In all your ways acknowledge the Lord, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6
The above verse reminds me that as I continue to focus on the Lord in all I do and rely on Him to help me through life, I can be rest assured he will make my path straight in front of me. I may not always know where the path is taking me or know what is the meaning of the scenery along the path until later, but God knows and will intend it for my own good.
At this point in my life, there is a lot going on. I am still looking for full-time employment with someone that embraces the uniqueness I bring in connecting and interacting with others via social media. What would I like to do? Well, I really do enjoy using social media tools to connect with people and help them whether that is in customer service, building relationships with customers or teaching them the ropes on social media. I could see myself in a variety of jobs as a community manager, social media consultant, or even in managing websites/content since I have experience in that area too.
While I continue to look for full-time employment, I am keeping myself quite busy in a few groups. One group was started in July with the intention of bringing together individuals and businesses in the Johnson County area and around Kansas City who wish to learn how to use social media tools/networking to connect and interact with their business or personal brand. The name of this group is the Kansas City Social Media Group. It was started in Johnson County, KS since a breakfast group focused on social media outside of the successful Internet Marketing and Social Media Meetup group was needed. Many members of the SMCKC group had expressed interest in a Johnson County SM group. We were approached by Houlihan's who graciously offered their Olathe location to host us and offered the entire restaurant for us to use on the morning of our breakfast. They also serve us a few wonderful items from their weekly Sunday brunch for breakfast on the day of our meeting. In fact, they have a great deal on their Sunday brunch for their social media friends that you can take advantage of during August. We have been very happy with the attendance at the first two KCSM breakfast meetings to date. We had 35 people show up at the July breakfast and around 75-80 people showed up at the August 12 breakfast! For now, we are only meeting for breakfast once a month at the Olathe Houlihan's with this group, but much more could be done with this group as time goes on. Tweetups, meetings outside of breakfast, etc. could happen. There is a planning committee consisting of myself, Shawn Gallagher, Chris Dowell and Marty Taggart that works together to plan and make the KCSM group meetings happen. I could not do it without all of their tremendous help and support.
Also, I was approached recently by Vicky Watson with the New Landings group to help them with their social media strategy as they continue to grow in membership. What is New Landings? At New Landings, their mission is to redefine the way their members view career transition by actively providing resources and new avenues to showcase their skills. They liberate individuals from the bounds of traditional thinking enabling them to create and engage with meaningful work. They are dedicated to the economic recovery of America's middle class. They have some awesome networking events coming up and weekly Wednesday night meetings with dynamic speakers focusing on career issues. They are also involved in a few outstanding programs coming up that will enable unemployed people take advantage of some opportunities to get involved in the workforce. What is very nice is that they list on their home page the number of "landings" or people who have landed jobs in the past year and month to date. They also show the economic contribution these new "landings" have brought to the economy as a result of them getting jobs. It goes to show that New Landings is dedicated to helping people who are unemployed and looking for their next career path. I will be co-leading the New Landings social media team with a few other New Landings members and I am very happy to lend my experience and knowledge to this group to help its members. A wonderful volunteer opportunity that I am looking forward to participate in.
Outside of these two groups, I have been spending time with my family and also taking time to think about how I can start writing more on this blog and my two other speciality blogs. Most people know I am a "chatterbox" on Twitter since I love to connect and interact with people on there, but I have also started to think how I should write more on my blogs to generate lasting content that others can read and refer to often. Twitter is great for quick tidbits to share with others and interaction, but once you tweet something, it is lost in time as more tweets come from you. Generating lasting content ensures people can take their time to read and digest what you share.
That is in a nutshell what has been going on for me lately. I plan to share more info about thoughts from my life on here as time goes on. Thanks for reading.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Sidewalk of Life
This is a copy of an article I found awhile ago and had been saving to read. Wanted to share it with you so you can read it and think upon it. Be encouraged.
Sometimes as you walk down the sidewalk of life you wind up in a deep hole that is not of your own making.
This is the nature of life. Some things are out of your control. Unexpected events happen. Change always occurs. The most that you can do is adapt to them the best you can. You must struggle out of the hole into which you were thrown and journey on. Hopefully, you grow from such an experience and become a more mature person who is better able to cope with other pitfalls of life.
Have you ever found yourself in exactly the same hole more than once?
Fall into the same hole often enough and you may come to a realization. With the frequent occurrence of the same or similar events you sense that these things do not happen by chance. Maybe this repetition is a pattern that is not just inflicted on you solely by others. Such a reoccurrence of events must mean that you are playing a role in creating them.
As we go along the sidewalk of life we all fall into holes of psychological and spiritual distress. Sometimes it seems that we were shoved. Initially, it appears that it is not our fault to be in such a situation once again. However, as we continue in the journey of life we often find ourselves falling into the same hole more than once. When we do so we are given the opportunity of recognizing that there is actually a pattern in our lives. Patterns do not exist until an event happens more than once. A pattern cannot be recognized until we have encountered a situation (in all its various forms) several times. Only with repetition is it possible to see the pattern or cycle. Once the pattern is seen then the possibility of new insight arises.
