and you wish to interact with me outside of when I share links/articles, make sure to follow @mvanbaale. Here is to more connections and positive outcomes for 2011! Thanks! :)

Final Post for 2010 - Reflection of God's Blessings

2010-12-31T19:17:00.000-08:00

As I write this final post of 2010, it is roughly a hour until the 1st day of 2011 comes rolling in. Earlier this week, I wrote out a few thoughts on paper and then put them on my blog on some of the tough things I encountered in 2010. But after thinking more about them and a few people challenging me if I really want to go back to reflect on those bad times, I decided I don't want them to define me because they don't. So, I deleted them from my blog. Instead, I want to write this post to reflect on the great things that became part of my life or that happened to me that I count as blessings in 2010.

First off, I have been given great opportunities to serve others in volunteer capacities this year that has been a true blessing. I was asked by one of the founders of New Landings, a non-profit organization that exists to help the middle class unemployed find jobs to help lead their social media team and bring awareness to their members on how to use tools such as LinkedIn and Twitter/Facebook for the job search process. I have thoroughly enjoyed being part of New Landings lead team and planning for what the next year will bring to this organization.

I started the Job Seekers View blog as a resource to help provide job seekers with information on weekly networking events, job search workshops, career fairs, etc. in the Kansas City area. Recently, a Job Leads page was added to highlight jobs in the KC area from recruiters, companies, etc. For 2011, the plan is to have more guest posts, video interviews with local job seekers who will share what they are looking for, and interviews with those who currently have a job sharing the path they took to get to where they are today.

Also, in 2010, I got connected with Ryan Nelson, pastor at 33 Church. My family and I has been looking for a church after we left one where the lead pastor left. The most important attribute for a church for us was one where we feel welcomed and appreciated for who we are. Ryan has a heart for the Olathe community and a deep passion for loving others in community at 33 Church. I encourage you to check out 33 Church if you are looking for a place where you can be yourself and be part of a caring community.

I got connected with someone that I have got to know as a friend named Brian. Brian is celebrating 2 months sober now and it is only by God's grace that he is at that point. It is a true honor to see Brian starting to understand that God has a grand plan for him as He moves in Brian's life. It is also a privilege to walk alongside Brian to see as God works in his life. I hope to do more of this in 2011 (walk alongside people as they encounter God and his plan for them).

In addition, I worked with a few other gracious friends to start a new group in the KC area called Kansas City Social Media Group. Houlihan's in Olathe has offered their space each month for this group to meet for breakfast. A close knit group of loyal attendees comes each month where a business is featured and a panel or attendees offer advice/tips for the business. So many businesses have benefited from coming to this breakfast and getting suggestions to improve their business.

There have been so many friends who I got to know in 2010 and it is each of them who gave me support and encouragement to make it through the tough times. Thank you to each one of you! You know who you are. :)

And finally, but not least, I am so very thankful for my family. My wife and two kids mean the world to me. They have seen the heartache, hurts, and struggles I went through in 2010, but they were right there by my side to help me get back up when I felt like I could not anymore. There is nothing like the smile of your kids when your days are long. I am so blessed to have them in my life.

2010 will have many tough times that God will use for good in His time, but more importantly, wonderful memories I will cherish were made in this year.

Here is to 2011 and living for so much more!

When God Grabs A Hold of You

2010-12-13T12:38:00.000-08:00

I was stopped in my tracks a few times this week and both times made me think about where I am in my life and what am I making as my top priority. The first time was when a good friend I know had his life changed instantly when he found out his sister and her kids were involved in a tragic accident in Gardner about a week ago. Just like that, our lives can be upended in a flash. One minute, life is good and we are moving along through our life with not a care in the world and the next minute, it can change suddenly. With the rise of social media, I have been able to keep up on the progress and news of what my good friend has shared via Facebook/Twitter what is going on with his sister and her two kids as they deal with the daily reminders of what has happened to them. Unfortunately, two lives were lost in that horrible accident and one of them was a young 13 year old child whose mom and her two sibilings are having to deal with her loss and their own fight in life as they deal with the consequences of what happened in a flash.

The second story was one that someone I have got to know via Twitter sent me. It was also one of those stories that grips your heart and makes you take a serious look at how you are living your life and what you should be focusing on. In a short summary, a father had a dream that he may die soon and he recorded his last thoughts/wishes for his family to do when he did depart from this world. No one knew about this video until the father did pass away suddenly in a tragic plane crash. That video was something the father's kids and his wife could hold onto as a reminder of who he was. He had a deep love for his kids and wife and showed it everyday. He made them his top priority no matter what came into his life.

So, how did these two stories impact me? They made me stop and think about where I am in my life and how I want to be remembered. All too often, I can easily get swept up into other people's troubles or they attempt to sweep me into their drama or I focus on something that really has no lasting value in participating in it. All the drama of this past year between Social Media Clubs in Kansas City and Johnson County and who is for who and who should represent who is utter rubbish!!! I say this even though I wrote a blog post against the formation of SMCJoCo. Now, several months later, I realize that speaking out against a club started in the area was really not what I should have been focusing on. How I look at it today is I am not responsible for what people do and who they associate with and if others find value in another Social Media Club, then all the power to them.

I do have to admit though that the fallout from my blog post and the awful accusations, name-calling, blog posts about me, etc. was absolutely not needed. Some people will know who I am talking about who took it upon themselves to put in a public forum their thoughts about me. I am as much at fault for that from things I have written about others in the past, but that is something I am moving away from. Like I said earlier, I want my life to be known for how I have helped others in a positive way or how I was the father every kid wants or the husband every wife would love to have.

I am writing this post from Lawrence where I met with a few people earlier for lunch. People who truly care about me as a person and a friend. They don't hide behind false fronts or behind tweets. I have met my fair share of "posers" this year from dealings with them either from their thoughts on what I have shared on Twitter or my blog posts or when I was not a part of their "club" anymore. Those who don't talk to you once you move away from participating in their exclusive "club" are not worth your time. Focus on those who truly want to know you outside of your online identity. Too often, we can get ourselves wrapped up into an online identity and feel like we can treat others like dirt and that is fine. It can be because we are seen as "leaders in social media" or that others bow down to whatever we say online. Too often and it is getting worse, our online identities can be placed on a pedestal based on who we are online or who we associate with. And even though this next statement may get me in some hot water, I am afraid I am starting to see some in Social Media Clubs take on an aura of "look at me, I am important!" and that is NOT what it should be about. I am not saying everyone who is part of a SMC is like this, but too often I have experienced it and it has really turned me off from wanting to continue or be a part of such a club. The only exception for a SMC that has not turned me off has been SMCLK (Social Media Club Lawrence). Every time I travel to Lawrence to meet with someone from that organization or someone who is not part of it, I am welcomed warmly. What is the difference between this group of people and others? I think it is that many here in Lawrence, outside of a select few who have not learned this lesson, want to get to know you as a person outside of your online identity. They may know about things you have done or said as part of your online identity that you knew were wrong and admitted it as so, but they don't hold that stuff against you. They know we are all human and make mistakes. They really do care about you as a person and want to be associated with you. Why can't this be true in other places? Why can't some give up their grudges and junk from things that happened in the past and treat you like you matter? Come on people, life is way too short to hold a grudge against someone. I speak from experience as I was on no speaking terms with my sister for a year since I said something about what she posted on Facebook as being a little too vulgar and she took it wrong. A whole year of my sister not wanting to speak with or acknowledge me. It hurt and it sucked!

As the two stories I mentioned in the beginning of this post showed, our lives can suddenly change in a flash and all of that crap and grudges we hold against another can haunt us forever. Don't let that happen to you! What is my whole point of this post? It is to say that I am going to focus on what is most important in my life more in the new year. My family has suffered enough at times from when I have spent a lot of time online engaging in Twitter, etc. More often than not, I have spent way too much time trying to win "approval" from people I may have angered or upset with something I may have shared online and that time is going away. It is not worth it. My focus will only be on those who really want to get to know me as a person minus what I share on Twitter, Facebook, etc. If you are someone who wants to throw barbs at me behind your Twitter handle, don't even bother to waste your time. I will only associate myself, if I can help it, with those who are positive or who I have met and know they do care about me.

I can see my Twitter list of who I follow to go down quite a bit with this move, but my thoughts on Twitter are quite different from how many may use it. I don't always follow back those who follow me. If I have a good conversation with someone on Twitter and/or someone follows me and I know them from a conversation offline, I usually follow them back. I use Twitter to communicate and learn from those who I want to be associated with.

This post is one of those times where you get something on your mind and you just want to write your thoughts out, so some of this stuff may not make much sense to some, but it was something I wanted to share. Plus, I wanted to give kudos to many who I have got to know via Twitter, Facebook, etc. who I really enjoy learning from and hearing about their lives as they share them. As for the ego-centric and those who want to only focus on negative and/or only talk to you when you are part of their "club," they can go take a hike. :)

I challenge you to think about how your year has went and to think about if maybe you need to change where your focus is and who you associate with. Make sure to only spend time with those who care about you and want to know you outside of your online identity. We are more than our Twitter handle, Facebook status updates, or blog posts. Make your life one that leaves behind a lasting legacy that can be shared with others and make a positive impact on them and so on.

Blessing Each of You Who I May Have Wronged

2010-11-25T21:32:00.000-08:00

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." (Luke 6:27-28)

This post is one that has been weighing on me for a few days now. I was reading a devotional the other day where it talked about checking under the hood. Anger is like the lights on a dashboard. They tell you something is going on under the hood. You must find out the source of the problem. A verse was tied to this devotional from Colossians 3:8: "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips."

In the past year, I have had some instances come up where I did lash out at some people whether it was disagreements they had with how I handled blog posts, tweets, or how I seemed to go after some people because I thought what they were doing was wrong. Truthfully, in all of these cases, some people were hurt, including myself, and in reality, it was not worth it one bit. When I do Google searches on my name, some posts come up that talk about how I handled situations on my own blog and truthfully, I am not proud those posts show up for my name, but everyone has their own opinion to how they see things. I go back now and realize I should have never got involved in the comments and left it as is. It only hurt me in the end and this was not the first time I had it out with some online.

I had an incident in April where I was promoting the fact there was a Save Folgers KC Facebook page and I got into another heated debate with someone on Twitter about why I supported this initiative. It got ugly fast and as a result, I lost a few friendships from that incident where to this day, some of them still don't speak to me. Add the post I did on my own blog in June expressing why I felt there was not a need for another Social Media Club in KC to start and how I was ridiculed for taking a stand in expressing my opinion and you can see there has been an unfortunate pattern for most of this year of battling it out with many folks. It is not anything I am proud of and there are a few who continue to take jabs at me when they can.

However, as I have thought about what has happened in the past and some of the mistakes I made, Colossians 3:8 has come to my mind. In fact this verse alone is one that many of us should focus on during this time of the year when we are together with relatives and family as we all well know it is far too often that fights, arguments, etc. seem to happen when everyone gets together for the holidays.

I need to rid myself of anger and any malice I may have in my heart for some who I felt wronged me or I had a battle with this year. And to do that, I realize I need to pray and bless those who have not so good words for me and my actions this year. Also, a post by Danny Brown made me take a step back realizing whoever we criticize is Someone's Child. Behind the scenes, a wife, a kid, a parent, or a friend watch as their loved one takes heat.

So, this post is for a few who I will name here (first names, Twitter handles) and for anyone who may feel like they should go to someone they know and bless/love them even if there has been disagreements with this person. Life is too short to have grudges with others. By naming a few people here, I do not expect anything back in return unless some do want to extend the "olive branch" back to re-connect. Otherwise, I felt like the Lord was pressing on me that I needed to do this and He is right.

Kirk (@kcklo63), I have apologized to you in the past for my actions/disagreements on how I handled the Save Folgers KC discussion we had earlier this year. I know now that you just had some genuine questions about why I supported this initiative and we got into on Twitter in a way that got too personal. I hope we can re-connect down the road again maybe someday, but even if we don't, I want to wish you and your family blessings for the coming new year.

Renee (@Ms_Nene), You and I had a great friendship going before the Save Folgers KC incident went down and you did stand by my side sticking up for me many times through this mess. But, I did wrong in not stopping or heeding your request to stop engaging with others on this issue. It caused a lot of hurt for you and I apologize. I do want to wish you the very best for your new venture coming up and pray that God blesses it tremendously in the way he knows how.

Lisa (@lqualls4444), Mike (@wrytir), Jenn (@JennBailey), Steven (@whereisciao), Ed (@EdRoberts), and Jeff (@jeffisageek), I did you wrong in doing a post on my own blog about my thoughts/opinions asking why Social Media Club of Johnson County was started and causing a firestorm that many of you had to handle without knowing ahead of time that I was planning to post this message. I was part of the board at that time and should have respected the board's agreement to not speak out about this issue until the board was ready to do so. I jumped the gun and it was each of you who had to suffer the consequences. I know I have apologized before, but I want to extend my apologies again for that matter. I pray blessings on each of you as you continue to lead the SMCKC board into the new year and for each of you personally.

For anyone who may be reading this post and knows about the incident that went down over my blog post questioning the formation of SMCJoCo and how I resigned from the SMCKC board later, it was my fault for jumping the gun with my post ahead of time. When I realized the mess I had started by doing so, I came to the board apologizing for my action and requesting for them to make a decision on whether I should resign or not. It was decided I should do so and I accepted that fate. The board did not throw me under the bus. It was my own decision to resign due to my actions. I take responsibility for what transpired.

Paul (@paulevansmedia) and Sara (@sarasocialmedia), It has not been pretty between us for awhile now and I can understand why. A lot of hate and disagreements have transpired in the past from various incidents, but I feel it is time for me to realize there were things I have said that caused both of you hurt and lost trust. You had the right to start SMCJoCo and it got too personal when I had disagreements about why you started it. We may not always see eye to eye on past issues, but I do want to apologize for our clashes from the past and wish God's blessings on your business, on SMCJoCo's growth, and your personal lives. And I hope someday we can reconnect on better terms, Lord willing.

Chris (@chrisheuer) and Kristie (@kristiewells), The conversations I have had with each of you have never been very positive and I want to publicly apologize for my actions/ill thoughts towards both of you. You both have built a national organization of Social Media Clubs around the nation and done it on your own sweat and time. You should be proud of that fact and when you came to defense of when the SMCJoCo group was started, you were only sticking up for what you thought was right. I do apologize for any trouble I started and hope that understand my apology is sincere. I pray for blessings on each of you personally and professionally and for continued success for Social Media Club.

SMCKC Members, I let many of you down when I went out on a limb questioning why another SMC needed to be started in the KC area. I had my reasonings why I wrote the post at the time, but also realize now that my ramblings about another group starting and not looking at it in how this new group could be a benefit to the KC area is what caused a real mess. I represented all of you as a SMCKC board member and should have handled the situation in a much more professional manner. Instead I went out on my own to write my own blog post and strained relationships with many of you. Some of those relationships continue to be strained today and even though I may not be able to change your mind about how you feel about me, please know I do apologize. I pray for blessings on each of you for the new year and hope, Lord willing, we can re-connect in time. Thank you.

I may have forgot others who I have had a few disagreements with or that I angered so much that they wanted nothing to do with me again and for those people, I apologize for my anger, slander, and any malice I had towards you. I have messed up in the past and want to move forward with a clear conscience in my mind knowing I have extended my apologies towards those I may have wronged in some way. I do not expect anyone to return the favor or want to re-connect if they choose to not do so. I do know that for God to forgive me, I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness (extend my apologies) to anyone who may need to hear it. And that is what I wanted to do with this post.

Thank you for taking time to read this post and I want to extend blessings to each of you during these holidays and pray that you will find good tidings into the new year.

