Strive for Integrity, Not Popularity in Social Media

This post came about as I was talking to someone recently about people I have noticed who have been rallying others to follow them and their "club" in order to be part of the cool in-group. This post was also inspired by a few that I know of who continue to bash others online in an effort to raise their ego to a higher level so they will be welcomed into in-groups that encourage such behavior. I am all for social media and the wonderful ways it can be used to connect so many people that would never have had the chance to meet offline, but there are also times when the tools of social media can be used in ruthless manners. Everyone has the right to use the tools the way they wish, but I have seen way too many cases where Twitter, blogs, Facebook, etc. can be used as weapons intended to ruin someone's reputation or spread false rumors. This is wrong, people! People can make too many assumptions about others without knowing the real facts. This is even more so the case when they have never met a person they may make assumptions about. This is a real problem in today's society as social media continues to grow. I have already talked about cyber-bullying, but there are also cases where social media is used in a way to stroke the ego of some who use it to boast about their accomplishments and how everyone else is beneath them.

It is true that in today's world, "the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths." (2 Timothy 4:3,4)

Integrity is a trait that is missing in today's use of social media in many cases. Too often, people can hide behind an online profile and talk about how great they are or how others should follow them because everyone else is falling for the same scheme. If you don't follow these "behind the curtain" manipulators, then you are considered an outsider or dismissed as not being part of the in-crowd. And in some extreme cases, if you don't do what some of these "behind the curtain" people want you to do, then they may resort to intimidation tactics or attempts to smear your reputation among their seduced followers. Matthew 7:15,16 speaks truth where it says: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits."

How does one ensure they are not led to believe in some people who use social media in a way to create a false sense of reality? How can you protect yourself? Here are a few tips:

1) Don't believe everything that one may share online about others. Never take someone's words to be the whole truth. Check with others to understand if this is truth being spoken or just assumptions not based on facts. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says: "Test everything; hold fast what is good."

2) Understand that there are some who like to share things about others just so they can raise their ego to the same level as the false prophets in this world. Some will say things just to get others stirred up since they thrive on conflict and useless banter.

As I shared earlier, I am all for the tools of social media to be used for good in building relationships and connecting with others online. The sharing of information via social media tools is unbelievable in how it can enable so many to learn from one another. That is where the usefulness of social media comes into play. What I do speak out against though is where social media can be used as weapons of destruction and to mess with people's lives spreading false rumors. Those who practice such tactics should not even be allowed to be representatives of organizations that share how to use social media in a good manner as they are in reality two-faced about how they use the tools. It is time to speak up against such negative uses of social media and call out those who use social media in such deceitful manners.

Ted Engstrom writes: “The world needs people who cannot be bought; whose word is their bond; who put character above wealth; who possess opinions and a will; who are larger than their vocations; who don’t hesitate to take chances; who won’t lose their individuality in a crowd; who will be as honest in small things as they are in great things; who will make no compromise with wrong; whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires; who will not say they do it ‘because everybody else does it;’ who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity; who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hard-heartedness are the best qualities for winning success; who are not afraid to stand for the truth even when it’s unpopular; who say ‘no’ with emphasis, even though the rest of the world says ‘yes.’”

Stand for integrity. Don't ever waver from this principle.

Social networking - all about connections

For the great majority of human history, people resided in small, intimate hunter-gatherer communities. We have been embedded in off-line social networks for much of our lives. Many times, in today's day and age, when people think of social networks, they think of Twitter, Facebook, etc. These tools enable us to connect with so many more people than we ever used to via the phone, email, or in person. But, they are just tools. The real social networking occurs when we connect with people and share in each other's lives. Those companies that find the most success in using social networking tools to reach out to people are those that take time to interact and get to know those who follow them. That is why I don't understand those companies that use Twitter and Facebook to broadcast messages. Sure, you can reach a vast number of people with messages via social networking tools, but why waste time on them if you are not going to invest time in interacting with your customers? Many companies are starting to turn social media tools into the "new direct mail" that so many have received that we tire of easily.

Besides companies, there are many people who have various reasons for how they use social networking tools in their life. I have been asked a few times by some on how I use Twitter and what is my goal in using these tools? To be honest, I don't have a set goal in using Twitter, Facebook, etc. and how I use them may differ from how others use them. I use social networking tools to connect with people and build relationships with them. I also find great joy in connecting people I know with others who could help them in some way. Example: Recently, a good friend of mine, Laura Wynn tweeted she was looking for a photographer to take photos of the Linking Women luncheon that is held every month. I was sent a direct message from Jenae Weinbrenner mentioning she is a photographer by profession. I then sent a note directly to Laura mentioning she should talk to Jenae. They connected and at the May Linking Women luncheon, Jenae took wonderful photographs that were loved by so many there. She just recently agreed to be the Linking Women permanent photographer! Congratulations, Jenae! This is what TRUE social networking is all about!

I have also had a few claim I use social networking tools as a form of online therapy since I will at times share quotes, Bible verses, or the struggles I am facing. Some believe I have built a certain persona on Twitter and should only stick to this perceived persona that others expect to see from me. But the truth is that the struggles I go through are a part of my life and it helps me to share with others what is on my mind. I have found many times that by doing this, I am able to connect with those who can relate and give me advice, tips on how to deal with things. Again, to me, this is TRUE social networking. There are many I know who have found hope or new confidence just by posting a message online about what they are going through and others reaching out to them. In fact, there are some who the only connections they may have are through social networking tools. We see this in the way Facebook is used for grandparents who stay connected to their kids and grandkids via photos, messages, video shared on Facebook.

Nicholas Christakis explores how the large-scale, face-to-face social networks in which we are embedded affect our lives: The hidden influence of social networks. We are interconnected to hundreds or thousands of specific people, most of whom we do not know. We affect them and they affect us.

I have made great friends with many via Twitter or Facebook and many reside in the Kansas City area. I would not have met them without social networking tools that enabled virtual connections first and then off-line meetings later via tweet-ups or other community gatherings through Social Media Club of KC events. So I will continue to connect with people virtually, try to get opportunities to meet them off-line if possible, and connect them with others. In reality, it is like a circle of networking in this way. Connect, meet, introduce and so on.

How have social networking tools helped you in your life? How do you use these tools? Do you blend in your personal life with your professional life online or do you keep them separate?