The next time you find yourself once again in one of life’s familiar holes, and are busy saying:
This is the trap of playing, "Let's fix you." Husbands and wives and parents and children often play this game. One spouse shows up at the counselor's office claiming that their mate is the problem. Parents bring in the child saying the child's behavior needs to change. Children say that their parents make them act this way. Employees blame the insensitive boss. The overworked boss criticizes the inefficient employees. No one is responsible for anything.
Playing "Let’s fix you" doesn’t work. Have you ever tried to change someone? Of course you have. Maybe just change a small child making them just a little more the way you want. Perhaps you have tried to make a few minor adjustments in another person’s personality. It seems that if you just gave this person a little bit of a "tune up" then you might be able to live with them. Did you succeed? The answer is, "No!" Changing others is an extremely difficult if not impossible task. The other person may actually try to cooperate but often cannot make or sustain the change. Your effort is directed in the wrong direction.
Fall into the same hole enough times and you might awaken to the true nature of the problem. You are responsible for being there. You played some role in the process. You must change. Learning this is good news. If you can find out what you are doing and stop then you can avoid these holes into which you keep falling. Having some responsibility for your problems means that you have control. All you have to do is to change yourself and the situation can improve. While this task is very hard, it is at least possible. Changing others is not.
If you change yourself your experience of the situation will change. Surprisingly, if you do this, the other people you were wanting to change may change as well. You cannot change others by directly trying to influence them, but if you change yourself then they may be forced to change as well. Once you are different and can maintain that difference then others around you are given the opportunity to change in relation to you. By effectively changing ourselves we may actually change another person, a group, and perhaps, the world. But we must start with ourselves. When you start with yourself a good place to begin is with your Attitude.
Once your responsibility is seen you can change. You can begin avoiding the holes on that street of life. You are now able to see what is coming, because you know your pattern. This knowledge gives you control and you can intentionally respond to life in a different manner. A different response gives new possibilities.
When someone invites you into a familiar hole, you do not automatically enter. Your friend, who has been awaiting your arrival to leave for a party, sarcastically says, "Well, you are late again!" Your typical response is to defensively say, "Must you always complain?" Now when you see that familiar hole of an argument and a bad evening looming, you make a different choice. You realize that your friend has had the legitimate frustration of waiting and has also been worried about you. You speak to these issues and say, "I am sorry to be late. Traffic was terrible. I couldn’t get to a phone. I know that you were wondering what happened to me." Your choice allows your friend to acknowledge the concern and apprehension rather that just voice the frustration of waiting. The hole of another repetitive fight is avoided, and the evening goes well.
Finally, you change streets. You change your inner dialogue and behavior so completely that the old pattern no longer occurs. Once on the new street, you must be careful because, unfortunately, this street will have its own holes. It will have holes that you have never seen before. But you now know the rules about the "holes" in the sidewalk. The first time that you encounter one you should ask, "How am I responsible?" It may be that you are not responsible, but the sooner you ask this question, the sooner you can take charge of your life.
This process is like a spiral that leads us upward towards psychological and spiritual wholeness. The sidewalks of life do not go in a straight line. They may not be flat. They may be like a trail that winds round and round a mountain until it reaches the top. Each time you break out of an old pattern of thinking and living, you begin a new switchback that leads you ever upwards to the fundamental goal of life.
Fall into enough of the holes in the sidewalks of life and you may become whole. Through the lessons of the holes of life, you approach wholeness. Becoming whole means striving to be all that you can be. All potentialities are explored. You know what you do, and why you do it. Choices are made, and you are responsible for these choices.
The holes in the sidewalk are actually invitations to grow.
Are you open to the invitation?
Sometimes as you walk down the sidewalk of life you wind up in a deep hole that is not of your own making.
- If you live on the coast during hurricane season the winds and rains may have come along and damaged your house.
- The company you work for may have gone bankrupt you lost your job.
- You return to your car in the mall parking lot and find that someone has smashed your fender.
This is the nature of life. Some things are out of your control. Unexpected events happen. Change always occurs. The most that you can do is adapt to them the best you can. You must struggle out of the hole into which you were thrown and journey on. Hopefully, you grow from such an experience and become a more mature person who is better able to cope with other pitfalls of life.
Have you ever found yourself in exactly the same hole more than once?
- How is it that you always get into the same type of conflict with the boss? He is so negative and critical and always expects so much. She makes you feel miserable.
- Maybe you are in the midst of the exact "word for word" argument with your spouse for the ten thousandth time. He says this and you say that just like you always do and you fall into the hole once again.
- Your son, mother, sister, or brother does that thing that they always do. It pushes your buttons and you respond as you always do. The cycle of conflict begins once again.
Fall into the same hole often enough and you may come to a realization. With the frequent occurrence of the same or similar events you sense that these things do not happen by chance. Maybe this repetition is a pattern that is not just inflicted on you solely by others. Such a reoccurrence of events must mean that you are playing a role in creating them.