Thank You Video Message

2010-11-24T17:42:00.000-08:00

Deep Dive Into How Social Media Has Affected Me

2010-11-22T21:06:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those times where you sense a shift in thinking on how people are using technology and how this is affecting our lives? Well, lately, I have started to notice many articles like this one, this one, and this video about how social media in general could really be having an effect on our lives. I will be right upfront with you that I truly believe that using tools like Twitter, Facebook, etc. is addicting and classifies right up there with addictions such as gambling that many lose control over managing it. I know there will be a few who will say "Hogwash!" to this belief and everyone has their right to an opinion, but I believe it is true. All we have to do is look at the generation growing up today where they are constantly texting and always connected with their phone by their side.

Quite frequently, I may meet up with others for "tweetups" and as you look around, you can see so many updating their Twitter stream or Facebook page telling others what they are doing. What happened to engaging with others who are present with you at that time?? Have we lost touch with sharing the current moment with those around us? I am writing this post as much for myself too as I have been sucked into the constant, always-on stream of tweets that I look at throughout each day. Twitter never turns off and frankly, I think it is going to cause more people to get addicted with time, if you are not already there. Guess what? I am a Twitter addict and I struggle with this all the time.

What makes us so addicted to checking our phones constantly or streams to see the latest tweets, etc.? Research has shown that dopamine makes us addicted to seeking information. Dopamine causes seeking behavior. It causes us to want, desire, seek out, and search. The wanting (dopamine) system propels us to action and if our seeking is not turned off, for a little while, then we start to run in an endless loop. With Twitter and texting, we now have almost instant gratification of our desire to seek. We get into a dopamine induced loop...we start seeking, then we get rewarded (feel pleasure) for the seeking which makes us seek more. It becomes harder and harder to stop looking at tweets, email, stop texting, or to stop checking our cellphones for new messages. The dopamine system is most powerfully stimulated when the information coming in is small so that it doesn't fully satisfy us. A short text or tweet is ideally suited to send our dopamine system raging.

Often, I get weird looks when I tell people I don't have a "smartphone." I have one of those cellphones that will probably be in a museum someday that only makes phone calls and can send text messages. I rarely ever text and usually it is only in response to when someone sends me a text. You want to know why I don't have a smartphone that allows me to browse the Internet, tweet, etc.? It is because I know if I did, I would always be connected and constantly checking it or using it to tweet the latest thing going on around me at the time. When I am present with people, I want my focus to be on them and them alone. I don't need a phone constantly going off as I get replies, DM's, etc. coming in. I will be honest in saying that it annoys me when I am with someone and their phone goes off and they look at it or take a call. It makes me wonder if I am not that important enough for them to wait and take that call later.

Don't get me wrong in thinking that I am against social media and what it provides in benefits to us. I truly believe in the value of tools such as Twitter, etc. and have connected with so many people via these tools. However, it has been how I use Twitter that has caused me a heck of a lot of headaches this year alone and with the new year approaching, I plan to take a step back and really think about how I use Twitter, etc. for my needs.

I have been told often that I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeves and I would have to agree with that belief to an extent. However, here is where I want to share why this could be the case. I grew up pretty much a loner in school and hung out with people who others may consider trouble-makers or nerds. I did that since these people accepted me for who I was and nothing more. So, as is often in school, I was picked on or bullied a lot by jocks or those who felt like they had to resort to being jerks to make themselves look good and do it at the expense of those who were their targets. This went on through high school and frankly, it sucked! I let these punks bully me around and was silent about it.

After high school, I went into the U.S. Army to get money for college and since my Dad was in the Army, he encouraged me to go this route. Basic training sucked big time and was a challenge for me since I could not always pass the physical training tests or marksmanship tests. Again, I was ridiculed and yelled at constantly by my drill sergeants and a few of my fellow soldiers. I was told I was nothing and would never pass basic training. We had a new captain over our unit and every time he saw me, he was an encouragement. He told me to keep striving forward. I will never forget the day when I did graduate from basic training and he said my name and told me to stand up in front of everyone. He told everyone that I really had a tough time going through basic training, but I stuck it out and made it and he was proud of me! Wow! After basic, I was sent over to Germany to serve the rest of my active duty time. That was another challenge in itself as I was very far from home and it was a struggle to not get homesick often. But, it was the generosity and hospitality of an American family who lived over there who allowed me to visit their home every weekend to stay and hang out that allowed me to get through my 3 years. It was called The Hospitality House Ministry as part of Cadence International that continues today to bring "family" to those soldiers who are far from home. It was the Army though that did toughen me up to the point where I was not afraid of the fear of others rejecting me and started to stand up to those who attempted to do this.

Flash-forward after I got out of the Army, dated my wife-to-be for a few years, got married, graduated from college, and took a job at a major Fortune 500 company. Eventually, I was transferred for my job to the Kansas City area 3.5 years ago. Things went well for awhile, until my job was completely changed on me and I was moved from doing things on the Web that I had done for 6 years to managing direct mail campaigns only. This was a drastic change that did not sit well with me and over time, I realized I wanted to get back into doing things on the Web.

I guess I went down a path where I shared a little bit of my history, but the reason I did that is to come to the point where social media entered into my life. Enter Twitter in August 2008. I had explored if there was a group in the KC area that met to talk about social media and I found out a Social Media Club of KC was just getting started. And also, a tweetup was to be held so naturally, I had to sign up for Twitter to make sure I felt a part of this tweetup. :-)

It was then when I got hooked on Twitter and started to use it to make many connections with people in the KC area and beyond. I had found a tool that I could use to be "social" with others and not have to do it via face to face as often. For one who always grew up with others rejecting you for who you were, it became addicting to use Twitter since so many people accepted me for who I was behind my tweets and for sharing information that was of value to others. As more people connected with me and told me that what I shared was important to them, the dopamine in me ramped up as I continued to seek and seek and seek. It was the reward system of getting reassuring comments as I tweeted more and more that started to make it addicting to me in a sense that Twitter allowed me to feel who I always wanted to be in feeling valued by others.

Flash forward to when I moved on from my job since I wanted to get more into social media and the company I was with did not or would not allow me to pursue that route. It was a mentality of "do your job" and don't share how we could use social media to interact with our customers, etc. My heart was with interacting online and doing things on the Web like I had done 6 years prior in my job so being told that I should manage direct mail campaigns and be happy about that did not sit well with me needless to say. I realized it was time for me to move on.

Moving into 2009, I continued to connect with people over Twitter, but it was my interactions with a few that caused me some heartaches. In summary, some people completely shut me out of their lives due to some "mistakes" I made in how I interacted with some people they considered friends and to be honest, it brought back those memories of feeling rejected. It hurt to be told that others did not want to be associated with me anymore. I have since apologized to those I did upset, but some have continued to shut me out. I guess what I am getting at with this reference is that I have too often connected with people via Twitter and considered many to be "friends" since they followed me and I followed them. Too often, I have spent way too much time interacting with people online and not enough time with my family or true friends in real life. I have often wondered why is that? I think it goes back to the fact that I have always strived to matter to others and when people reject you, it can cause your world to feel like it has shattered. When you rely too much on what people think about you and always try to please others, you will never feel completely satisfied. There will ALWAYS be someone who dislikes you or does not like how you do things. I think this is the reason why so many get upset when someone "unfriends" them on Facebook or stops following them on Twitter. We feel like we are connected to others we follow or who follow us, even if we may never meet them in real life. They are "virtual" friendships and there are times these online friendships can move into real life, true friendships. Maybe that is what I am searching for as I continue to use Twitter and how it can be addicting to so many. We want to feel loved, cared for, and appreciated for who we are and many times we feel this via connections on Twitter.

I have not really had any true, close friends since I moved to the Kansas City area and I think that is what I have been searching for at times as I use social media tools like Twitter, Facebook, etc. I want to connect with others, but take it a step more to really get to know them offline. Unfortunately, as more technology tools enter our lives, they are moving us away from in-person interactions I believe. We need to all take a step back and think about how we use social media.

Over time, as I have continued to job search, I have felt I need to stop the constant checking of my Twitter stream to feel that dopamine surge I get when getting replies or responding to others and step away from my computer. I think my OCD may also play a factor in how I try to always feel like I need to check for the latest tweets in case I miss something important as part of my job search. I am not saying I need to abandon Twitter altogether as I still think it is useful for connecting with others, but I have realized it has taken way more time than I should allocate to it when I should be out meeting people face to face for potential job opportunities. That is my goal going into the new year. Connect with some people on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Facebook for starters and take it offline to engage with them further. Too often, we engage with people and can have wonderful conversations via DM's or in the public stream and that is great, but why don't we take it offline more?

As Thanksgiving comes upon us, I am thankful for the incredible numbers of people I have engaged with online and continue to do so today, but I want to take that "Thanks" to the next level. I want to engage with more of you offline and get to know you at a deeper level if you are willing to go there. In reality, we each need one another as we walk our journey in life. So, if you start to see me asking if you want to meet for coffee, lunch, or a beer at the end of the day, you will understand that I just want to get to know you more.

I want to challenge each of you to take a step back as we close out 2010 and think about how you have used social media tools this past year. How can you take a relationship you have started online and take it to the next level to get to know people in a more deeper way? Much like the name of a business started by someone I have got to know via Twitter and in real life has the initials IRL as part of its identity, let's start to move more of our online interactions to real life.

Who is with me to commit to this level of interaction in 2011?

How to Develop Skin of a Rhino and Soul of an Angel

2010-08-23T00:41:00.000-07:00

This next post covers a chapter in a book I have had for awhile now that I pick up every once in awhile to read through it. The name of the book is The Other 90% by Robert K. Cooper. It talks about how to unlock the untapped potential for leadership and in life.

In our society, there are too many enticements for us to lie and look away. Feign loyalty and then seize what we want or backstab for our own gain. Smile and schmooze while at the same time thinking about how we can use someone to our advantage. Our society can be a dog eat dog world at times, especially in the job search scene.

That is why developing the skin of a rhino is so important. The thinner the skin, the less able we are to handle self-doubt or criticism from others. It is necessary to have a thick enough skin to meet the barbs and arrows of life while having the courage to say what you mean and mean what you say, even when others don't like it.

Keep these insights in mind:
1. Don't take things personally; someone's always going to be mad at you and that's okay. What other people convey in what they say, feel, think, and do is rarely about you. Instead it is almost always about them. It could be that the person who criticizes you is having a tough time in their life right now or they feel threatened and the only way they can act tough is to put someone else down. Or maybe the person who puts you down sees the world in a different way and what you do or say is in opposition to what they believe, so they feel it is their right to tell you otherwise. Keep this in mind: There is no point in hitching your self-esteem to the fickle whims of others. Don't waste time trying to please them. Let your life speak.

What follows is for those who feel it is necessary and right to criticize others for their own good. Most people experience criticism as a disturbing, negative encounter that feels like a personal attack. Even if you do not say anything directly mean about a person or your beliefs are that this person should be called out for something, don't do it. We loathe critical remarks from people who know us little, if at all. When you are visible online and speak your mind, you will get people who criticize you or try to make you look bad in front of others. Don't let them have that glory. For those who attempt to point out weaknesses in others, bear in mind that motivation is primarily intrinsic. It must come from within a person. We cannot force it from the outside.

If you are receiving criticism from others, decide if this feedback is based on genuine concern and support for your well-being and advancement. If it is, consider it with care. If not, ask yourself, Is this criticism given from a place of jealousy, envy, or politics? If it is, acknowledge hearing it but don't internalize it. Don't let others take unwarranted potshots at your inner confidence.

2. Stop trying to "fix" anyone else or "take care of" their struggles. It is not your job. By challenging existing attitudes or behaviors, you stimulate healthy development in others. By being unwilling to sweep difficult issues under the rug, you demonstrate that you are willing to invest time and energy to tackle tough issues that you could have avoided.

3. Choose truth over harmony. Seeking the truth or finding a way to face and solve a difficult situation almost always matters more than preserving harmony. When you search for truth in yourself and others and get ready to express yourself, don't confront, convey. Most important thing is to be yourself and be heard. On occasion, we must take risks with our voice and views, even when we're certain to anger others. However, time these moments with care. Often, you have to practice constraint and calmness in certain volatile situations.

On the other hand, developing the soul of an angel is essential. Angels inspire us and are bright lights in our world, likened to invisible friends watching over us but rarely interfering or intervening. We speak of angel investors as those who are first to see and fund the promise of a new idea or venture. Mother Teresa was called both a living saint and an angel of mercy. She touched the world in much the way that an angel might.

Research indicates many of the individuals who make the greatest difference in the world combine the qualities of personal humility and unwavering resolve to do what is right and a great willingness to credit others when things go well.

What are some qualities of angels?
1. Angels don't worry about you, they believe in you. They believe in the dreams and aspirations you want to see become true in your life. Impossible is not a term they hold for you. Anything is possible. In what ways do you help others sense their own possibilities?
2. Angels don't try to fix everything or take away life's lessons. They wait patiently nearby, observing the lessons being learned. They are not interested in giving us an easy way out. They may plant a thoughtful question or kind reminder. From time to time, they give us a needed nudge in a new direction.
3. No matter what their size, angels are large in spirit. They know when to choose being kind over being correct and when to remain detached from our own necessary, and sometimes difficult, learning.

When you interact with others, pause and consider how you aid them. Do you have the soul of an angel in helping to bring out the best in them? Let us choose to become more like angels.

In closing, think about how you live your life and how you can start to develop the skin of a rhino in deflecting the barbs thrown at you by others who attempt to criticize you and develop the soul of an angel in helping others and lifting them up to believe in themselves.

Becoming aware of your thirst and how social media makes an impact

2010-08-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

This is the second post tied to my thoughts about a book I got awhile ago called “Inside Out” by Larry Crab. In my first post, I talked about how we have different longings that we strive to have satisfied in our lives and what happens if we don't have them met. In this post, we will discuss how we need to be aware of our deep thirsts in our lives in order to change.

Changing from the inside out means to learn how to drink from the living waters of God's unchanging love so our purpose, identity and joy give us the courage to respond well whether our life is smooth or rocky.

To start taking a look at our life from the "inside out" and make changes, we first must realize and become aware of our thirst. To get free from compulsive things that clutter our lives or habits we cannot seem to break, we must realize our deep thirst. Often, we allow other things or people to become a god in our life.

Watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. (Romans 16:17-18).

When we allow things or others to become a "god" controlling what we do or say, this appetite can take over our lives. We are ripe for being hooked when we stumble unto something that brings a sense of fulfillment to us. People feel alive in midst of consuming pleasure and also when they are in a position of power or receive applause from others. If we are not careful though, the applause and popularity others give us can cloud our vision.

Here is where I feel the addiction of social media can easily become a vice in one's life. I know since I speak from experience in my own life. One tool that has been a challenge for me to manage at times is Twitter. Especially when I have it open. There are times I have to discipline myself to shut it off so it does not continue to distract me as I attempt to work on other things. Let me emphasize "attempt to work" since Twitter delivers a never-ending stream of information from people you follow, it can easily overwhelm you and take over your attention very easily if you allow it. A study I read once said it takes on average 15 minutes for someone to get fully focused on a task. If there are interruptions that takes away our attention, we have to start over and it takes another 15 minutes to start again. If you do this over a course of a day and focus too much on tweets people are sharing or respond to replies/DM's sent your way, you can easily lose a lot of time. Also, evidence has showed that whenever someone acknowledges us either via a retweet of something we shared or via a reply or direct message to us directly, our brains are triggered to give off feelings of pleasure. We feel happy and valued when we are known by others. No wonder tweets and other social media tools can draw our attention so easily since we feel pleasure from reading and interacting with others. I have reduced the number of people I am following in an attempt to help me manage the "noise" that is always flowing in Twitter. Most of those who I follow reside in Kansas City, Lawrence, or nearby and one reason they make up the majority of people I follow is because I have met them in real life or I want to meet them in the near future.

I am not knocking that we should not use Twitter or other social media tools during our workdays, etc., but encouraging us to make sure we don't allow these tools to become like a "god" in our lives. Believe me, I am still learning how to better manage my time using Twitter, etc., since I absolutely love how easily you can interact and connect with people on there and that is something I enjoy very much. It is in my blood to interact and help people online. Now, if using social media is part of your job, then by all means use it to interact and help others, but make sure to take breaks from it during your time away from work since you can easily burn out from using social media all the time.

