This post is the third in a series to share statements from the Stephen Arterburn book called “Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose” and my thoughts/personal stories related to what I share. In my first post, I shared one of the barriers to “reframing” in your life is stubborn resistance to other viewpoints from others and how the antidote is having a more willing heart. In my second post, I shared another barrier to reframing is justifiable resentment towards yourself or others and the antidote to it is forgiving. I am calling an audible on the third barrier that I will share with you from Blind Ignorance to one that I feel is important to discuss.
The third barrier is one that many of us can fall into easily if we are not careful. It is Arrogant Entitlement. For so many, life is all about doing things your own way. The world we live in encourages "my way" thinking. We are bombarded with ads that say you can "have it your way" and "you deserve a break today." After all, isn't it really all about us and having it our way? Most people don't rush out to do something wrong. They inch up to it. They don't just steal at work, they convince themselves they are worth more than they make and are really just taking that to which they are entitled. When we do things like this, we are framing our actions before they are ever involved with them. This arrogant thinking will start small, but will infect every area of your life and destroy your relationships and the ability to heal them. If you stay on the course of arrogant entitlement, you will always be looking for the next thing and the next person who can help you get it, and you will become a taker, a self-absorbed greedy person who use people.
If you are living in your arrogance and demanding all you feel entitled to have, you begin to live like royalty. People start to see you that way also. But that is not good news. They see you on your throne, but you don't have much of an empire to rule. To others, you are "Your Royal Highness Baby" or "Sir Brat the Prince." If you have this way of thinking, you have very high expectations of what others should be doing for you. You want from others what is "due" you, and you want it in a way that will please you. Proverbs 14:16 says: "The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with great confidence." In this careless way of life, the fool loses his close relationships as he loses himself. It is a royal way to live: royally alone, stupid and empty.
Arrogant people are missing true humility. Humility within a person's heart eliminates the "me first," "my way," "give me what I deserve" way of thinking. Humility reaches out to connect with others, appreciating them for who they are, not just what they can do for you. A humble person is not using everything within himself to further his own cause, but rather there is a desire to use whatever position to help others and meet their needs. What does the Bible say about humility? 1 Peter 5:6 says: "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you." This can be hard at times to wait upon God as "his good time" is likely a lot slower than you want, but it is essential. Rather than assert our rights or beliefs about something or someone, we need to give others the right-of-way. Humility leads to contentment and satisfaction. Your humble heart draws people to you. People are repelled by arrogance and entitlement. I will close with this story from the book that sums up the difference between arrogant entitlement and humility:
"A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert-like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed they had no other recourse but prayer. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.
The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren. Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing. Finally, the first man prayed for a ship so he could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked on his side of the island. He boarded the ship and decided to leave the second man on the island.
As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?" "My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered, so he does not deserve anything."
"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings." "Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"
"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."
How can you be more humble in how you treat others? Think upon this and reflect on your own life. See where you can turn from arrogant entitlement to humility. You will truly be blessed if you do.
In the next post, we will talk about one reframing device that would benefit you more than others and it involves the most challenging, but most valuable and powerful number in the world...
The third barrier is one that many of us can fall into easily if we are not careful. It is Arrogant Entitlement. For so many, life is all about doing things your own way. The world we live in encourages "my way" thinking. We are bombarded with ads that say you can "have it your way" and "you deserve a break today." After all, isn't it really all about us and having it our way? Most people don't rush out to do something wrong. They inch up to it. They don't just steal at work, they convince themselves they are worth more than they make and are really just taking that to which they are entitled. When we do things like this, we are framing our actions before they are ever involved with them. This arrogant thinking will start small, but will infect every area of your life and destroy your relationships and the ability to heal them. If you stay on the course of arrogant entitlement, you will always be looking for the next thing and the next person who can help you get it, and you will become a taker, a self-absorbed greedy person who use people.
If you are living in your arrogance and demanding all you feel entitled to have, you begin to live like royalty. People start to see you that way also. But that is not good news. They see you on your throne, but you don't have much of an empire to rule. To others, you are "Your Royal Highness Baby" or "Sir Brat the Prince." If you have this way of thinking, you have very high expectations of what others should be doing for you. You want from others what is "due" you, and you want it in a way that will please you. Proverbs 14:16 says: "The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with great confidence." In this careless way of life, the fool loses his close relationships as he loses himself. It is a royal way to live: royally alone, stupid and empty.
Arrogant people are missing true humility. Humility within a person's heart eliminates the "me first," "my way," "give me what I deserve" way of thinking. Humility reaches out to connect with others, appreciating them for who they are, not just what they can do for you. A humble person is not using everything within himself to further his own cause, but rather there is a desire to use whatever position to help others and meet their needs. What does the Bible say about humility? 1 Peter 5:6 says: "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you." This can be hard at times to wait upon God as "his good time" is likely a lot slower than you want, but it is essential. Rather than assert our rights or beliefs about something or someone, we need to give others the right-of-way. Humility leads to contentment and satisfaction. Your humble heart draws people to you. People are repelled by arrogance and entitlement. I will close with this story from the book that sums up the difference between arrogant entitlement and humility:
"A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert-like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed they had no other recourse but prayer. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.
The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren. Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing. Finally, the first man prayed for a ship so he could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked on his side of the island. He boarded the ship and decided to leave the second man on the island.
As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?" "My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered, so he does not deserve anything."
"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings." "Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"
"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."
How can you be more humble in how you treat others? Think upon this and reflect on your own life. See where you can turn from arrogant entitlement to humility. You will truly be blessed if you do.
In the next post, we will talk about one reframing device that would benefit you more than others and it involves the most challenging, but most valuable and powerful number in the world...
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