As we go along the sidewalk of life we all fall into holes of psychological and spiritual distress. Sometimes it seems that we were shoved. Initially, it appears that it is not our fault to be in such a situation once again. However, as we continue in the journey of life we often find ourselves falling into the same hole more than once. When we do so we are given the opportunity of recognizing that there is actually a pattern in our lives. Patterns do not exist until an event happens more than once. A pattern cannot be recognized until we have encountered a situation (in all its various forms) several times. Only with repetition is it possible to see the pattern or cycle. Once the pattern is seen then the possibility of new insight arises.
The next time you find yourself once again in one of life’s familiar holes, and are busy saying:
- "It is not my fault,"
- "Don't blame me."
- "Who is responsible for this?"
- "They are doing it to me again."
This is the trap of playing, "Let's fix you." Husbands and wives and parents and children often play this game. One spouse shows up at the counselor's office claiming that their mate is the problem. Parents bring in the child saying the child's behavior needs to change. Children say that their parents make them act this way. Employees blame the insensitive boss. The overworked boss criticizes the inefficient employees. No one is responsible for anything.
Playing "Let’s fix you" doesn’t work. Have you ever tried to change someone? Of course you have. Maybe just change a small child making them just a little more the way you want. Perhaps you have tried to make a few minor adjustments in another person’s personality. It seems that if you just gave this person a little bit of a "tune up" then you might be able to live with them. Did you succeed? The answer is, "No!" Changing others is an extremely difficult if not impossible task. The other person may actually try to cooperate but often cannot make or sustain the change. Your effort is directed in the wrong direction.
Fall into the same hole enough times and you might awaken to the true nature of the problem. You are responsible for being there. You played some role in the process. You must change. Learning this is good news. If you can find out what you are doing and stop then you can avoid these holes into which you keep falling. Having some responsibility for your problems means that you have control. All you have to do is to change yourself and the situation can improve. While this task is very hard, it is at least possible. Changing others is not.
- When you find yourself once again in that same bad relationship, but with a different person, you need to realize that it is you who is making the same mistake over and over. Maybe it is time to ask yourself, "What am I doing?" "How did I get here once again?"
- When you are in that same tired old argument, ask what did you do to get there? When you wake up with a hangover once again, ask what went wrong with my resolve to never drink again?
If you change yourself your experience of the situation will change. Surprisingly, if you do this, the other people you were wanting to change may change as well. You cannot change others by directly trying to influence them, but if you change yourself then they may be forced to change as well. Once you are different and can maintain that difference then others around you are given the opportunity to change in relation to you. By effectively changing ourselves we may actually change another person, a group, and perhaps, the world. But we must start with ourselves. When you start with yourself a good place to begin is with your Attitude.
Once your responsibility is seen you can change. You can begin avoiding the holes on that street of life. You are now able to see what is coming, because you know your pattern. This knowledge gives you control and you can intentionally respond to life in a different manner. A different response gives new possibilities.
When someone invites you into a familiar hole, you do not automatically enter. Your friend, who has been awaiting your arrival to leave for a party, sarcastically says, "Well, you are late again!" Your typical response is to defensively say, "Must you always complain?" Now when you see that familiar hole of an argument and a bad evening looming, you make a different choice. You realize that your friend has had the legitimate frustration of waiting and has also been worried about you. You speak to these issues and say, "I am sorry to be late. Traffic was terrible. I couldn’t get to a phone. I know that you were wondering what happened to me." Your choice allows your friend to acknowledge the concern and apprehension rather that just voice the frustration of waiting. The hole of another repetitive fight is avoided, and the evening goes well.
Finally, you change streets. You change your inner dialogue and behavior so completely that the old pattern no longer occurs. Once on the new street, you must be careful because, unfortunately, this street will have its own holes. It will have holes that you have never seen before. But you now know the rules about the "holes" in the sidewalk. The first time that you encounter one you should ask, "How am I responsible?" It may be that you are not responsible, but the sooner you ask this question, the sooner you can take charge of your life.
This process is like a spiral that leads us upward towards psychological and spiritual wholeness. The sidewalks of life do not go in a straight line. They may not be flat. They may be like a trail that winds round and round a mountain until it reaches the top. Each time you break out of an old pattern of thinking and living, you begin a new switchback that leads you ever upwards to the fundamental goal of life.
Fall into enough of the holes in the sidewalks of life and you may become whole. Through the lessons of the holes of life, you approach wholeness. Becoming whole means striving to be all that you can be. All potentialities are explored. You know what you do, and why you do it. Choices are made, and you are responsible for these choices.
The holes in the sidewalk are actually invitations to grow.
Are you open to the invitation?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Strive for Integrity, Not Popularity in Social Media
This post came about as I was talking to someone recently about people I have noticed who have been rallying others to follow them and their "club" in order to be part of the cool in-group. This post was also inspired by a few that I know of who continue to bash others online in an effort to raise their ego to a higher level so they will be welcomed into in-groups that encourage such behavior. I am all for social media and the wonderful ways it can be used to connect so many people that would never have had the chance to meet offline, but there are also times when the tools of social media can be used in ruthless manners. Everyone has the right to use the tools the way they wish, but I have seen way too many cases where Twitter, blogs, Facebook, etc. can be used as weapons intended to ruin someone's reputation or spread false rumors. This is wrong, people! People can make too many assumptions about others without knowing the real facts. This is even more so the case when they have never met a person they may make assumptions about. This is a real problem in today's society as social media continues to grow. I have already talked about cyber-bullying, but there are also cases where social media is used in a way to stroke the ego of some who use it to boast about their accomplishments and how everyone else is beneath them.