Now, with the increase in smartphones and location-based applications, we are even more attached to devices that allow us to be connected and "check-in" to digest information, talk with people or meet friends at places. I can see in the future where everything in our life will be documented (where we go, who we see, what we do) and it will be available online for anyone to view. Technology is available to us 24/7 with smartphones we have now. For that reason alone plus others, I do not have a smartphone. The only things I can do on my cellphone is make calls, receive and send out text messages and take photos. Remember when phones only made calls? :-) I suspect with time, I will end up getting a smartphone if a job I have requires it, but for now, I don't have one so I can focus on being present fully with those I am with. Which reminds me, how many times have you been to a "tweetup" or get-together with others and noticed many have their eyes focused on their smartphone screen as they send out a tweet, post a picture, or post a Facebook status update to document what they are doing and where they are?? What happened to being fully present and focused on those you are meeting? We are a documenting, show the world where we are society now.

In conclusion, ensuring your deep thirst is satisfied means we need to focus more on allowing God to help us change from the "inside out" and less on what people think or say we should do via social media tools. Being outdoors and out of reach is one great way to remove yourself from the constant call of technology when you need a break. This is one way I restore my soul and take a refresher in life when needed. Take time to draw close to God and allow Him to satisfy your longings in life.

How do you satisfy the deep thirst in your life? Share in the comments if you wish.

Take a Look at Your Life "Inside Out"

2010-08-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

I took some time yesterday afternoon to take notes and go through a book I got awhile ago called "Inside Out" by Larry Crab. I will probably have a few posts tied to this book and the notes I took. Inside Out talks about how real change is possible only when you face the realities of your internal life and let God mold you into a person who is free to be honest, courageous, and loving. There are some parts of this book where as I read it, I thought to myself, that is similar to how people use social media tools. So, I will mention a few things related to social media in the posts tied to this book.

The book starts off by mentioning "most of us make it through life by coping, not changing. We rearrange what we do, but the core problems involving who we are remain only partially addressed."

Picture an iceberg on the water and how this iceberg represents you. The visible part above the waterline represents things you do, thoughts you think, and feelings you sense. Tying this to how we use social media, the visible part that people see are the tweets we send out via Twitter, the status updates we put on Facebook, or the posts we share on our blog. What we write and share with our followers/friends can be perceived in so many ways. Many times, we can easily take a tweet or status update out of context without really knowing for sure what the person meant. There is the danger of misunderstandings based on what people share online.

Back to the mental image of the iceberg, the mass below the waterline is the part that cannot be clearly seen by others. This part represents motives/attitudes of your heart, the painful memories and raging emotions you prefer to keep hidden out of view. It is here where our motives and emotions lie tied to things we send out via social media tools like Twitter or Facebook. There could be something bad we are experiencing in our life or we are dealing with a loss that can influence how and what we share online. I know there are times when I have had struggles whether that is via a lost friendship with someone or butting heads with someone on Twitter based off my beliefs on something where it helped me to tweet Scripture verses that were related to what I was going through. I have received flak for doing this at times by some, but sharing things related to my faith as a Christian is part of my identity and it helps others who may be going through similar struggles in their life.

When we take time to do an "inside look" at ourselves, we uncover thirst or deep longings for what we do not have. There are three kinds of longings. The first is basic desires that must be met if life is to be worth living. This is a crucial longing. The only way this longing can be met is through knowing God in your life. God is the only one who can fulfill this longing. No human being can do it. The second is important desires for quality relationships that add to the enjoyment of living. This is a critical longing and it can be met through a relationship with someone. Someone who loves and respects you like your spouse, friends who are there for you, etc. make up the type of relationships that meet a critical longing. The third is every other desire we experience from the trivial (I hope this restaurant is a good one) to the significant (I hope the tests that come back are negative). This is a casual longing. These longings do not involve what can be supplied only through another person's giving of himself.

What are the consequences of unsatisfied longings? If a casual longing is not satisfied, we experience manageable discomfort. Nothing external to my existence as a person is threatened if this longing is not met. If a critical longing is not satisfied, we can experience immobilizing lostness. We may feel empty and feel like no one cares about us or what we do seems unimportant. This can be via a lost relationship/friendship. Sometimes in social media, we may be unfollowed or "defriended" by someone and feel upset or sad about what happened. Especially in today's world where the number of followers or friends one has in Twitter or Facebook are celebrated or paid attention to by many. It seems at times that those who have thousands of followers are put up on a pedestal and their identity online can be attached to how many people are following them. This is a scary place to be since we are much more than the number of people who follow us online via Twitter or Facebook. That is why we need to make sure our identity we shape in life is not always tied to the popularity we may receive from others based on the quantity of people who are connected to us. The consequences of a crucial longing not being satisfied can lead to pain that must be dealt with. It can feel like we are at the beginning of hell in this situation. Again, the only one who can fulfill this longing is God. We must turn to Him during those times when we feel like the whole world is crashing in on us. He wants to hear our cries of help and embrace us to bring us comfort. If we fail to yield to God and his love for us, depression can occur and threaten to take over our life.

The interesting thing is that we spend most of our days concerned with satisfaction of our least important longings. We arrange for our own comfort.

In the next post, I will go into two different paths that we typically take based on how we feel our longings should be met and which longing is most important for us to fulfill.

The Power of One in Your Job Search (Reframing Your Life)

2010-08-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

This post is the fourth and final one in a series to share statements from the Stephen Arterburn book called “Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose” and share my thoughts.

In this post, we will be talking about one reframing device that can give you dramatic results if you focus on it. It involves the most challenging, but most valuable and powerful number in the world. That number is one. For anyone who has a hard time getting things accomplished such as stacks of items you need to get through, calls that need to be done, etc., begin to implant a big number ONE firmly in your mind. You focus on that number so much you start to ask about anything that happens, how it relates to the number one. All you are doing with this practice is increasing your awareness of where everything starts. It starts with the number one.

What is the power of ONE? It is found in reframing the structure of your mind to focus on what you have the ability to do and move out of thinking on what is too much for you to do. Have you ever had problems concentrating on doing something that you know will take you a long time (going through your emails) or just getting started on a project? My mind is like that. I tend to let my mind wander at times or get easily distracted by things that take my focus away from something I need to put my full attention on. For example, Twitter is an example of a tool that can suck away your time replying and following what people are saying in the stream if you are not careful about managing your time. It is like a firehose that never turns off. What you can do is take it one step at a time focusing on turning off those things that distract you and take time to write that one blog post you have been putting off or take that one hour to focus on your work. Or if one hour is too much of a stretch for you, focus on your work for 15 minutes and take a 1 minute break. Then go back to working for another 15 minutes.

The power of one can be valuable in how you search for a job. As you saturate your mind with the power of one, you can do the one thing that would move you from doing nothing to making progress. Maybe make a list of single actions and pick one a day for five days. In doing this, you can reverse a trend and start moving from sitting around wondering why you can't find a job to actively making progress towards your next job one step, one action at a time. One phone call can make the difference for a job. Sending one letter, volunteering one hour, or making one visit can start the habit of helping others.

I have started to think about how I could use the power of one in my own life as I continue to search for full-time employment. It is true that if you think about all the steps required to apply for a job or find a job, it can feel overwhelming. Especially if you have been searching for awhile or had many interviews with no success, the days can start to wear on you. But all it takes is one person that you connect with who has an opening that could lead to your next job. That is why networking is such an important part of a job search. I am involved in a few groups, including one that I started in July with a few others called the Kansas City Social Media Group. This is another group that allows business owners who want to learn more about social media come together in a social setting to network and learn from one another. I know there are other social media groups in the KC area like SMCKC, SMCJoCO, Internet Marketing/SM Meetup, etc. and in my opinion, the more groups that are out there where someone can connect with others to learn, the better. The KCSM Group focuses on providing an arena where business professionals can connect with others to get help, ideas, advice, and make connections in their fields in order to do their jobs better, gain new business, or solve problems. What is great about it is that there are many who come to this group and also attend other social media groups in the Kansas City area. It has been shared that one of the success tools in someone finding a job is through a contact they met through networking.

Another group I recently became a part of is New Landings. They are an organization who is committed to helping the unemployed middle class with resources and connections via networking to find their next job. I am part of their volunteer social media team to share ways their members can use social media tools to search for jobs and this group offers another opportunity to meet and network. Just by taking the time to learn one social media tool like Twitter, job seekers can start to take that next step in their job search. All it takes is using the power of one. Start with one tool and focus on it. Connect with one person who knows how to use social media and ask them for help.

I also am starting to think about how I can take the next step in connecting with more people I follow or who follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Facebook. There are so many people who live in the KC area that I chat with regularly via these social media tools and even though I have met some of them, I want to get to know more of them. All it takes is to make that one call, send that one e-mail, or send that one tweet/DM to someone and ask if you can get together with them to chat and get to know one another. So many of us connect virtually everyday, but do we go beyond the occasional tweet to really get to know someone and actually talk to them via phone or in person? That is one thing I am going to start doing more. Meet with people and get to know them for who they are outside of the person they represent on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Facebook. I encourage you to try this activity. In fact, by meeting these people, it might generate more blog posts on here about those I meet or even those who I feature on the Passion Drivers blog.

This post concludes the series based off the Reframing Your Life book. I will continue to share tidbits and thoughts on future books I read with you. I am open to hearing about books that have made an impact on you that you suggest I check out. Let me know in the comments. Also, if you have experienced the power of one and something you did made a difference in your life, let us know in the comments. We would love to hear stories from you. Remember, all it takes is taking that first step or doing that first action.

Reframing Your Life - A Process (Be Humble)

2010-08-17T23:10:00.000-07:00

This post is the third in a series to share statements from the Stephen Arterburn book called “Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose” and my thoughts/personal stories related to what I share. In my first post, I shared one of the barriers to “reframing” in your life is stubborn resistance to other viewpoints from others and how the antidote is having a more willing heart. In my second post, I shared another barrier to reframing is justifiable resentment towards yourself or others and the antidote to it is forgiving. I am calling an audible on the third barrier that I will share with you from Blind Ignorance to one that I feel is important to discuss.

The third barrier is one that many of us can fall into easily if we are not careful. It is Arrogant Entitlement. For so many, life is all about doing things your own way. The world we live in encourages "my way" thinking. We are bombarded with ads that say you can "have it your way" and "you deserve a break today." After all, isn't it really all about us and having it our way? Most people don't rush out to do something wrong. They inch up to it. They don't just steal at work, they convince themselves they are worth more than they make and are really just taking that to which they are entitled. When we do things like this, we are framing our actions before they are ever involved with them. This arrogant thinking will start small, but will infect every area of your life and destroy your relationships and the ability to heal them. If you stay on the course of arrogant entitlement, you will always be looking for the next thing and the next person who can help you get it, and you will become a taker, a self-absorbed greedy person who use people.

If you are living in your arrogance and demanding all you feel entitled to have, you begin to live like royalty. People start to see you that way also. But that is not good news. They see you on your throne, but you don't have much of an empire to rule. To others, you are "Your Royal Highness Baby" or "Sir Brat the Prince." If you have this way of thinking, you have very high expectations of what others should be doing for you. You want from others what is "due" you, and you want it in a way that will please you. Proverbs 14:16 says: "The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with great confidence." In this careless way of life, the fool loses his close relationships as he loses himself. It is a royal way to live: royally alone, stupid and empty.

Arrogant people are missing true humility. Humility within a person's heart eliminates the "me first," "my way," "give me what I deserve" way of thinking. Humility reaches out to connect with others, appreciating them for who they are, not just what they can do for you. A humble person is not using everything within himself to further his own cause, but rather there is a desire to use whatever position to help others and meet their needs. What does the Bible say about humility? 1 Peter 5:6 says: "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you." This can be hard at times to wait upon God as "his good time" is likely a lot slower than you want, but it is essential. Rather than assert our rights or beliefs about something or someone, we need to give others the right-of-way. Humility leads to contentment and satisfaction. Your humble heart draws people to you. People are repelled by arrogance and entitlement. I will close with this story from the book that sums up the difference between arrogant entitlement and humility:

"A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert-like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed they had no other recourse but prayer. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren. Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing. Finally, the first man prayed for a ship so he could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked on his side of the island. He boarded the ship and decided to leave the second man on the island.

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?" "My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered, so he does not deserve anything."

"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings." "Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"

"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."

How can you be more humble in how you treat others? Think upon this and reflect on your own life. See where you can turn from arrogant entitlement to humility. You will truly be blessed if you do.

In the next post, we will talk about one reframing device that would benefit you more than others and it involves the most challenging, but most valuable and powerful number in the world...

ReFraming Your Life – A Process (Be Forgiving)

2010-08-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

This post is the second in a series to share statements from the Stephen Arterburn book called “Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose” and my thoughts/personal stories related to what I share. In my first post, I shared one of the barriers to "reframing" in your life is stubborn resistance to other viewpoints from others and how this barrier was one that I exhibited not too long ago based on a controversial post I wrote. To break this barrier, one needs to have a willing heart and open mind to hearing and taking time to listen to what others share in response to what you think is right. This process takes time, but it is worth taking a step back and look at how you can "reframe" your life to be more willing.

This next barrier is one that I have struggled with a lot lately and in a way, this post is like therapy for me as I will be doing all I can to destroy this barrier and its hold on my life from past events.

The second barrier or roadblock to reframing is Justifiable Resentment. Are you angry about something in your life? Has someone hurt you, and anyone who heard about what happened would tell you that you have every right to remain angry and bitter at that person? Perhaps you have buried it so deep that you no longer recognize it is there. If you harbor resentment in your heart towards others, it is as dangerous as any radioactive material that could destroy your body. We can easily generate a root of bitterness when we have a hurt or wound that goes so deep it implants in our hearts. When you think of the word "root" it describes something that must be dug out of the ground of our pasts in order for it to be exposed and destroyed. Ephesians 4:31 says we are to "get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger." Why must we do this? It eats away at us, takes away our drive to fulfill our purposes in life, and taints our relationships. Job 5:2 says "resentment destroys the fool." We can chain ourselves to a past or person we cannot change or we can find a way to move on, give up our right to resent, and at some point, forgive them.

I have a personal story related to this barrier also that I want to share. This one has been a very tough one for me to overcome as I felt betrayed and angry at what happened to me and I have been holding on to this resentment for awhile believing I had every right to think this way. I won't got into details of who I am specifically talking about, but many will know what I mean. I was asked to come on board with a company that I had observed for awhile online who was attempting to build their business in the local area. I was excited about this new opportunity to help contribute my knowledge of the area and expertise in social media to help this company acquire new clients and make a positive impact in the community. Not too long after I came on board, this company attempted to raise awareness of a long-standing icon in the KC area who was told they were to close in the next year. Social media channels were used to spread the word about how this historic icon needed to be saved and how everyone could contribute to make their voice be heard. I pitched in to give a voice to this movement and had a few debates with some online about my beliefs or why I felt the way I did in saving this icon. Unfortunately, the debates turned ugly and instead of taking them offline to discuss in person with those who had questions, I kept it online. It caused a rift between me and many others. Some of the rifts caused some to still not talk or speak with me today. I sent apologies to those who I felt I upset and if they chose to not forgive and hold resentment towards me, that is their right. We all have to answer to God someday in how we live our lives, so that is between God and them. The fallout continued long after I had apologized and accusations about me were sent and shared with the company I was a part of. I was told they were behind me, but over time, this was turned on me. At the same time, my online activities via tweets or posts on Facebook were watched and analyzed with close scrutiny. Misunderstandings and assumptions about the context of my tweets or posts were the result. When I talked or sent tweets to those I had tried to apologize to, I was sent notes to stop this activity by this company. I believe in reconciling with others if you upset them and in this case, I was going to attempt to do that. I have always tended to share things on Twitter and other channels that express my feelings at that time and I started to share Bible verses that brought me comfort and strength during this time. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was when I was told to back off the religious things I shared since many felt I was starting to sound like a religious fanatic and I needed to balance out what I shared with more business-related tweets. As a Christian, this request or demand, depending on how one views it, was not going to happen. Sharing what God placed on my heart with others on Twitter is one thing I do often and that is something I was not going to stop. I felt that the company who at one time said they were behind me was now taking the sides of those who made assumptions about me and this had gone too far. My personality and Christianity way of doing things simply was not meshing with the viewpoints and way of doing business that this company shared. In the end, I felt it was best to move on from this company and get away from the "heat" that was continuing to torch me no matter what I did or how I tried to reconcile things. Did I feel resentment? You better believe I did. I was not happy how so many had turned on me and made me out as a bad person without many taking the time to understand me and why I said or did the things I did. Was I wrong in how I treated some people during this time? Yes, I was. I did some things that as a Christian, I should not have handled that way. Even long after I moved on, I felt I had a justified resentment towards those who I felt turned on me and if others would just understand where I was coming from, they would agree. That was my viewpoint. Even now as I write this post out, I can feel a little of the anger and resentment trying to rear its ugly head about these past events. It is time to find the antidote to the barrier of justifiable resentment towards others.