It is true that in today's world, "the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths." (2 Timothy 4:3,4)
Integrity is a trait that is missing in today's use of social media in many cases. Too often, people can hide behind an online profile and talk about how great they are or how others should follow them because everyone else is falling for the same scheme. If you don't follow these "behind the curtain" manipulators, then you are considered an outsider or dismissed as not being part of the in-crowd. And in some extreme cases, if you don't do what some of these "behind the curtain" people want you to do, then they may resort to intimidation tactics or attempts to smear your reputation among their seduced followers. Matthew 7:15,16 speaks truth where it says: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits."
How does one ensure they are not led to believe in some people who use social media in a way to create a false sense of reality? How can you protect yourself? Here are a few tips:
1) Don't believe everything that one may share online about others. Never take someone's words to be the whole truth. Check with others to understand if this is truth being spoken or just assumptions not based on facts. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says: "Test everything; hold fast what is good."
2) Understand that there are some who like to share things about others just so they can raise their ego to the same level as the false prophets in this world. Some will say things just to get others stirred up since they thrive on conflict and useless banter.
As I shared earlier, I am all for the tools of social media to be used for good in building relationships and connecting with others online. The sharing of information via social media tools is unbelievable in how it can enable so many to learn from one another. That is where the usefulness of social media comes into play. What I do speak out against though is where social media can be used as weapons of destruction and to mess with people's lives spreading false rumors. Those who practice such tactics should not even be allowed to be representatives of organizations that share how to use social media in a good manner as they are in reality two-faced about how they use the tools. It is time to speak up against such negative uses of social media and call out those who use social media in such deceitful manners.
Ted Engstrom writes: “The world needs people who cannot be bought; whose word is their bond; who put character above wealth; who possess opinions and a will; who are larger than their vocations; who don’t hesitate to take chances; who won’t lose their individuality in a crowd; who will be as honest in small things as they are in great things; who will make no compromise with wrong; whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires; who will not say they do it ‘because everybody else does it;’ who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity; who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hard-heartedness are the best qualities for winning success; who are not afraid to stand for the truth even when it’s unpopular; who say ‘no’ with emphasis, even though the rest of the world says ‘yes.’”
Stand for integrity. Don't ever waver from this principle.
It is true that in today's world, "the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths." (2 Timothy 4:3,4)
Integrity is a trait that is missing in today's use of social media in many cases. Too often, people can hide behind an online profile and talk about how great they are or how others should follow them because everyone else is falling for the same scheme. If you don't follow these "behind the curtain" manipulators, then you are considered an outsider or dismissed as not being part of the in-crowd. And in some extreme cases, if you don't do what some of these "behind the curtain" people want you to do, then they may resort to intimidation tactics or attempts to smear your reputation among their seduced followers. Matthew 7:15,16 speaks truth where it says: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits."
How does one ensure they are not led to believe in some people who use social media in a way to create a false sense of reality? How can you protect yourself? Here are a few tips:
1) Don't believe everything that one may share online about others. Never take someone's words to be the whole truth. Check with others to understand if this is truth being spoken or just assumptions not based on facts. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says: "Test everything; hold fast what is good."
2) Understand that there are some who like to share things about others just so they can raise their ego to the same level as the false prophets in this world. Some will say things just to get others stirred up since they thrive on conflict and useless banter.
As I shared earlier, I am all for the tools of social media to be used for good in building relationships and connecting with others online. The sharing of information via social media tools is unbelievable in how it can enable so many to learn from one another. That is where the usefulness of social media comes into play. What I do speak out against though is where social media can be used as weapons of destruction and to mess with people's lives spreading false rumors. Those who practice such tactics should not even be allowed to be representatives of organizations that share how to use social media in a good manner as they are in reality two-faced about how they use the tools. It is time to speak up against such negative uses of social media and call out those who use social media in such deceitful manners.
Ted Engstrom writes: “The world needs people who cannot be bought; whose word is their bond; who put character above wealth; who possess opinions and a will; who are larger than their vocations; who don’t hesitate to take chances; who won’t lose their individuality in a crowd; who will be as honest in small things as they are in great things; who will make no compromise with wrong; whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires; who will not say they do it ‘because everybody else does it;’ who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity; who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hard-heartedness are the best qualities for winning success; who are not afraid to stand for the truth even when it’s unpopular; who say ‘no’ with emphasis, even though the rest of the world says ‘yes.’”
Stand for integrity. Don't ever waver from this principle.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Is the Always-On Use of Technology/Social Media Good For Us?