Without exception we are to forgive, no matter how justified we feel due to the severity of an offense. Jesus said the number of times we need to forgive is unlimited. We have a mandate to forgive. Forgiving others can take time especially if you feel deep resentment or think how could you forgive someone who caused so much hurt in your life? This is especially true for those who may have been hurt by others via abuse. As I have thought about this resentment I had, I have realized the longer I wallow in anger and bitterness, the more vulnerable I am to derailing my life into something I was not meant to do or be. I have to reframe it knowing that God has grace for me and for those who I feel resentment towards. I have to reframe these people as tools of God, imperfect tools God is using to transform my character.

When we forgive, it is a process rather than an event. This is very important to remember: The negative feelings we may have about others are not doing anything to the people who hurt you except allowing them to continue to negatively impact your life. You are letting them dominate your life. Justifiable resentment is a cancer on the soul. The bitterness is within you, not the person who hurt you. Your anger may give you the sense of power, but it actually robs you of your power. It is time to acknowledge they have remained the focus of too much time and attention and you have to let it go.

Stop this roadblock in its tracks. Let go of justifiable resentment and allow forgiveness into your life to allow you to reframe and move on with your life.

In the next post, we will dig into the next obstacle to reframing: Blind Ignorance.

ReFraming Your Life - A Process (Be Willing)

2010-08-17T00:37:00.000-07:00

I got a book the other day by Stephen Arterburn called "Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose" and I plan to share a few statements from this book and my thoughts in a series of posts over the next few days. The book focuses on how we need to look at what happens to us in the past via a process called reframing. Just as a frame on a picture enhances or detracts from the beauty of the art, how we frame ourselves and the events in our lives determines whether or not those events add or detract from the value and even the beauty of our lives. So many of us live in defeat. We remain stuck in mistakes we made or mistakes caused by others. It could be that a person or a group of people lashed out at you over something you said or did and as a result, one can be stuck in a state of bitterness or resentment that can eat you alive. You may never be able to resolve your past until you reframe your past and see it in a whole new light. Just as we frame a picture, we put a frame around our reality and we view all that happens to us through that frame or that perspective.

What are some barriers to reframing? One is stubborn resistance. Can you relate to those who so desperately need help but have a hard time opening up to the help they need? When you are in stubborn resistance, you may refuse to listen to what others share with you about things they see that are causing problems in your life. You may even project your problem onto someone else or blame them for the way you are. Your life becomes reactive to those who challenge you and you get stuck in ruts of your own doing. You may even hurt yourself and others around you, essentially allowing "boils" to fester in almost every area of your life. Those in this condition, no matter how painful life might become, refuse to budge and stand by what they believe is the right thing to do. I have to share that by personal experience I have done this before. I have wrote blogs posts or tweets that I stood by with all of my stubborn resistance without thinking about how others viewed what I wrote.

What is the antidote to stubborn resistance? It is Willingness. It is very difficult to implement this antidote after you have become so ingrained in your own way of seeing the world or others and react to it defensively. It takes time to have a willing heart or mind, especially if you have been hurt or rejected in the past by others. Willingness is the ability to see things from another person's perspective or at least be interested enough to acknowledge that not everyone sees things the way you do. Willing people realize not only that they are not always right, but they need to make things right when they wrong. So, in my case where I wrote a controversial blog post about a new SMC chapter that I did not believe needed to be started, I was resistant to others who shared their viewpoints or comments. Now that I look back, I realize that being more open minded or having a spirit of willingness would have made the outcome more positive or at least given me the opportunity to hear what others had to share. In a spirit of willingness, I decided to step down from the SMCKC executive board when asked to and I also stepped away as a member of SMCKC under my own decision. It is only through a willing heart can a person learn how to take what happened and reframe it for good. How am I reframing this particular issue? I do see where I went wrong now and have learned from it so I have a more open mind to opinions shared by others on issues that I may not agree with. If we all agreed with or disagreed with each other, we would never have the opportunities to learn valuable viewpoints from one another. Do I miss some of the good friendships I had with SMCKC members who didn't want anything to do with me after that controversial post and how I reacted defensively to so many? Sure, I do. But, I have learned that there will be some who are willing to forgive others for mistakes they did and reach back out to those who upset them before and there are others where that will never be the case. I am fine either way. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and some mistakes may be viewed by others as "recurring" often so they believe there should be no need to give such people who do this more chances. But, the fact of the matter is that God told us to forgive one another seventy-times seven (Matthew 18:22) and not hold one's mistakes against them. You cannot limit forgiveness. In Luke 17:3-4, it says: "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." If it weren't for God forgiving us all the time for the times when we have come up short, we would be lost. So, we need to forgive each other. That is the only way we will experience God's blessings on our lives by forgiving no matter how many mistakes are done by others or hurtful things are said to us.

Do you have a stubborn resistance that needs to be reframed to having a willing heart towards others? Believe me, it is worth taking time to reframe and embrace willingness.

In the next post, we will dig into the next obstacle to reframing: Justifiable Resentment. Until then, may you take a look at your own life and think about how you can reframe how you view things from the past and look at them in a new light.

Latest happenings for Mark

2010-08-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

In all your ways acknowledge the Lord, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6

The above verse reminds me that as I continue to focus on the Lord in all I do and rely on Him to help me through life, I can be rest assured he will make my path straight in front of me. I may not always know where the path is taking me or know what is the meaning of the scenery along the path until later, but God knows and will intend it for my own good.

At this point in my life, there is a lot going on. I am still looking for full-time employment with someone that embraces the uniqueness I bring in connecting and interacting with others via social media. What would I like to do? Well, I really do enjoy using social media tools to connect with people and help them whether that is in customer service, building relationships with customers or teaching them the ropes on social media. I could see myself in a variety of jobs as a community manager, social media consultant, or even in managing websites/content since I have experience in that area too.

While I continue to look for full-time employment, I am keeping myself quite busy in a few groups. One group was started in July with the intention of bringing together individuals and businesses in the Johnson County area and around Kansas City who wish to learn how to use social media tools/networking to connect and interact with their business or personal brand. The name of this group is the Kansas City Social Media Group. It was started in Johnson County, KS since a breakfast group focused on social media outside of the successful Internet Marketing and Social Media Meetup group was needed. Many members of the SMCKC group had expressed interest in a Johnson County SM group. We were approached by Houlihan's who graciously offered their Olathe location to host us and offered the entire restaurant for us to use on the morning of our breakfast. They also serve us a few wonderful items from their weekly Sunday brunch for breakfast on the day of our meeting. In fact, they have a great deal on their Sunday brunch for their social media friends that you can take advantage of during August. We have been very happy with the attendance at the first two KCSM breakfast meetings to date. We had 35 people show up at the July breakfast and around 75-80 people showed up at the August 12 breakfast! For now, we are only meeting for breakfast once a month at the Olathe Houlihan's with this group, but much more could be done with this group as time goes on. Tweetups, meetings outside of breakfast, etc. could happen. There is a planning committee consisting of myself, Shawn Gallagher, Chris Dowell and Marty Taggart that works together to plan and make the KCSM group meetings happen. I could not do it without all of their tremendous help and support.

Also, I was approached recently by Vicky Watson with the New Landings group to help them with their social media strategy as they continue to grow in membership. What is New Landings? At New Landings, their mission is to redefine the way their members view career transition by actively providing resources and new avenues to showcase their skills. They liberate individuals from the bounds of traditional thinking enabling them to create and engage with meaningful work. They are dedicated to the economic recovery of America's middle class. They have some awesome networking events coming up and weekly Wednesday night meetings with dynamic speakers focusing on career issues. They are also involved in a few outstanding programs coming up that will enable unemployed people take advantage of some opportunities to get involved in the workforce. What is very nice is that they list on their home page the number of "landings" or people who have landed jobs in the past year and month to date. They also show the economic contribution these new "landings" have brought to the economy as a result of them getting jobs. It goes to show that New Landings is dedicated to helping people who are unemployed and looking for their next career path. I will be co-leading the New Landings social media team with a few other New Landings members and I am very happy to lend my experience and knowledge to this group to help its members. A wonderful volunteer opportunity that I am looking forward to participate in.

Outside of these two groups, I have been spending time with my family and also taking time to think about how I can start writing more on this blog and my two other speciality blogs. Most people know I am a "chatterbox" on Twitter since I love to connect and interact with people on there, but I have also started to think how I should write more on my blogs to generate lasting content that others can read and refer to often. Twitter is great for quick tidbits to share with others and interaction, but once you tweet something, it is lost in time as more tweets come from you. Generating lasting content ensures people can take their time to read and digest what you share.

That is in a nutshell what has been going on for me lately. I plan to share more info about thoughts from my life on here as time goes on. Thanks for reading.

The Sidewalk of Life

2010-07-27T12:20:00.000-07:00

This is a copy of an article I found awhile ago and had been saving to read. Wanted to share it with you so you can read it and think upon it. Be encouraged.

Sometimes as you walk down the sidewalk of life you wind up in a deep hole that is not of your own making.

If you live on the coast during hurricane season the winds and rains may have come along and damaged your house.

The company you work for may have gone bankrupt you lost your job.

You return to your car in the mall parking lot and find that someone has smashed your fender.

Any of these events can place you in a hole of darkness, despair, anger, loss, anxiety, worry, or grief. You did not have anything to do with creating the situation but you must live with it. The hole can indeed be deep and dark, and you have to struggle long and hard to climb out of it.

This is the nature of life. Some things are out of your control. Unexpected events happen. Change always occurs. The most that you can do is adapt to them the best you can. You must struggle out of the hole into which you were thrown and journey on. Hopefully, you grow from such an experience and become a more mature person who is better able to cope with other pitfalls of life.

Have you ever found yourself in exactly the same hole more than once?

How is it that you always get into the same type of conflict with the boss? He is so negative and critical and always expects so much. She makes you feel miserable.

Maybe you are in the midst of the exact "word for word" argument with your spouse for the ten thousandth time. He says this and you say that just like you always do and you fall into the hole once again.

Your son, mother, sister, or brother does that thing that they always do. It pushes your buttons and you respond as you always do. The cycle of conflict begins once again.

You cannot believe that it has happened one more time. You wonder, "Why does this always happen to me? Why do they always do this to me? When will they ever stop? Why can’t they understand what they make me do?" If other people would just "act right" life would go better. You begin to work harder and harder to get others to change.

Fall into the same hole often enough and you may come to a realization. With the frequent occurrence of the same or similar events you sense that these things do not happen by chance. Maybe this repetition is a pattern that is not just inflicted on you solely by others. Such a reoccurrence of events must mean that you are playing a role in creating them.

As we go along the sidewalk of life we all fall into holes of psychological and spiritual distress. Sometimes it seems that we were shoved. Initially, it appears that it is not our fault to be in such a situation once again. However, as we continue in the journey of life we often find ourselves falling into the same hole more than once. When we do so we are given the opportunity of recognizing that there is actually a pattern in our lives. Patterns do not exist until an event happens more than once. A pattern cannot be recognized until we have encountered a situation (in all its various forms) several times. Only with repetition is it possible to see the pattern or cycle. Once the pattern is seen then the possibility of new insight arises.

The next time you find yourself once again in one of life’s familiar holes, and are busy saying:

"It is not my fault,"

"Don't blame me."

"Who is responsible for this?"

"They are doing it to me again."

Call for a time-out. Now, look to see how you might be responsible for your situation. Ask yourself, "What did I do to get here? What role did I play in creating the circumstances that placed me in this hole?" The terrible truth is that if you are not responsible for being in this hole once again then you are in real trouble. This is because if you are not responsible, it must mean that someone is. Maybe, it is not just one person but a group of people like your coworkers or your family. It is even possible that the entire world has decided to conspire against you. If you are truly not responsible for your current situation, and you do not like being in these recurring holes then you face a dilemma. What you have to do is find out who is making you miserable. Next, you have to change that person, or group, or the entire world to make it or them be exactly the way you want them to be so that you can be okay. Your strategy becomes to change others.

This is the trap of playing, "Let's fix you." Husbands and wives and parents and children often play this game. One spouse shows up at the counselor's office claiming that their mate is the problem. Parents bring in the child saying the child's behavior needs to change. Children say that their parents make them act this way. Employees blame the insensitive boss. The overworked boss criticizes the inefficient employees. No one is responsible for anything.

Playing "Let’s fix you" doesn’t work. Have you ever tried to change someone? Of course you have. Maybe just change a small child making them just a little more the way you want. Perhaps you have tried to make a few minor adjustments in another person’s personality. It seems that if you just gave this person a little bit of a "tune up" then you might be able to live with them. Did you succeed? The answer is, "No!" Changing others is an extremely difficult if not impossible task. The other person may actually try to cooperate but often cannot make or sustain the change. Your effort is directed in the wrong direction.

Fall into the same hole enough times and you might awaken to the true nature of the problem. You are responsible for being there. You played some role in the process. You must change. Learning this is good news. If you can find out what you are doing and stop then you can avoid these holes into which you keep falling. Having some responsibility for your problems means that you have control. All you have to do is to change yourself and the situation can improve. While this task is very hard, it is at least possible. Changing others is not.

When you find yourself once again in that same bad relationship, but with a different person, you need to realize that it is you who is making the same mistake over and over. Maybe it is time to ask yourself, "What am I doing?" "How did I get here once again?"

When you are in that same tired old argument, ask what did you do to get there? When you wake up with a hangover once again, ask what went wrong with my resolve to never drink again?

When you discover what you are doing, or why you are doing it, then change is possible. You can begin taking responsibility for yourself.

If you change yourself your experience of the situation will change. Surprisingly, if you do this, the other people you were wanting to change may change as well. You cannot change others by directly trying to influence them, but if you change yourself then they may be forced to change as well. Once you are different and can maintain that difference then others around you are given the opportunity to change in relation to you. By effectively changing ourselves we may actually change another person, a group, and perhaps, the world. But we must start with ourselves. When you start with yourself a good place to begin is with your Attitude.

Once your responsibility is seen you can change. You can begin avoiding the holes on that street of life. You are now able to see what is coming, because you know your pattern. This knowledge gives you control and you can intentionally respond to life in a different manner. A different response gives new possibilities.

When someone invites you into a familiar hole, you do not automatically enter. Your friend, who has been awaiting your arrival to leave for a party, sarcastically says, "Well, you are late again!" Your typical response is to defensively say, "Must you always complain?" Now when you see that familiar hole of an argument and a bad evening looming, you make a different choice. You realize that your friend has had the legitimate frustration of waiting and has also been worried about you. You speak to these issues and say, "I am sorry to be late. Traffic was terrible. I couldn’t get to a phone. I know that you were wondering what happened to me." Your choice allows your friend to acknowledge the concern and apprehension rather that just voice the frustration of waiting. The hole of another repetitive fight is avoided, and the evening goes well.