This post was inspired by recent articles I have read about how those who attempt to multi-task or use electronic devices (smartphones, computers, etc.) while engaging in other important tasks are really not paying attention. Harvard Business Review has had many interesting articles about the use of technology in our world today and how it could be having a toll. Tonight, I read an excellent article by Ari Herzog called "Why Social Media is Dangerous for Your Brain" that talks about how multi-tasking is a farce and we cannot perform multiple tasks at the same time successfully.
With the continued increase of social media becoming part of our lives, it is only getting worse. I am not against social media and love using it everyday to connect and interact with people. I love how these tools enable us to connect with many people and be able to share helpful information with them and vice versa. Even now while I write this blog post, my brain is trying to convince me to stop and see if any tweets came in that I should read. With continued use of social media tools like Twitter that demand our constant attention to read updates that come at us like a fire hose left on, it is no wonder we feel like we can't keep up! I feel we are a pressure-induced society and it is only getting worse as technology continues to penetrate our lives and demand our constant attention.
Many people are amazed that I don't have a smartphone, yet they see my tweets frequently throughout the day. I still have my trusty flip cellphone that I use only to make calls and occasionally send text messages. But even sending and receiving text messages is rare for me. There have been times when I have come close to getting a smartphone with my mind telling me justifications on why I need to have one. When I see others around me with their heads buried in their phones as they text, tweet, or read what is on their phones, I ask myself if I really want to feel tethered to a phone that demands my attention all the time when it is on? Truthfully, to me, it is sad to go to events where people come together to meet and everyone is still so attached to their mobile devices that they ignore each other and text/tweet away without focusing on the present moment. What once was e-mail beckoning to us to read and respond as messages came in is now tweets, Facebook posts and text messages calling out to us.
I know I am slowly learning how to un-tether myself from using Twitter, Facebook, etc. when I am working on my laptop. When you make a habit of always turning on Tweetdeck or checking tweets everyday, it can be tough to change this mindset. Much like there are books out there on how to manage our email overload, where are the books on how to manage the constant flow of social media messages that attempt to flood us? As a society, we need to stop, take a step back from afar, and look at what is going on. Do we really want to allow technology to take over our lives and force us to constantly have our brains engaged?
For those who know me personally, I am an avid hiker and one activity that I love to do with my family is head for the woods, find a trail and hike experiencing nature with all of my senses. When I was growing up, I lived in the countryside and all I did was explore the land around me riding my 80cc motorcycle to soak in the adventures that were all around me. Sure, there was the occasional chases by farmers when I would drive my motorcycle through their farm fields, but overall, it was the best times of my life. I would go fishing in the many ponds near my home and build trails with friends where we could ride our 4-wheelers and motorcycles. On weekends, I would go with my grandparents and aunts/uncles to go camping with them at nearby campgrounds. We would site around the fire and share stories just enjoying each other's presence. As a result, being in nature has always been in my blood. I make every attempt to introduce my kids to nature and bring them outdoors to experience hiking, fishing, camping, etc.
I believe all of us need to dis-engage from technology at times and experience life to its fullest. It is amazing what a few days away from technology can do for your mind! I encourage you to think about how you use technology and start to take action to not lean so much on it in your life. We all managed to survive just fine before cellphones or even the Internet came into our lives, so we should be able to manage the time we spend with technology in today's present age. I am not saying technology is bad, but asking you to think about how much it has become part of your life and how can you reduce its effect on your life with its constant beckoning call to pay attention. Who is with me?
With the continued increase of social media becoming part of our lives, it is only getting worse. I am not against social media and love using it everyday to connect and interact with people. I love how these tools enable us to connect with many people and be able to share helpful information with them and vice versa. Even now while I write this blog post, my brain is trying to convince me to stop and see if any tweets came in that I should read. With continued use of social media tools like Twitter that demand our constant attention to read updates that come at us like a fire hose left on, it is no wonder we feel like we can't keep up! I feel we are a pressure-induced society and it is only getting worse as technology continues to penetrate our lives and demand our constant attention.
Many people are amazed that I don't have a smartphone, yet they see my tweets frequently throughout the day. I still have my trusty flip cellphone that I use only to make calls and occasionally send text messages. But even sending and receiving text messages is rare for me. There have been times when I have come close to getting a smartphone with my mind telling me justifications on why I need to have one. When I see others around me with their heads buried in their phones as they text, tweet, or read what is on their phones, I ask myself if I really want to feel tethered to a phone that demands my attention all the time when it is on? Truthfully, to me, it is sad to go to events where people come together to meet and everyone is still so attached to their mobile devices that they ignore each other and text/tweet away without focusing on the present moment. What once was e-mail beckoning to us to read and respond as messages came in is now tweets, Facebook posts and text messages calling out to us.
I know I am slowly learning how to un-tether myself from using Twitter, Facebook, etc. when I am working on my laptop. When you make a habit of always turning on Tweetdeck or checking tweets everyday, it can be tough to change this mindset. Much like there are books out there on how to manage our email overload, where are the books on how to manage the constant flow of social media messages that attempt to flood us? As a society, we need to stop, take a step back from afar, and look at what is going on. Do we really want to allow technology to take over our lives and force us to constantly have our brains engaged?
For those who know me personally, I am an avid hiker and one activity that I love to do with my family is head for the woods, find a trail and hike experiencing nature with all of my senses. When I was growing up, I lived in the countryside and all I did was explore the land around me riding my 80cc motorcycle to soak in the adventures that were all around me. Sure, there was the occasional chases by farmers when I would drive my motorcycle through their farm fields, but overall, it was the best times of my life. I would go fishing in the many ponds near my home and build trails with friends where we could ride our 4-wheelers and motorcycles. On weekends, I would go with my grandparents and aunts/uncles to go camping with them at nearby campgrounds. We would site around the fire and share stories just enjoying each other's presence. As a result, being in nature has always been in my blood. I make every attempt to introduce my kids to nature and bring them outdoors to experience hiking, fishing, camping, etc.
I believe all of us need to dis-engage from technology at times and experience life to its fullest. It is amazing what a few days away from technology can do for your mind! I encourage you to think about how you use technology and start to take action to not lean so much on it in your life. We all managed to survive just fine before cellphones or even the Internet came into our lives, so we should be able to manage the time we spend with technology in today's present age. I am not saying technology is bad, but asking you to think about how much it has become part of your life and how can you reduce its effect on your life with its constant beckoning call to pay attention. Who is with me?
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Relationships go deeper than talking on Twitter or Facebook
This post was inspired by a sermon at Olathe Christian Church where they talked about how relationships need to go deeper than social media. That sermon can be viewed here: http://bit.ly/cNqVek and it is well worth watching. One statement in this sermon caught my attention and it was "Pursue relationships proactively instead of reactively. Technology makes us relationally reactive. When someone sends you a tweet or message via social media tools, we react to it so much that we lose the art of pursuing or proactively reaching out to connect in a true manner. If a person stops sending us messages online, we move to the next person who is willing to send us messages we can react to." I think in many ways, these statements are very true. I have done this many times where someone will send me a reply on Twitter and I react to it by responding back and myself and the other person moves on to the next person who sends a message. There are times when I will have a conversation with someone on Twitter trading back and forth replies. but there is still that end point where this stops and we move on. If you think about how many followers many of us have on Twitter or Facebook, it can easily run into the hundreds or thousands. How many of these connections are taken off-line and developed into real relationships as you get to know the other person and become friends? Not very many unfortunately.
Very often, exchanges we have online with others can be interpreted in so many different ways. For example, I have tweeted or retweeted things before that others took offense to just because they thought it was meant for them or meant something that it never was intended to represent. That is how easy messages online can cause misunderstandings. I have lost opportunities to work with companies before all because they thought what I shared online was tied to them and without meeting in person to explain your side, things can get out of hand quickly and turn sour. You have to always be alert and aware what you say and how it makes an impact on others. Same thing with debates online where you may have an opinion on something and share openly your thoughts. Others may debate with you and they have that right. But, once again, what is shared online can be taken the wrong way and cause problems. Too many times, we disagree with people based on what they share online and blow them off throwing them to the side like they are a castaway. We need to remember we are dealing with real human beings online who have real feelings. There are real people behind a Twitter picture or Facebook profile.
One very good example of a local gathering that started online and has successfully transitioned to an offline activity each month is called #kcbowling on Twitter. It started several months ago with a few people who decided they wanted to meet in person to have fun talking and bowling at a local bowling alley. I found out about this monthly gathering and now go when I can to it each month. A Twtvite (short for invite via Twitter) is sent out letting people know when the event is and where it is. Anyone can come and attend it and it is a great opportunity to meet people in real life that you may talk to online on Twitter. I met many great friends just by attending this event and encourage anyone wanting to attend to check it out by searching for the hashtag #kcbowling. As recently as last night, May 15, I attended it and had a chance to bowl with a group of guys who I have only talked with online a few times and a few I had not met yet. So, it was a great opportunity to get to know people and when we reconnect online, we know more about each other each time.
Another great example of a local KC gathering that has moved from online to offline events is the Social Media Club of Kansas City or #smckc as it is known on Twitter. We have monthly breakfast events, happy hours, and lunch gatherings where people can meet in person and get to know each other better. Again, I have met many wonderful people via these events who I had only talked with online before. Many people have even found jobs via people who attended SMCKC events and they had a chance to network.
In closing, make sure you get to know people more than just trading replies online via social media tools like Twitter or Facebook. Make the effort to proactively go beyond your computer or mobile phone screen to make connections with people. Get to know them as the true person they are in real life. Don't make assumptions about who they are based only off what they share online. They may share things online that are not a true representation of their real selves and the only way you or I can find out is if we make an effort to reach out, invite them to meet offline and get to know them as the real person they are. Maybe they share things online that shows they are hurting inside or what they share is hiding an issue they are struggling with, but unless we proactively reach out and ask how they are and make an attempt to meet in person, how can we help them see through their issues?
This week, make an effort to reach out to people who you normally only talk to online and see if you can meet in person to extend your relationship or friendship. Make it real, not artificial.