Finally, you change streets. You change your inner dialogue and behavior so completely that the old pattern no longer occurs. Once on the new street, you must be careful because, unfortunately, this street will have its own holes. It will have holes that you have never seen before. But you now know the rules about the "holes" in the sidewalk. The first time that you encounter one you should ask, "How am I responsible?" It may be that you are not responsible, but the sooner you ask this question, the sooner you can take charge of your life.

This process is like a spiral that leads us upward towards psychological and spiritual wholeness. The sidewalks of life do not go in a straight line. They may not be flat. They may be like a trail that winds round and round a mountain until it reaches the top. Each time you break out of an old pattern of thinking and living, you begin a new switchback that leads you ever upwards to the fundamental goal of life.

Fall into enough of the holes in the sidewalks of life and you may become whole. Through the lessons of the holes of life, you approach wholeness. Becoming whole means striving to be all that you can be. All potentialities are explored. You know what you do, and why you do it. Choices are made, and you are responsible for these choices.

The holes in the sidewalk are actually invitations to grow.

Are you open to the invitation?

Strive for Integrity, Not Popularity in Social Media

2010-07-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

This post came about as I was talking to someone recently about people I have noticed who have been rallying others to follow them and their "club" in order to be part of the cool in-group. This post was also inspired by a few that I know of who continue to bash others online in an effort to raise their ego to a higher level so they will be welcomed into in-groups that encourage such behavior. I am all for social media and the wonderful ways it can be used to connect so many people that would never have had the chance to meet offline, but there are also times when the tools of social media can be used in ruthless manners. Everyone has the right to use the tools the way they wish, but I have seen way too many cases where Twitter, blogs, Facebook, etc. can be used as weapons intended to ruin someone's reputation or spread false rumors. This is wrong, people! People can make too many assumptions about others without knowing the real facts. This is even more so the case when they have never met a person they may make assumptions about. This is a real problem in today's society as social media continues to grow. I have already talked about cyber-bullying, but there are also cases where social media is used in a way to stroke the ego of some who use it to boast about their accomplishments and how everyone else is beneath them.

It is true that in today's world, "the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths." (2 Timothy 4:3,4)

Integrity is a trait that is missing in today's use of social media in many cases. Too often, people can hide behind an online profile and talk about how great they are or how others should follow them because everyone else is falling for the same scheme. If you don't follow these "behind the curtain" manipulators, then you are considered an outsider or dismissed as not being part of the in-crowd. And in some extreme cases, if you don't do what some of these "behind the curtain" people want you to do, then they may resort to intimidation tactics or attempts to smear your reputation among their seduced followers. Matthew 7:15,16 speaks truth where it says: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits."

How does one ensure they are not led to believe in some people who use social media in a way to create a false sense of reality? How can you protect yourself? Here are a few tips:

1) Don't believe everything that one may share online about others. Never take someone's words to be the whole truth. Check with others to understand if this is truth being spoken or just assumptions not based on facts. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says: "Test everything; hold fast what is good."

2) Understand that there are some who like to share things about others just so they can raise their ego to the same level as the false prophets in this world. Some will say things just to get others stirred up since they thrive on conflict and useless banter.

As I shared earlier, I am all for the tools of social media to be used for good in building relationships and connecting with others online. The sharing of information via social media tools is unbelievable in how it can enable so many to learn from one another. That is where the usefulness of social media comes into play. What I do speak out against though is where social media can be used as weapons of destruction and to mess with people's lives spreading false rumors. Those who practice such tactics should not even be allowed to be representatives of organizations that share how to use social media in a good manner as they are in reality two-faced about how they use the tools. It is time to speak up against such negative uses of social media and call out those who use social media in such deceitful manners.

Ted Engstrom writes: “The world needs people who cannot be bought; whose word is their bond; who put character above wealth; who possess opinions and a will; who are larger than their vocations; who don’t hesitate to take chances; who won’t lose their individuality in a crowd; who will be as honest in small things as they are in great things; who will make no compromise with wrong; whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires; who will not say they do it ‘because everybody else does it;’ who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity; who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hard-heartedness are the best qualities for winning success; who are not afraid to stand for the truth even when it’s unpopular; who say ‘no’ with emphasis, even though the rest of the world says ‘yes.’”

Stand for integrity. Don't ever waver from this principle.

Is the Always-On Use of Technology/Social Media Good For Us?

2010-06-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

This post was inspired by recent articles I have read about how those who attempt to multi-task or use electronic devices (smartphones, computers, etc.) while engaging in other important tasks are really not paying attention. Harvard Business Review has had many interesting articles about the use of technology in our world today and how it could be having a toll. Tonight, I read an excellent article by Ari Herzog called "Why Social Media is Dangerous for Your Brain" that talks about how multi-tasking is a farce and we cannot perform multiple tasks at the same time successfully.

With the continued increase of social media becoming part of our lives, it is only getting worse. I am not against social media and love using it everyday to connect and interact with people. I love how these tools enable us to connect with many people and be able to share helpful information with them and vice versa. Even now while I write this blog post, my brain is trying to convince me to stop and see if any tweets came in that I should read. With continued use of social media tools like Twitter that demand our constant attention to read updates that come at us like a fire hose left on, it is no wonder we feel like we can't keep up! I feel we are a pressure-induced society and it is only getting worse as technology continues to penetrate our lives and demand our constant attention.

Many people are amazed that I don't have a smartphone, yet they see my tweets frequently throughout the day. I still have my trusty flip cellphone that I use only to make calls and occasionally send text messages. But even sending and receiving text messages is rare for me. There have been times when I have come close to getting a smartphone with my mind telling me justifications on why I need to have one. When I see others around me with their heads buried in their phones as they text, tweet, or read what is on their phones, I ask myself if I really want to feel tethered to a phone that demands my attention all the time when it is on? Truthfully, to me, it is sad to go to events where people come together to meet and everyone is still so attached to their mobile devices that they ignore each other and text/tweet away without focusing on the present moment. What once was e-mail beckoning to us to read and respond as messages came in is now tweets, Facebook posts and text messages calling out to us.

I know I am slowly learning how to un-tether myself from using Twitter, Facebook, etc. when I am working on my laptop. When you make a habit of always turning on Tweetdeck or checking tweets everyday, it can be tough to change this mindset. Much like there are books out there on how to manage our email overload, where are the books on how to manage the constant flow of social media messages that attempt to flood us? As a society, we need to stop, take a step back from afar, and look at what is going on. Do we really want to allow technology to take over our lives and force us to constantly have our brains engaged?

For those who know me personally, I am an avid hiker and one activity that I love to do with my family is head for the woods, find a trail and hike experiencing nature with all of my senses. When I was growing up, I lived in the countryside and all I did was explore the land around me riding my 80cc motorcycle to soak in the adventures that were all around me. Sure, there was the occasional chases by farmers when I would drive my motorcycle through their farm fields, but overall, it was the best times of my life. I would go fishing in the many ponds near my home and build trails with friends where we could ride our 4-wheelers and motorcycles. On weekends, I would go with my grandparents and aunts/uncles to go camping with them at nearby campgrounds. We would site around the fire and share stories just enjoying each other's presence. As a result, being in nature has always been in my blood. I make every attempt to introduce my kids to nature and bring them outdoors to experience hiking, fishing, camping, etc.

I believe all of us need to dis-engage from technology at times and experience life to its fullest. It is amazing what a few days away from technology can do for your mind! I encourage you to think about how you use technology and start to take action to not lean so much on it in your life. We all managed to survive just fine before cellphones or even the Internet came into our lives, so we should be able to manage the time we spend with technology in today's present age. I am not saying technology is bad, but asking you to think about how much it has become part of your life and how can you reduce its effect on your life with its constant beckoning call to pay attention. Who is with me?

Relationships go deeper than talking on Twitter or Facebook

2010-05-16T10:54:00.000-07:00

This post was inspired by a sermon at Olathe Christian Church where they talked about how relationships need to go deeper than social media. That sermon can be viewed here: http://bit.ly/cNqVek and it is well worth watching. One statement in this sermon caught my attention and it was "Pursue relationships proactively instead of reactively. Technology makes us relationally reactive. When someone sends you a tweet or message via social media tools, we react to it so much that we lose the art of pursuing or proactively reaching out to connect in a true manner. If a person stops sending us messages online, we move to the next person who is willing to send us messages we can react to." I think in many ways, these statements are very true. I have done this many times where someone will send me a reply on Twitter and I react to it by responding back and myself and the other person moves on to the next person who sends a message. There are times when I will have a conversation with someone on Twitter trading back and forth replies. but there is still that end point where this stops and we move on. If you think about how many followers many of us have on Twitter or Facebook, it can easily run into the hundreds or thousands. How many of these connections are taken off-line and developed into real relationships as you get to know the other person and become friends? Not very many unfortunately.

Very often, exchanges we have online with others can be interpreted in so many different ways. For example, I have tweeted or retweeted things before that others took offense to just because they thought it was meant for them or meant something that it never was intended to represent. That is how easy messages online can cause misunderstandings. I have lost opportunities to work with companies before all because they thought what I shared online was tied to them and without meeting in person to explain your side, things can get out of hand quickly and turn sour. You have to always be alert and aware what you say and how it makes an impact on others. Same thing with debates online where you may have an opinion on something and share openly your thoughts. Others may debate with you and they have that right. But, once again, what is shared online can be taken the wrong way and cause problems. Too many times, we disagree with people based on what they share online and blow them off throwing them to the side like they are a castaway. We need to remember we are dealing with real human beings online who have real feelings. There are real people behind a Twitter picture or Facebook profile.

One very good example of a local gathering that started online and has successfully transitioned to an offline activity each month is called #kcbowling on Twitter. It started several months ago with a few people who decided they wanted to meet in person to have fun talking and bowling at a local bowling alley. I found out about this monthly gathering and now go when I can to it each month. A Twtvite (short for invite via Twitter) is sent out letting people know when the event is and where it is. Anyone can come and attend it and it is a great opportunity to meet people in real life that you may talk to online on Twitter. I met many great friends just by attending this event and encourage anyone wanting to attend to check it out by searching for the hashtag #kcbowling. As recently as last night, May 15, I attended it and had a chance to bowl with a group of guys who I have only talked with online a few times and a few I had not met yet. So, it was a great opportunity to get to know people and when we reconnect online, we know more about each other each time.

Another great example of a local KC gathering that has moved from online to offline events is the Social Media Club of Kansas City or #smckc as it is known on Twitter. We have monthly breakfast events, happy hours, and lunch gatherings where people can meet in person and get to know each other better. Again, I have met many wonderful people via these events who I had only talked with online before. Many people have even found jobs via people who attended SMCKC events and they had a chance to network.

In closing, make sure you get to know people more than just trading replies online via social media tools like Twitter or Facebook. Make the effort to proactively go beyond your computer or mobile phone screen to make connections with people. Get to know them as the true person they are in real life. Don't make assumptions about who they are based only off what they share online. They may share things online that are not a true representation of their real selves and the only way you or I can find out is if we make an effort to reach out, invite them to meet offline and get to know them as the real person they are. Maybe they share things online that shows they are hurting inside or what they share is hiding an issue they are struggling with, but unless we proactively reach out and ask how they are and make an attempt to meet in person, how can we help them see through their issues?

This week, make an effort to reach out to people who you normally only talk to online and see if you can meet in person to extend your relationship or friendship. Make it real, not artificial.

Social networking - all about connections

2010-05-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

For the great majority of human history, people resided in small, intimate hunter-gatherer communities. We have been embedded in off-line social networks for much of our lives. Many times, in today's day and age, when people think of social networks, they think of Twitter, Facebook, etc. These tools enable us to connect with so many more people than we ever used to via the phone, email, or in person. But, they are just tools. The real social networking occurs when we connect with people and share in each other's lives. Those companies that find the most success in using social networking tools to reach out to people are those that take time to interact and get to know those who follow them. That is why I don't understand those companies that use Twitter and Facebook to broadcast messages. Sure, you can reach a vast number of people with messages via social networking tools, but why waste time on them if you are not going to invest time in interacting with your customers? Many companies are starting to turn social media tools into the "new direct mail" that so many have received that we tire of easily.

Besides companies, there are many people who have various reasons for how they use social networking tools in their life. I have been asked a few times by some on how I use Twitter and what is my goal in using these tools? To be honest, I don't have a set goal in using Twitter, Facebook, etc. and how I use them may differ from how others use them. I use social networking tools to connect with people and build relationships with them. I also find great joy in connecting people I know with others who could help them in some way. Example: Recently, a good friend of mine, Laura Wynn tweeted she was looking for a photographer to take photos of the Linking Women luncheon that is held every month. I was sent a direct message from Jenae Weinbrenner mentioning she is a photographer by profession. I then sent a note directly to Laura mentioning she should talk to Jenae. They connected and at the May Linking Women luncheon, Jenae took wonderful photographs that were loved by so many there. She just recently agreed to be the Linking Women permanent photographer! Congratulations, Jenae! This is what TRUE social networking is all about!

I have also had a few claim I use social networking tools as a form of online therapy since I will at times share quotes, Bible verses, or the struggles I am facing. Some believe I have built a certain persona on Twitter and should only stick to this perceived persona that others expect to see from me. But the truth is that the struggles I go through are a part of my life and it helps me to share with others what is on my mind. I have found many times that by doing this, I am able to connect with those who can relate and give me advice, tips on how to deal with things. Again, to me, this is TRUE social networking. There are many I know who have found hope or new confidence just by posting a message online about what they are going through and others reaching out to them. In fact, there are some who the only connections they may have are through social networking tools. We see this in the way Facebook is used for grandparents who stay connected to their kids and grandkids via photos, messages, video shared on Facebook.

Nicholas Christakis explores how the large-scale, face-to-face social networks in which we are embedded affect our lives: The hidden influence of social networks. We are interconnected to hundreds or thousands of specific people, most of whom we do not know. We affect them and they affect us.

I have made great friends with many via Twitter or Facebook and many reside in the Kansas City area. I would not have met them without social networking tools that enabled virtual connections first and then off-line meetings later via tweet-ups or other community gatherings through Social Media Club of KC events. So I will continue to connect with people virtually, try to get opportunities to meet them off-line if possible, and connect them with others. In reality, it is like a circle of networking in this way. Connect, meet, introduce and so on.

How have social networking tools helped you in your life? How do you use these tools? Do you blend in your personal life with your professional life online or do you keep them separate?

A Helping Hand Gives a Friend a New Job

2009-08-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

Right now, I am brimming with so much happiness for a great friend of mine who told me he got a new job today!!! One big reason I am thrilled for him is that both him and I have been through so much at our current jobs trying to live out our passion and drive (taking from @dannybrown's recent post about having passion drivers in your life). We both have a deep passion for using social media to connect and interact with customers. Unfortunately, both of us have been shut down and chewed out many times for expressing our passion or sharing information with others in our company.

We came to the point where we knew it was time to move on and pursue our passions. I always keep my eye out for job openings that may not fit me but a friend may have the qualifications for it. In this case, I had a job interview with the hiring manager for a different position and the hiring manager told me she was looking for another person to fill a search engine marketing manager position. Immediately, I thought about my friend and recommended him to her. My friend connected with the hiring manager and he had two successful interviews. All he could do now was wait and see if his interviews were good enough for him to get the job.

Well, he sent me a tweet tonight and he got the job!!! It is such a great feeling when you refer a good friend for a job and they get it. In this case, the giving of this reference to my friend and hearing his good news made my day! Think about how you can help a friend looking for a job in these tough times. Even when you are looking, finding opportunities for others can pay you back tenfold in the end.

How will you help a friend today?

Are You Engaging in Community or Shouting to an Audience?

2009-07-08T00:27:00.001-07:00

Ok, so the inspiration bug caught my attention again when I read Chris Brogan's blog post from early June about Audience or Community. Reading this post made me think about my current work situation which you can read here in more detail.