Very often, exchanges we have online with others can be interpreted in so many different ways. For example, I have tweeted or retweeted things before that others took offense to just because they thought it was meant for them or meant something that it never was intended to represent. That is how easy messages online can cause misunderstandings. I have lost opportunities to work with companies before all because they thought what I shared online was tied to them and without meeting in person to explain your side, things can get out of hand quickly and turn sour. You have to always be alert and aware what you say and how it makes an impact on others. Same thing with debates online where you may have an opinion on something and share openly your thoughts. Others may debate with you and they have that right. But, once again, what is shared online can be taken the wrong way and cause problems. Too many times, we disagree with people based on what they share online and blow them off throwing them to the side like they are a castaway. We need to remember we are dealing with real human beings online who have real feelings. There are real people behind a Twitter picture or Facebook profile.
One very good example of a local gathering that started online and has successfully transitioned to an offline activity each month is called #kcbowling on Twitter. It started several months ago with a few people who decided they wanted to meet in person to have fun talking and bowling at a local bowling alley. I found out about this monthly gathering and now go when I can to it each month. A Twtvite (short for invite via Twitter) is sent out letting people know when the event is and where it is. Anyone can come and attend it and it is a great opportunity to meet people in real life that you may talk to online on Twitter. I met many great friends just by attending this event and encourage anyone wanting to attend to check it out by searching for the hashtag #kcbowling. As recently as last night, May 15, I attended it and had a chance to bowl with a group of guys who I have only talked with online a few times and a few I had not met yet. So, it was a great opportunity to get to know people and when we reconnect online, we know more about each other each time.
Another great example of a local KC gathering that has moved from online to offline events is the Social Media Club of Kansas City or #smckc as it is known on Twitter. We have monthly breakfast events, happy hours, and lunch gatherings where people can meet in person and get to know each other better. Again, I have met many wonderful people via these events who I had only talked with online before. Many people have even found jobs via people who attended SMCKC events and they had a chance to network.
In closing, make sure you get to know people more than just trading replies online via social media tools like Twitter or Facebook. Make the effort to proactively go beyond your computer or mobile phone screen to make connections with people. Get to know them as the true person they are in real life. Don't make assumptions about who they are based only off what they share online. They may share things online that are not a true representation of their real selves and the only way you or I can find out is if we make an effort to reach out, invite them to meet offline and get to know them as the real person they are. Maybe they share things online that shows they are hurting inside or what they share is hiding an issue they are struggling with, but unless we proactively reach out and ask how they are and make an attempt to meet in person, how can we help them see through their issues?
This week, make an effort to reach out to people who you normally only talk to online and see if you can meet in person to extend your relationship or friendship. Make it real, not artificial.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Social networking - all about connections
For the great majority of human history, people resided in small, intimate hunter-gatherer communities. We have been embedded in off-line social networks for much of our lives. Many times, in today's day and age, when people think of social networks, they think of Twitter, Facebook, etc. These tools enable us to connect with so many more people than we ever used to via the phone, email, or in person. But, they are just tools. The real social networking occurs when we connect with people and share in each other's lives. Those companies that find the most success in using social networking tools to reach out to people are those that take time to interact and get to know those who follow them. That is why I don't understand those companies that use Twitter and Facebook to broadcast messages. Sure, you can reach a vast number of people with messages via social networking tools, but why waste time on them if you are not going to invest time in interacting with your customers? Many companies are starting to turn social media tools into the "new direct mail" that so many have received that we tire of easily.
Besides companies, there are many people who have various reasons for how they use social networking tools in their life. I have been asked a few times by some on how I use Twitter and what is my goal in using these tools? To be honest, I don't have a set goal in using Twitter, Facebook, etc. and how I use them may differ from how others use them. I use social networking tools to connect with people and build relationships with them. I also find great joy in connecting people I know with others who could help them in some way. Example: Recently, a good friend of mine, Laura Wynn tweeted she was looking for a photographer to take photos of the Linking Women luncheon that is held every month. I was sent a direct message from Jenae Weinbrenner mentioning she is a photographer by profession. I then sent a note directly to Laura mentioning she should talk to Jenae. They connected and at the May Linking Women luncheon, Jenae took wonderful photographs that were loved by so many there. She just recently agreed to be the Linking Women permanent photographer! Congratulations, Jenae! This is what TRUE social networking is all about!
I have also had a few claim I use social networking tools as a form of online therapy since I will at times share quotes, Bible verses, or the struggles I am facing. Some believe I have built a certain persona on Twitter and should only stick to this perceived persona that others expect to see from me. But the truth is that the struggles I go through are a part of my life and it helps me to share with others what is on my mind. I have found many times that by doing this, I am able to connect with those who can relate and give me advice, tips on how to deal with things. Again, to me, this is TRUE social networking. There are many I know who have found hope or new confidence just by posting a message online about what they are going through and others reaching out to them. In fact, there are some who the only connections they may have are through social networking tools. We see this in the way Facebook is used for grandparents who stay connected to their kids and grandkids via photos, messages, video shared on Facebook.