In my current job, as a direct marketing manager, one of my main tasks is to work with our Market Research group to find customers that meet a set "audience" criteria for a direct mail piece we may be working on. So, words like target market, audience, and customer segment are often used to describe who we want to send our mailings. To me, defining individuals as a group consisting of an "audience" is impersonal in a way. As Chris Brogan pointed out, "The difference between an audience and a community is which direction the chairs are pointing" and I truly believe this analogy is accurate.

In direct mail, the main point is to get a message out about your product or service and many times it is directed to a mass audience. Sure, one can add some personalization like the customer's first/last name, product owned, etc. to a direct mail piece to make it more engaging, but do you really know this individual you are attempting to influence?

That is one reason why I felt I could not continue on in my current job role. I want to build "community" with others. As Chris Brogan puts it so smoothly, "Communities empower users of products or services, or people with like-minded interests to interact." As an INFP personality type, I thrive on reaching out and interacting with individuals to get to know them better and introducing them to others who can help them. I am a connector if you want to look at it in social media terms. That is one reason I hold people like Chris Brogan, J.T. O’Donnell, Ramsey Mohsen, Danny Brown, and many other brilliant minds in high esteem for what they do in connecting with others and reaching out to enrich the knowledge of so many.

My goal is to do more in interacting with others in a "community" setting and learning what needs they have that I can help with or connect them with someone who can. I want to build community and not just shout at an audience.

What about you? Share in the comments.

New Adventures Await

2009-07-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I posted on my blog and I intend to start posting my thoughts on here more often. The lapse of time for blog posts is due in some small part to changes going on in my life right now in my current job. That is the focus for this blog post.

A long time ago, I read this blog post by David Meerman Scott and it grabbed me in such a way that it seemed to speak to what I was experiencing in my current job. My love for all things Web and using social media tools to connect and share with people online has been a true passion of mine for quite some time. One main reason may be that I found out recently that my personality type is INFP (Introvert, Intuitive, Feeler, Perceiver).

INFPs have the following traits: Warmly interested in people, service-oriented ( usually putting the needs of others above their own), loyal and devoted to people and causes, future-oriented, creative and inspirational, want to be appreciated for who they are, etc. In addition, INFPs are curious about new ideas and tend to have insight and long-range vision. This would explain why I have always enjoyed looking down the road at potential opportunities that make sense in the work I do.

As David Meerman Scott's post about "Quit Your Job" caught my attention, it made me think about where I really want to take my career in the future. This statement in David's post was ground-breaking for me to read: "If your company wants to hold you back from implementing the ideas you know are right—after you’ve explained what you want to do and why, then maybe you need to find a new company that will appreciate your talents." And in a way, that is what I am doing now.

The company where I work gave me the golden opportunity to move on to something new when a voluntary separation package deal was offered to many employees. I consider this opportunity a God-send at the right time I needed it. I will admit that what I was doing in managing direct mail campaigns was not what I really enjoyed and in a way, I did not ask for this job role due to a relocation I took to the KC area 2 years ago. But, I made the best of it to see if there was potential for me to grow into this job change. But, my heart and passion for the Web always was there and I knew deep down, I wanted to go back to doing work on the Web.

I believe I have found my true strengths with social media tools and using them to connect and share with others. Unfortunately, my love for how these tools could be used in my company to reach out to our customers was blocked with comments that "I need to focus only on my main job responsibilities" and let others in the company "who have been designated owners of social media" to do this research into opportunities to use social media.

But, knowing that I am the curious type and had my mind set on exciting opportunities to better engage and interact with our customers, I could not simply let go. Due to my continued engagement with customers and sharing information with others in the company about social media, I was ridiculed and told I was "out of line." Give me a break is what I really wanted to say, but in the end, I knew it was getting time for me to move on to a new company that valued me for who I am and for what I could bring to them in my passion.

So, I am one of those "crazy types" who has elected to move on from my current job and jump into the unknown and find other new adventures that are out there for me to grasp. I am very confident in my decision and know I will find a new job that enables me to truly engage my passion and contribute to the company that takes me in.

I hold nothing against my current employeer for not giving me the opportunities to engage in what I truly love to do. I know everything that happened to me that I may have viewed as being wrong was for the best. I would not be who I am today without going through some of those difficulties and trials. I am a stronger, focused, person with determination to go out and find that job that allows me to take my career in the direction I want to take it. No longer stepping back and letting the company steer me in the direction they feel I should go, but taking back the steering wheel and turning on a new road.

As I end this post, I leave you with this visualization that I found on the Positively Present blog (highly recommended blog to read). It is called Walk Down A Different Street:

Stage 1:
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Stage 2:
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in this same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Stage 3:
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I fall in...it's a habit...but my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Stage 4:
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Stage 5:
I walk down a different street.

Join me on this journey as I continue to post my progress in the days ahead.

The Cross - story of Arthur Blessitt

2009-04-19T15:10:00.000-07:00

Who is Arthur Blessitt and what did he do that was so significant? This and many other questions were answered when my wife and I went to see a documentary about Arthur Blessitt and his journey across the world carrying a wooden cross. Mr. Blessitt has walked around the world since Christmas Day, December 25, 1969 carrying a 12 foot cross for Jesus. He has done this for 40 years!!

Facts about Arthur Blessitt's journey:
--> Has walked now 38,102 miles (61,319 k.m.).
--> Walked through 315 countries, Island Groups and Territories.
--> Walked on all seven continents including Antarctica.
--> Been through 52 countries at war.
--> Arrested or jailed 24 times (Not for Crimes)
--> Of the journey he says, "Jesus did it, I give Him all the glory".
--> He has traveled constantly with his wife, Denise, since their marriage in 1990.

As I watched this amazing documentary and this awesome story about one man whose mission was to do the will of God and walk wherever God led him to preach the love of Jesus Christ all while carrying a large wooden cross, all I could think to myself was WOW! Arthur walked through war zones and faced danger, possible death, you name it through his 40 year journey. Yet God watched over him, kept him safe, and allowed him to complete his journey of walking through every nation in this world.

I had to smile to myself many times while watching this movie, as Arthur talked about how he had this defiant, yet gentle attitude that nothing and no one was going to tell him not to do this, if he truly believed it was God's will for him to do it. No threats of death, no persecutions, NOTHING would hold him back. Arthur's message was to spread the love of Jesus to anyone who would listen and he did so to thousands of people worldwide.

This documentary has not had wide fanfare or much advertisement about its opening, like other high-profile movies like The Passion of the Christ or Fireproof, but yet, I think that is how Arthur would like it. It slipped under the radar in a way, but it is truly a powerful, life-changing movie!

Watching what Arthur endured and his humble, gentle attitude really inspired me a great deal. It gave me hope and renewed enthusiasm for my own faith and for the calling God has on my life. I need to press on with the calling that God has placed in my heart and as long as God is with me, I will prevail. Man alone cannot stop what God wants to do in a person's life. No sharp words, criticism, or threats can stop what God has planned!

I will admit there are very close family members, relatives, and friends that I would so much love to see come to Christ and experience his never-ending love for them. There have been times that I have felt a heavy burden upon my heart after I may have tried to witness to a family member or friend about Christ and they did not respond in a loving way or ignored me. I used to let this rejection affect me in a great way and feel like a failure. But God spoke to me and said I can only plant the seed. I am not responsible for someone coming to Christ. It is that person's decision what to do with the message I give to them. God knows I have done all I can and I continue to pray for these loved ones that they will someday see that I am only trying to show them the love of God and the amazing life they can have if they only believe in Christ.

How does this personal story I share have anything to do with The Cross documentary I saw today?? It has given me a new drive and inspiration to share with others the amazing love and life-changing experiences I have experienced with Christ in my life. In days ahead, I will be sharing personal stories of things I have experienced that can only be tied back to Jesus and his touch upon my life.

The Cross is being played in select theaters and playing at the Plazzo in Overland Park at this time. If you are a Christian or just someone who may be curious about who God is and what he represents, I HIGHLY encourage you to go to see this documentary.

Read more about Arthur Blessitt and his CrossWalk journey:
http://www.blessitt.com/?q=fascinating_facts_and_figures

Time to Connect with Ag Customers Using Social Media? Yes Indeed...

2009-04-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

I thought I would share this with you since you are in the select few who knows the passion and desire I have to connect with people using social media tools and doesn't think I am crazy for having this strong desire. Well, at least you don't mention it if you do think I am nuts! :)

Awhile ago, Dave P. (a manager at JD) told me he was working with the National Agri-Marketing Association board to get a social media panel set up for the annual conference. He asked me for any recommendations on who could come to Atlanta to participate on this panel and give a perspective on social media outside of Ag marketing. I immediately sent out a message to my followers on Twitter asking for interest and received a few responses. Within a few hours, I had a list of potential speakers who were willing to do it and sent this list to Dave. Dave and his contacts reached out to a few and decided upon Kyle Flaherty to come.

Kyle told me through tweets that he was excited to attend this conference and see how marketing is done via the agricultural industry. I was excited for him as I knew he would be teaching so many there the power of social media tools and would be a great voice for social media advocacy. As I saw the tweets from Kyle as the day grew closer to when the social media panel would be held, I could sense the excitement through his notes and he even wrote a blog post about it:

http://www.engageinpr.com/2009/04/14/social-media-marketing-agri/

A few of Kyle’s tweets:

On the day of the panel discussion, I was able to sign in to TweetChat (http://tweetchat.com) and enter in the #NAMA room to watch the various tweets coming from the NAMA conference as people were getting ready to check out the social media panel session. It was very evident that there are a lot of people from the Agricultural industry who are active on Twitter, Facebook, you name it. These people are “leaders” and they are leading those who will follow later once they do, hopefully, see the power of these tools to connect with people. Throughout the panel discussion, many took pictures of the crowd and posted them on Twitter so those of us who could not be there could see what was going on. Also, the panel took many questions and they revolved around how can the Ag industry use social media tools to effectively connect and interact with the general public about the importance of the Ag industry. @mpaynknoper (http://twitter.com/mpaynknoper) started a Twitter live discussion (#agchat) on Tuesday nights and there have been two of those to date. She is a “leader” who saw the awesome opportunity to connect with fellow Ag industry professionals and farmers to share stories and examples of how others are using the various social tools to learn from one another.

If you wish to observe or interact with this growing number of Ag professionals, feel free to come to the #agchat discussion that are live on Twitter each Tuesday night from 8-10 am EDT. Sign in to TweetChat (http://tweetchat.com) using your Twitter username and password and search for #agchat or #foodchat to get into the room to share and learn.

Since I do work for John Deere, I want to make a few points about our customers. John Deere customers are some of the most loyal, die-hard people around. They are very similar to Harley owners who live and breathe the Harley brand and many people who own Harley clothing may not even have a Harley, but they identify with the brand since it is tied to their identity in some powerful way and it speaks about what they stand for or who they are as a person. The same truth is evident for John Deere customers. So many of our customers are very loyal to the brand. They have a passion that bleeds green and yellow and they love sharing and learning from other people about their equipment. All one has to do is look at the vibrant discussions and questions asked in popular forums like TractorByNet.com under John Deere to sense the deep passion and desire to connect with one another and have that feeling of community.

Screenshot from the John Deere > Buying and Pricing TractorByNet.com forum:

I track mentions of “John Deere” through Google or Twitter alerts that are sent to me via e-mail so I can see what people are saying about our brand or if some have questions that I may be able to help by sending them in the direction of someone in the company who can help. I did start interacting with customers on the John Deere TractorByNet.com forum awhile ago and the main reason why I did this is because I saw that so many on there were looking for a voice from the company about some issues they wanted to have addressed. These are loyal customers who just want to be listened to from the company and understood. They don’t want to be looked at as only a person that the company can sell a piece of equipment to and then forgotten. Many praises go to our John Deere dealers who do amazing work in connecting and helping our customers before and after a sale.

One simple question I posted on the TractorByNet.com JD forum said the following: What encourages you to buy a John Deere? All I wanted to do was see the stories and understand what made customers love what the John Deere brand brought to them. As you can see, this question had 79 replies and over 7,000 views alone. They absolutely loved this type of question so they could share story after story of how they grew up on a farm with John Deere equipment or how a fellow farmer told them about the equipment, etc.

Some of the stories:

John Deere customers love the connection and shared experiences that so many have had in using the equipment. As someone once told me, farmers were the “original social networks” when they met in coffee shops and talked about farming, etc. This is so TRUE!

So, it is only natural that as more farmers and Ag professionals start using the social media tools, they are starting to see the tremendous value there is in connecting online with one another and continuing the tradition of the original social network.

-----Original Message-----
From: David P.
Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 11:22 AM
To: Van Baale Mark
Subject: Thank you

Hey Mark
Thanks for getting Kyle to serve on our panel today. He was great! Super session...standing room only crowd that did not want to leave. The movement grows!
Dave

WE PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM THIS EASTER

2009-04-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

If there ever was a test of our faith – if there was ever a test of the motives of our worship – it is when a storm rolls into our lives. Sometime God calms our storms. Sometimes he chooses to ride them with us. He rode the raging storm with my family and I that we encountered 3 years ago this Easter when my Dad got extremely sick and was in the hospital for several months, many of them in intensive care. All we could do was place our faith in God and pray for God’s will to be done. I share this story with each of you with hope that you will read it and turn to God in your time of need...

It all started on April 11, 2006 when my Dad was admitted to the local hospital with shortness of breath and severe stomach pain. By the next day, April 12, it only got worse and he was moved to a hospital in Des Moines, IA. For several months afterwards, we went throught a very emotional rollar coaster of ups and downs as the doctors tried every test, everything they could think of to find out what the illness was that attacked my Dad's body. During this same time, Dad's organs started shutting down, he was on the respirator 100% of the time, and the doctors were starting to lose hope. They started to prepare for what they truly believed was the end coming up for my father.

The reality of what could indeed happen soon occured on April 26, 2006. Here is an email I sent to co-workers explaining what was happening. These are the exact words I wrote in the deepest despair I was facing at that moment...

"I write this email at a time where everything has turned upside down on us and went 180 degrees the other way. Late yesterday afternoon, I received a call from my Mom to rush to the hospital as my Dad was bleeding heavily from his stomach and they could not get it stopped. By the time I got there, they had managed to get enough blood transfused into him so he was not losing as much.

But, we were told late tonight the seriousness of the situation. Dad is in a very dire situation right now. They are at a point where there is not much they can do. Dad is bleeding from his stomach from multiple sources caused by complications of the pneumonia that he has been fighting for over 2 weeks now in the hospital. All we can do now is pray and hope the bleeding stops or stops long enough so he can be stable enough to possibly go into emergency surgery. The only problem is that he is not stable enough at this point to go into surgery. Right now, they said he has multiple organs that are starting to shut down.

I can't begin to express all of the feelings I have right now. There is so much uncertainty and fear for what is ahead. But, at the same time, I feel peace since I know God is in control, no matter how hard it is to deal with this helpless feeling.

All I ask from all of you is continued prayer that somehow, through a miracle, the bleeding will stop. My faith and support from family/all of you is my main source of comfort at this time."

It only became more real of what may happen on April 28, 2006 when I sent this email to co-workers...

"The last 48 hours has been unbelievable. When I wrote the last e-mail, they had given us the message that Dad was very near to dying. He was bleeding profusely from his stomach and it was not stopping. We have a massive covering of prayer over my Dad and somehow, the bleeding has stopped for the moment. Praise the Lord for this window of hope!!

Yesterday morning, the doctors came to us and told us that it was time to call extended family to come, since they did not know how long Dad would be able to hold on. We called family and my wife and son came also. Yesterday was a very difficult day, as we all prayed continuously and family met with Dad. The doctor also told us in his experience, he has never seen anyone come out of such dire circumstances and really did not give us much hope. But, we also know we have a God who is in control and can do great wonders if it is his will. We have placed our trust in God and I have peace with whatever God wants to do with Dad's life. Whether that is to save him and heal him or take him home to be with Jesus. I pray very much for Dad to turn around and be able to make it through, but I know it is in God's hands. This morning, the doctor told us he was surprised that Dad made it through the night. But, we are not, since we know God is there with him and sustaining him. Dad is on 100% ventilator support which means he is not breathing on his own at the moment and most of his organs have shut down for the time being. But, his heart rate is still pretty strong and his body temperature is stable. Those are very encouraging things, but I still know how delicate the situation is. He is still right on the edge, but fighting strong.