Nicholas Christakis explores how the large-scale, face-to-face social networks in which we are embedded affect our lives: The hidden influence of social networks. We are interconnected to hundreds or thousands of specific people, most of whom we do not know. We affect them and they affect us.
I have made great friends with many via Twitter or Facebook and many reside in the Kansas City area. I would not have met them without social networking tools that enabled virtual connections first and then off-line meetings later via tweet-ups or other community gatherings through Social Media Club of KC events. So I will continue to connect with people virtually, try to get opportunities to meet them off-line if possible, and connect them with others. In reality, it is like a circle of networking in this way. Connect, meet, introduce and so on.
How have social networking tools helped you in your life? How do you use these tools? Do you blend in your personal life with your professional life online or do you keep them separate?
Besides companies, there are many people who have various reasons for how they use social networking tools in their life. I have been asked a few times by some on how I use Twitter and what is my goal in using these tools? To be honest, I don't have a set goal in using Twitter, Facebook, etc. and how I use them may differ from how others use them. I use social networking tools to connect with people and build relationships with them. I also find great joy in connecting people I know with others who could help them in some way. Example: Recently, a good friend of mine, Laura Wynn tweeted she was looking for a photographer to take photos of the Linking Women luncheon that is held every month. I was sent a direct message from Jenae Weinbrenner mentioning she is a photographer by profession. I then sent a note directly to Laura mentioning she should talk to Jenae. They connected and at the May Linking Women luncheon, Jenae took wonderful photographs that were loved by so many there. She just recently agreed to be the Linking Women permanent photographer! Congratulations, Jenae! This is what TRUE social networking is all about!
I have also had a few claim I use social networking tools as a form of online therapy since I will at times share quotes, Bible verses, or the struggles I am facing. Some believe I have built a certain persona on Twitter and should only stick to this perceived persona that others expect to see from me. But the truth is that the struggles I go through are a part of my life and it helps me to share with others what is on my mind. I have found many times that by doing this, I am able to connect with those who can relate and give me advice, tips on how to deal with things. Again, to me, this is TRUE social networking. There are many I know who have found hope or new confidence just by posting a message online about what they are going through and others reaching out to them. In fact, there are some who the only connections they may have are through social networking tools. We see this in the way Facebook is used for grandparents who stay connected to their kids and grandkids via photos, messages, video shared on Facebook.
Nicholas Christakis explores how the large-scale, face-to-face social networks in which we are embedded affect our lives: The hidden influence of social networks. We are interconnected to hundreds or thousands of specific people, most of whom we do not know. We affect them and they affect us.
I have made great friends with many via Twitter or Facebook and many reside in the Kansas City area. I would not have met them without social networking tools that enabled virtual connections first and then off-line meetings later via tweet-ups or other community gatherings through Social Media Club of KC events. So I will continue to connect with people virtually, try to get opportunities to meet them off-line if possible, and connect them with others. In reality, it is like a circle of networking in this way. Connect, meet, introduce and so on.
How have social networking tools helped you in your life? How do you use these tools? Do you blend in your personal life with your professional life online or do you keep them separate?
Monday, August 24, 2009
A Helping Hand Gives a Friend a New Job
Right now, I am brimming with so much happiness for a great friend of mine who told me he got a new job today!!! One big reason I am thrilled for him is that both him and I have been through so much at our current jobs trying to live out our passion and drive (taking from @dannybrown's recent post about having passion drivers in your life). We both have a deep passion for using social media to connect and interact with customers. Unfortunately, both of us have been shut down and chewed out many times for expressing our passion or sharing information with others in our company.
We came to the point where we knew it was time to move on and pursue our passions. I always keep my eye out for job openings that may not fit me but a friend may have the qualifications for it. In this case, I had a job interview with the hiring manager for a different position and the hiring manager told me she was looking for another person to fill a search engine marketing manager position. Immediately, I thought about my friend and recommended him to her. My friend connected with the hiring manager and he had two successful interviews. All he could do now was wait and see if his interviews were good enough for him to get the job.
Well, he sent me a tweet tonight and he got the job!!! It is such a great feeling when you refer a good friend for a job and they get it. In this case, the giving of this reference to my friend and hearing his good news made my day! Think about how you can help a friend looking for a job in these tough times. Even when you are looking, finding opportunities for others can pay you back tenfold in the end.
How will you help a friend today?
We came to the point where we knew it was time to move on and pursue our passions. I always keep my eye out for job openings that may not fit me but a friend may have the qualifications for it. In this case, I had a job interview with the hiring manager for a different position and the hiring manager told me she was looking for another person to fill a search engine marketing manager position. Immediately, I thought about my friend and recommended him to her. My friend connected with the hiring manager and he had two successful interviews. All he could do now was wait and see if his interviews were good enough for him to get the job.
Well, he sent me a tweet tonight and he got the job!!! It is such a great feeling when you refer a good friend for a job and they get it. In this case, the giving of this reference to my friend and hearing his good news made my day! Think about how you can help a friend looking for a job in these tough times. Even when you are looking, finding opportunities for others can pay you back tenfold in the end.
How will you help a friend today?
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