Please pray for healing and for Dad to turn around. I know this can still happen, if God has plans for him still here on earth. My faith is still very strong and I have felt God's presence throughout this ordeal."

The doctors gave up hope and told my Mom, sister, and me that we needed to face reality that Dad was not going to make it and it was decision time to let him go. BUT, his heart was still beating strong and we knew without a doubt that if it was God's time to let him go, he would allow it to happen in His time. We said we would not let go and we stood by that decision. As each day went by from that point forward, Dad got stronger and stronger each day.

It is amazing to me how much power and peace you can get from God when you are on your knees before God praying for a miracle to happen like I did when we were told back in April 2006 that Dad was not going to make it. We surrendered the situation completely to God and trusted that he would do what was necessary according to his will. To praise God even in the midst of storms that are thrown our way is truly humbling, but God is near us during those times and he longs to hear our prayers.

My Dad did make it through and he came home on September 22, 2006 (5 months after he was first admitted). It was God's will to save Dad to use him for greater purposes that he has planned for Dad. Maybe it is to show that God can still heal today and perform miracles. My Dad is truly a miracle.

Now, I know there may be a few readng this post and you are saying to yourself, how come God didn't save my parent, relative, etc. who may have been in a similar situation as my Dad. You have every right to question why this was the case. This is normal after you hear how God saved someone's life and not someone else close to you.

With this being Easter, I do want to let you know that God has done something for YOU that is a miracle in its own right. He SAVED YOUR LIFE. He died on the cross to cleanse you of your sins and allow you to live with him forever. In my Dad's case, Dad has used his new lease on life to be a "minister of God" and tell anyone willing to listen about what God did in his life. God wants YOU to feel his presence in whatever you are facing today. It could be a job loss, death of a loved one, uncertainty for the future, anything. The world we live in now is filled with anxious, nerve-wracking moments everyday. But, please hear my words... DON'T GIVE UP!! God did not give up on my Dad 3 years ago when everyone, except my family and God, had given up hope. We were flat out told that NO ONE had ever come back from such dire situations to live. BUT, we knew that GOD was greater than what was facing my Dad and he showed his power in an almighty way. I went down on my knees and cried out to God for his intervention. I gave up all control I thought I had to Him to allow him to do his will. When you get down on your knees and lift up whatever is pressing on your heart to God, he listens and will respond in his way. All you need to do is trust in Him.

This Easter, I wanted to share this very personal story with each of you as I felt God pressed it upon my heart to do it in this way on my blog. On Easter, we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ who died on the cross and rose from the dead to GIVE US LIFE.

God wants to give you a "resurrection" of some kind to help you rise up from whatever you are facing and face the future with confidence and trust that you will make it with God's help. Please turn to God in your hour of need.

Someone once told me: "Nothing ever grows on the tops of the mountains. The real beauty that God has to offer is always found in the valleys." The valleys that we experience in life are the places where we really grow.

There was one song that my family turned to and it truly carried us through this whole ordeal with my Dad. I have posted the link to this song for you and the challenge you may be facing in your life right now.

Believe in its words: We Praise You In This Storm.

Don't Let Others Attempt To Crush Your Spirit And Passion

2009-02-27T09:37:00.000-08:00

I was listening to a tape I have that is a speech given by Frank Peretti, author of several great books, who was talking with students and parents about a book he wrote called The Wounded Spirit. He gave this speech at a conference a few months after the Littleton, Colorado school tragedy. The focus of the speech: He told his personal story about how he grew up in school with kids picking on him, bullying him, and even years later, the hurt and pain that wounded his spirit still affected him to a degree. I could relate to him so well since I suffered through many wrongdoings from kids as I grew up and even today, there are incidents in the workplace that can affect a person. Sadly, it still seems to continue in the workplace.

I have a whiteboard in my cube where I write things that come to mind or things I read that inspire me.

Today's message is: "A man's spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?"

Its message is primarily to those at work who believe they can tell me how I should behave, what I should think about, and how I should act so I please them. Do you want to know one reason why some people rebel or go up against people who insist they need to like certain things? Because many of those who rebel have a wounded spirit that they still carry with them. NO ONE should have to put up with others, no matter their title or rank in a work setting, who want to see someone do things that they feel this person should just accept. Each person is unique in how God made them and we should be accepted for what makes us tick, what makes us passionate, and what career path we want to take.

People say you learn what your purpose is in life over time as God reveals it to you. As I listened to the tape of "The Wounded Spirit" speech, I could sense something tugging at my heart. Yes, I can relate to the topic of people trying to run you over at work since I have lived it in the last 6 months at my company. My spirit has been crushed numerous times by those who insist they are only doing it to help me succeed and/or for my own benefit. Explain to me how putting me in front of HR and saying that I have been out of line in suggesting ideas for how we could benefit from interacting with customers is right. Explain to me how having your boss and his boss constantly watching your every move and getting on your case every time you talk to someone or share something that relates to your passion is right. Explain to me why certain people in the company who believe they have all the answers or are the "experts" feel it is right to call you out and make it public knowledge that how you are doing things is wrong.

I have been in marketing for over 8 years now and I know that in marketing, the main mindset engrained in people's minds is that our main objectives are to push marketing messages out to people we feel would benefit from hearing about our products and keep doing this same practice. Do it via direct mail, TV ads, radio ads, website content, magazine ads, brochures, etc. Just keep pushing our message out there about why people need to consider our brand. We don't want to hear from our customers about your true needs. We know your needs and you NEED to get our product is the company's perspective.

I may be a weird, unique person in a marketing role who has a different mindset that has come into play over the last 2 years. This new mindset is one reason why I have struggles at work and conflicts with those who insist my way of thinking is wrong. It is part of my DNA to help people in life. As social media has come onto the scene more and more, I have seen the tremendous value and benefits of embracing the tools that enable social communication to happen. I can see with clarity the value of using tools like Twitter, blogs, social networking communities, etc. to reach out and connect with customers who own our products. We have people who LOVE the equipment we sell with a passion like none other. Much like Harley owners, they want to wear our brand name and proudly proclaim they are tied to our brand. So, the question I keep asking to people at work is WHY are we not reaching out to them, allowing them to share their stories, and sharing their love for the brand so others can see that our company cares about what its customers think and feel. I want to so badly be in a role to reach out to these passionate customers, talk with them, and allow them to share their stories.

I read an article the other day that was so right on the money. Before you introduce or try to persuade people in a corporation to consider new technologies (social media, etc.), first there has to be openness and willingness in the company culture to try new things. Resistance in company culture is the number one reason why many well-meaning, passionate individuals are shut out and or told to shut up about what they love to share. Until management embraces these new technologies and really understands the true value of the tools out there to connect with real customers, the same "we have always done things this way" mentality will continue. And the spirit of those who really want to help companies move into the next frontier of two-way communication with customers will once again be crushed.

No matter the HR meetings, constant discussions about my perceived "behavioral problems," and meetings about how I am tarnishing the department or my superior's self-images, I would not do anything any different. I am only expressing what is true to me and who I am. I will not allow others to attempt to crush my spirit.

YOU are Great...Find out Why

2009-01-26T00:03:00.000-08:00

YOU are Great

Inspiring quote on perseverance

2009-01-24T21:08:00.000-08:00

“When you want a thing deeply, earnestly and intensely, this feeling of desire reinforces your will and arouses in you the determination to work for the desired object. When you have a distinct purpose in view, your work becomes of absorbing interest. You bend your best powers to it; your give it concentrated attention; you think of little else than the realization of this purpose; you will is stimulated into unusual activity, and as a consequence you do your work with an increasing sense of power.” -Grenville Kleiser

Inspiring quotes for the day

2009-01-17T22:08:00.001-08:00

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” -Mahatma Gandhi

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people that have come alive.” -Harold Whitman

Inspiring passage for 2009

2009-01-01T00:53:00.001-08:00

I came across this passage by George Bernard Shaw that inspired me and I wanted to share it with all of you.

In 2009:
To be used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one…I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brithly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

Happy New Year 2009 Tweeps!

2008-12-31T22:06:00.001-08:00

This is my first post of 2009 and I wanted to first look back on 2008 and thank the following people who I got to know on Twitter and other social media sites and I look forward to getting to know them even better in 2009...

Everyone in the Social Media Club KC group who I have met to date. Each one of you has been a pillar of support for me in 2008 for many ups and downs I have experienced and you keep me focused on pushing forward into 2009. I cannot thank each of you enough for your friendship:
@lacajag
@kayhaswings
@ZenaWeist
@EdRoberts
@Duckman1221
@TechGuyTom
@ZachIsHere
@chrisculbertson
@BuckSommerKamp
@teedubya
@lqualls4444
@simonkuo
@banky
@chriskovac
@average_jane
@jennbailey
@i_am_me
@derek

For the following people, I know them through meeting on Twitter and even though I have yet to meet you in person, I already know I count you as friends! Many of your tweets to me offered words of encouragement and support in 2008! Thank You!
@JGoldsborough
@saramiller
@chrisbrogan
@justinu84
@AnneHaynes
@mdd044
@dhuett
@brainb
@KyleFlaherty
@JasonWalls
@Marti_L
@michaelgass
@BeverlyMacy
@marcthollander
@PressReleasePR
@astrout
@diannahuff
@Tykerman1
@MissMotorMouth
@TheDLC
@DMASocialMedia
@marketingweasel

For the following people, we are fellow co-workers at the company we all work for and I have the utmost respect for each of you for starting out on Twitter last year and being some of the first risk-takers at our company to see what social media is all about and what it can do for our company. We are the ones who will carry our company into the new year as leaders in what we do. I am honored to know each of you. Rock on into 2009!
@scalden
@ev17389
@hollykm

For the following people I got to meet through the Highlight Midwest conference held in Kansas City, I got to experience firsthand all of the awesome work each of you is doing in the social media space. All of you are taking Omaha or Des Moines by storm and I love seeing innovative, risk-taking people like yourselves with a passion for what you do. Keep rocking into 2009!
@secos
@jjsnyc
@nathantwright
@BrettTrout
@jameseliason
@TheBrandChef
@hillabean
@abrudtkuhl
@aaronwebb
@miketempleton
@dustyd
@LizaK
@danielshipton

For the following person, I met you through Twitter of all places when I was following tweets for "John Deere" and came across your tweet about starting a job there. As we have tweeted and talked via IM, I have got to know you well and I treasure your chats and support.
@planetandrea

For the following people, all of you are involved with agricultue in some manner and for you to be involved on Twitter or other social media sites tells me you are leaders in the ag industry and will continue to be so in 2009. It is leaders like you that will be the influencers for others to get on board with social media in 2009
@JYMATS
@czimmerman
@Tykerman1
@AgJobNetwork
@johnrwalter

For the year 2009, I look forward to meeting many more Tweeps and getting to know you.

Did You Know 3.0: Globalization & The Information Age

2008-12-07T23:15:00.000-08:00

I found this YouTube video via a post on the Career Hub Blog site. Truly amazing statistics presented during the 5 minute video.

Some that stood out:

Years it took to reach a market audience of 50 million:
Radio - 38 years
TV - 13 years
Internet - 4 years
iPod - 3 years
Facebook - 2 years

Nature Of Excellence - inspiring video

2008-12-07T21:31:00.000-08:00

I originally found this video clip on the www.annehaynes.com website. Thanks Anne for sharing! What an inspiring video!

We don't have to be Excellent to get started, but we do have to get started to be Excellent. Inspiring images and words that will stir your mind and heart.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/613857/nature_of_excellence/

The Interview with God

2008-12-01T00:26:00.001-08:00

I came across this amazing, awesome video presentation called "The Interview with God" late last night when I was anxiously still up awaiting my return to work after a long Thanksgiving weekend. I was blessed by it and I pray that you will be too.

I plan on viewing both of the presentations when I am feeling down or stressed. Just viewing the awesome scenery along with the words and music will bring peace and calm to you.

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/popup-frame.html

Also, enjoy the Pathways to Peace video presentation:

http://www.pathways-to-peace.com/popframeset.html

May God Bless You!

Freedom and Boundaries - Why God is Allowing this Burden in my life right now

2008-11-26T10:05:00.000-08:00

Wow, God always is looking out for me and lately, I have felt wronged when I received my latest performance management review and I was told that I pretty much didn't do much positive things in the last year according to my manager. I thought to myself, Gee thanks boss for nothing. It made me angry and rebellious in nature. I was sent his comments yesterday and as I read through them, I thought how could he say these things to me!! It felt like an attack on me and it made me feel like rebelling. I won't take it anymore is what I thought. Tired of being trampled on by him and others and made to look foolish. Yet, I read this devotional for today and know that God sent it for a reason and for me to read it.

In the devotional, it says the following: "Each of us must have freedom and boundaries in our work life. Whenever you are hired for a job, you must have the freedom to make certain decisions. You must have the authority to manage things within your area of expertise. You must also have limits within your area of responsibility. You need to know where those limits are and stay within them. Both freedom and boundaries are always under the umbrella of God's authority and our authorities at work."

Note the bold text (emphasis mine). I need to know where my limits are in my responsibilities and stay within them. Are you serious, God? So, God, you are telling me that I have limits in what I should be doing in my job and if I go outside of my main job responsibilites, then I am asking for trouble? That sure would explain why I was docked in my year-end review for not listening and obeying what my manager said I needed to do. Wow, I did rebel against what I was told and now I am paying the price. It hurts and it is no fun when we rebel and make a situation worse than what it would have been if we only would have listened to authority and submitted.

Later in the devotional, it says: "You and I are tempted every day to go beyond our God-ordained boundaries. It all represents rebellion toward God." I can relate to this for sure. I mean, come on, I see opportunities for our department to reach out and connect directly with our customers and prospects. Why can't we engage with them on an online community forum? Why do I have to stop when told to do so just because a few people are uneasy about what I am doing? Can't everyone see the benefits looking at us if we only would try new ways of marketing? Why can't I lead this charge into social media? Why do I have to let another group lead this charge? It is just not fair! Come on God, can't you see this decision for me to not talk about or share thoughts on social media with others here at work is killing me? What about ME? What about my wants and needs? What about my career?

Finally, the devotional ends with this statement: "Ask God to show you His freedom and boundaries for your life. These are meant to enhance your life, not hinder it."

So, what I really need to do to find "life" in Christ is to let go of my wants, needs, and selfish ambitions. If I want to live my life like Jesus and be a witness to others through my actions and words, then I need to be broken down by God and stay within my limits at work. That is the only way I am going to find true freedom. Through the cross, I will find grace and freedom. Amen.

Freedom and Boundaries
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman

Wednesday, November 26 2008:

"Now the serpent was craftier than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, 'Did God really say, "You must not eat from any tree in the garden"?'" - Genesis 3:1

God is big on giving man freedom and boundaries-freedom to manage what He has entrusted to us, boundaries to protect us from evil. The boundaries in the Garden of Eden were not set for the purpose of limiting Adam. Man got into trouble when he questioned those boundaries. God had provided everything he would need for life. He also entrusted man with responsibility to manage and work the Garden. God gave him freedom in that responsibility. God knows we were made to express ourselves creatively through our work.

Each of us must have freedom and boundaries in our work life. Whenever you are hired for a job, you must have the freedom to make certain decisions. You must have the authority to manage things within your area of expertise. You must also have limits within your area of responsibility. You need to know where those limits are and stay within them. Both freedom and boundaries are always under the umbrella of God's authority and our authorities at work.

Jesus understood these boundaries. When He was tempted for 40 days by the devil after being baptized, He was challenged by satan to go outside His freedom and boundaries. (See Matthew 4:1-11.) Satan said that He had the power to turn a stone into bread. Jesus was hungry and easily could have justified using His power to feed Himself. However, Jesus understood He could do nothing outside the boundaries of God's will for His life. It was God's will for Jesus to be tempted and to withstand the temptation. God was showing His Son that "man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Mt. 4:4b).

You and I are tempted every day to go beyond our God-ordained boundaries. Whether it is solving financial problems that have arisen through debt, making wrong decisions due to pressure, or manipulating someone in order to achieve our ends, it all represents rebellion toward God.

Ask God to show you His freedom and boundaries for your life. These are meant to enhance your life, not hinder it.

Born to Fly!

2008-11-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

This posting is originally from the website Inspire Me Today. I was so inspired (pun intended) by reading it that I wanted to post here for all of you to enjoy:

You can do it! Don’t listen to the naysayers, those that haven’t done what you’re trying to accomplish, or those who never will. You are the only one who knows the dream in your heart. Don’t listen to the voice in your head that doubts the passion of your heart. The heart is always right, even though the head can sometimes appear quite convincing. That passion was put there for a reason. Honor it. Treasure it. Listen to it! Follow where it leads you without question.

The road may be a new trail and the path may appear bumpy. You might be scared and even feel afraid, but you know deep in your heart that the fear isn’t real. It’s just your body experiencing something new and the mind starting to play survival tricks with you all over again. That voice of fear may come in handy if a tiger is chasing you, but not today. Today is the day for the dreamer in you to surface. So wake up your inner dreamer. Give your inner dreamer permission to shout its message to you and shine! Listen to what you hear if you’re scared. For when the passion is louder than the fear, you’ll succeed. You can do this. I believe in you! You’ve done things scarier than this before and you’ve lived through those experiences too. So go for it!

Walk right on up to that ledge, stand on the edge and look down at your knees knocking, your whole body trembling, and don’t mistake the excitement and anticipation of your experience for fear of the unknown. Feel the adrenaline coursing through your body, and then, when your rational mind least expects it, jump! Leap into the unknown knowing that it’s the only way for you to achieve your dream. Jump into your future. The ledge is no place for dreamers. You were born to fly. Jump and let those shiny wings of yours do what they were made to do. Embrace the adventure called LIFE and soar. I know you can do it, for I’ve seen your wings. I know that they’re there waiting to unfold into the glory of who you really are.

Sometimes when you’re not looking I see them try to poke out of the confines your mind has placed around them. Trust me when I tell you that you can fly. If you don’t believe in yourself yet, trust what I tell you and allow me to believe in you until you see it for yourself. And when you believe it, you’ll see it. And if you’re not ready to believe it quite yet, just pretend with me for just a bit, until your own belief grows so strong that no ledge can ever hold you back.

You were born to soar with the eagles. So come with me. Bring your dream into your mind. Feel the excitement. Taste the fear- and jump anyway! I’ll be there to fly with you, wingtip-to-wingtip, soaring over the mundane and the mediocre, the boring and the predictable. Woohoo! Doesn’t that feel good to stretch your wings, your limits and the boundaries of your mind and allow what’s in your heart to just burst forth with enthusiasm and say “YES!” to the dream? Go for it! Dip a little to the left, bank through that turn and whoa, watch out for that thermal. This breeze up here is strong and sometimes unpredictable, but we can handle it. You can do this. After all, it’s your dream and you were born to fly!

Reference: http://www.inspiremetoday.com/gail/2008/11/born-to-fly/

Embrace the Groundswell or Else

2008-11-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

I have been going through a tough period in my life recently due to some struggles at work. Mainly has to do with some backlash I received from interacting with some customers online that I was only trying to help and provide a voice to them from my company. I came across this article that spoke volumes about how companies should not be banning or detering employees who want to use social networks to reach out. They should embrace the groundswell.

The typical knee-jerk reaction taken by many organizations when faced with the groundswell is to put a stop to it and tear down the people who embraced it. Sad to see since there are many well-meaning employees who are passionate about reaching out and providing information to customers. If you think about it, customers are the ones who help us have the jobs we have. Why would we not want to interact with them and help?

In the attached link that opens a pdf file of the article, it says the following: " For a start, companies need an attitude adjustment to recognize "symmetrical participation," or the capacity for the receiver to also become a sender of information, as Clay Shirky puts it in his book Here Comes Everybody. In the old media era, information was asymmetrical —from sender to receiver. "

http://tinyurl.com/5qxk88

Be the Left Tackle on Your Team

2008-10-27T12:32:00.001-07:00

Today, I received an excellent piece of advice from someone I trust. I was told to think about a football team. Think of myself as the left tackle on this team. When we huddle before the play, what would the team think if I said to the team that I had an idea on the type of play we could run. Try this play since I think it will work. First off, the quarterback may not like the idea that I decided to butt in and give suggestions on what we could do better. It could come across wrong to the quarterback since his left tackle seems to think the team should try another approach. He is the quarterback and is expected to lead the team. Everyone else on the offense puts their trust in the quarterback and his playcalling, even if they disagree with the play selection. As the left tackle, it is my job to do what the quarterback decides to do and play with the team. Protect the quarterback and do my job to the best of its ability to hold off the opposition.

That is the way I need to think from this point forward. Play with the team and do my job as the left tackle.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world

2008-09-14T14:06:00.000-07:00

With the name of this blog being appropriately named "We Were Meant To Live," I intend to write out thoughts, ideas, or musings that God places in my mind in this space. Recently, the church I attend is on a capital campaign mission where the focus is on "Giving God A Chance" and today's message really grabbed a hold of me and made me think of what could happen if I really did give God a chance to show what he is capable of doing? Our church is on a 8 week pilgrimage to pray, meet in weekly home small groups, and think upon how God intends to work through us to reach our goal of our own church building someday.

Our pastor really hit it on the head when he said that this capital campaign is not just a time for all of us to think about how we can raise the funds necessary to meet our goal that we want to reach in 2 years towards a new building. It is a time to give God a chance in our lives to see the wonders he can do if we give Him the chance.

God grabbed my heart during today's message and spoke to me in such a way that it gave me a uprising in my heart that I have not experienced in quite some time. God was telling me that maybe if I give Him a chance, I can do the thing he placed on my heart. I think what he was telling me is similar to what the organization "Be The Change" is doing with Service Nation. Service Nation launched on September 11 and their mission is to to create a new era of service and civic engagement in America, an era in which all Americans will work together to try and solve our greatest and most persistent societal challenges. It is a grassroots movement to unite everyone with the goal to serve one another. On September 27, it is their vision to have a nationwide "Day of Action" to demonstrate the impact that service has – and could have - upon our country and the power of citizens to create large scale change.

On September 28, our own church, New Journey, will be taking part in "Church Has Left the Building" service day to go out in Olathe, Kansas to serve the community. We will be partnering up with Indian Creek Community Church to do this work.

I really believe that much more can be done beyond just the Service Nation Day of Action and the "Church Has Left The Building" campaigns. Taken from the Service Nation website, service to one another:

- Builds community among people, regardless of their race, gender, or socioeconomic status.
- Allows us to participate in something bigger than ourselves.
- Demonstrates that our commonalities as a people are greater than our individual differences.
- In the act of transforming our communities for the better, we end up transforming ourselves.

I challenge all of us to think how we can give God a chance in serving one another. As I pray and think upon what God is revealing to me through this capital campaign, I will be writing on this blog the thoughts that come to my mind. I will be praying for you too.

My challenge to you for this week is to think about how you can bless one person this week with a serving mindset. Just do something out of the ordinary for someone and do the unexpected. Use the comments section to explain what you did and what the result was. Let God move you.

The Sidewalk of Life

2008-09-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

I came across this interesting story about how we can look at life. I had to share with all of you as it grabbed my attention and made me think about how I tend to navigate down the sidewalk of life at times...

Sometimes as you walk down the sidewalk of life you wind up in a deep hole that is not of your own making.

----> If you live on the coast during hurricane season the winds and rains may have come along and damaged your house.
---->The company you work for may have gone bankrupt you lost your job.
----> You return to your car in the mall parking lot and find that someone has smashed your fender.

Any of these events can place you in a hole of darkness, despair, anger, loss, anxiety, worry, or grief. You did not have anything to do with creating the situation but you must live with it. The hole can indeed be deep and dark, and you have to struggle long and hard to climb out of it.

This is the nature of life. Some things are out of your control. Unexpected events happen. Change always occurs. The most that you can do is adapt to them the best you can. You must struggle out of the hole into which you were thrown and journey on. Hopefully, you grow from such an experience and become a more mature person who is better able to cope with other pitfalls of life.

Have you ever found yourself in exactly the same hole more than once?

How is it that you always get into the same type of conflict with the boss? He is so negative and critical and always expects so much. She makes you feel miserable.

Maybe you are in the midst of the exact "word for word" argument with your spouse for the ten thousandth time. He says this and you say that just like you always do and you fall into the hole once again.

Your son, mother, sister, or brother does that thing that they always do. It pushes your buttons and you respond as you always do. The cycle of conflict begins once again.

You cannot believe that it has happened one more time. You wonder, "Why does this always happen to me? Why do they always do this to me? When will they ever stop? Why can’t they understand what they make me do?" If other people would just "act right" life would go better. You begin to work harder and harder to get others to change.

Fall into the same hole often enough and you may come to a realization. With the frequent occurrence of the same or similar events you sense that these things do not happen by chance. Maybe this repetition is a pattern that is not just inflicted on you solely by others. Such a reoccurrence of events must mean that you are playing a role in creating them.

As we go along the sidewalk of life we all fall into holes of psychological and spiritual distress. Sometimes it seems that we were shoved. Initially, it appears that it is not our fault to be in such a situation once again. However, as we continue in the journey of life we often find ourselves falling into the same hole more than once. When we do so we are given the opportunity of recognizing that there is actually a pattern in our lives. Patterns do not exist until an event happens more than once. A pattern cannot be recognized until we have encountered a situation (in all its various forms) several times. Only with repetition is it possible to see the pattern or cycle. Once the pattern is seen then the possibility of new insight arises.

The next time you find yourself once again in one of life’s familiar holes, and are busy saying:
"It is not my fault,"
"Don't blame me."
"Who is responsible for this?"
"They are doing it to me again."

Call for a time-out. Now, look to see how you might be responsible for your situation. Ask yourself, "What did I do to get here? What role did I play in creating the circumstances that placed me in this hole?" The terrible truth is that if you are not responsible for being in this hole once again then you are in real trouble. This is because if you are not responsible, it must mean that someone is. Maybe, it is not just one person but a group of people like your coworkers or your family. It is even possible that the entire world has decided to conspire against you. If you are truly not responsible for your current situation, and you do not like being in these recurring holes then you face a dilemma. What you have to do is find out who is making you miserable. Next, you have to change that person, or group, or the entire world to make it or them be exactly the way you want them to be so that you can be okay. Your strategy becomes to change others.

This is the trap of playing, "Let's fix you." Husbands and wives and parents and children often play this game. One spouse shows up at the counselor's office claiming that their mate is the problem. Parents bring in the child saying the child's behavior needs to change. Children say that their parents make them act this way. Employees blame the insensitive boss. The overworked boss criticizes the inefficient employees. No one is responsible for anything.

Playing "Let’s fix you" doesn’t work. Have you ever tried to change someone? Of course you have. Maybe just change a small child making them just a little more the way you want. Perhaps you have tried to make a few minor adjustments in another person’s personality. It seems that if you just gave this person a little bit of a "tune up" then you might be able to live with them. Did you succeed? The answer is, "No!" Changing others is an extremely difficult if not impossible task. The other person may actually try to cooperate but often cannot make or sustain the change. Your effort is directed in the wrong direction.

Fall into the same hole enough times and you might awaken to the true nature of the problem. You are responsible for being there. You played some role in the process. You must change. Learning this is good news. If you can find out what you are doing and stop then you can avoid these holes into which you keep falling. Having some responsibility for your problems means that you have control. All you have to do is to change yourself and the situation can improve. While this task is very hard, it is at least possible. Changing others is not.

When you find yourself once again in that same bad relationship, but with a different person, you need to realize that it is you who is making the same mistake over and over. Maybe it is time to ask yourself, "What am I doing?" "How did I get here once again?"

When you are in that same tired old argument, ask what did you do to get there? When you wake up with a hangover once again, ask what went wrong with my resolve to never drink again?

When you discover what you are doing, or why you are doing it, then change is possible. You can begin taking responsibility for yourself.

If you change yourself your experience of the situation will change. Surprisingly, if you do this, the other people you were wanting to change may change as well. You cannot change others by directly trying to influence them, but if you change yourself then they may be forced to change as well. Once you are different and can maintain that difference then others around you are given the opportunity to change in relation to you. By effectively changing ourselves we may actually change another person, a group, and perhaps, the world. But we must start with ourselves. When you start with yourself a good place to begin is with your Attitude.

Once your responsibility is seen you can change. You can begin avoiding the holes on that street of life. You are now able to see what is coming, because you know your pattern. This knowledge gives you control and you can intentionally respond to life in a different manner. A different response gives new possibilities.

When someone invites you into a familiar hole, you do not automatically enter. Your friend, who has been awaiting your arrival to leave for a party, sarcastically says, "Well, you are late again!" Your typical response is to defensively say, "Must you always complain?" Now when you see that familiar hole of an argument and a bad evening looming, you make a different choice. You realize that your friend has had the legitimate frustration of waiting and has also been worried about you. You speak to these issues and say, "I am sorry to be late. Traffic was terrible. I couldn’t get to a phone. I know that you were wondering what happened to me." Your choice allows your friend to acknowledge the concern and apprehension rather that just voice the frustration of waiting. The hole of another repetitive fight is avoided, and the evening goes well.

Finally, you change streets. You change your inner dialogue and behavior so completely that the old pattern no longer occurs. Once on the new street, you must be careful because, unfortunately, this street will have its own holes. It will have holes that you have never seen before. But you now know the rules about the "holes" in the sidewalk. The first time that you encounter one you should ask, "How am I responsible?" It may be that you are not responsible, but the sooner you ask this question, the sooner you can take charge of your life.

This process is like a spiral that leads us upward towards psychological and spiritual wholeness. The sidewalks of life do not go in a straight line. They may not be flat. They may be like a trail that winds round and round a mountain until it reaches the top. Each time you break out of an old pattern of thinking and living, you begin a new switchback that leads you ever upwards to the fundamental goal of life.

Fall into enough of the holes in the sidewalks of life and you may become whole. Through the lessons of the holes of life, you approach wholeness. Becoming whole means striving to be all that you can be. All potentialities are explored. You know what you do, and why you do it. Choices are made, and you are responsible for these choices.

The holes in the sidewalk are actually invitations to grow.

Are you open to the invitation?

Credit goes to http://lessonsforliving.com/sidewalk_of_life.htm

Summary of Colorado Mountain Adventure trip with Men of Colonial

2008-08-02T22:44:00.001-07:00

The goal for this year's Colorado Mountain Adventure trip was to make it to the summit of Uncompahgre Peak in the San Juan mountain range near Lake City, Colorado. The picture at the bottom shows me on the summit of this peak. I made it to the top, but I could not have done it without the guys I hiked with who encouraged and rallied me to keep going when I wanted to give up. Hiking to the top of a 14er (14,000+) mountain is quite a challenge and at that altitude, it is even tougher to breathe and concentrate. Making it to the top was an overwhelming experience for me and taking communion at the top with everyone who made it was very special. This whole 5 day trip in Colorado was such a great time. I absolutely love the state of Colorado with the mountains and wilderness there. I have always told myself that I would love to live there someday, so you never know what could happen down the road. The drive to where we stayed was a very long one (14 hours) total, but well worth it once you get to your destination and see the beauty all around you.

Below is a picture of Uncompaghre Peak that I climbed. To get a good perspective of how much of a climb it was to the top, you can see a person on the trail in the lower right corner.