This post is the fourth and final one in a series to share statements from the Stephen Arterburn book called “Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose” and share my thoughts.
In this post, we will be talking about one reframing device that can give you dramatic results if you focus on it. It involves the most challenging, but most valuable and powerful number in the world. That number is one. For anyone who has a hard time getting things accomplished such as stacks of items you need to get through, calls that need to be done, etc., begin to implant a big number ONE firmly in your mind. You focus on that number so much you start to ask about anything that happens, how it relates to the number one. All you are doing with this practice is increasing your awareness of where everything starts. It starts with the number one.
What is the power of ONE? It is found in reframing the structure of your mind to focus on what you have the ability to do and move out of thinking on what is too much for you to do. Have you ever had problems concentrating on doing something that you know will take you a long time (going through your emails) or just getting started on a project? My mind is like that. I tend to let my mind wander at times or get easily distracted by things that take my focus away from something I need to put my full attention on. For example, Twitter is an example of a tool that can suck away your time replying and following what people are saying in the stream if you are not careful about managing your time. It is like a firehose that never turns off. What you can do is take it one step at a time focusing on turning off those things that distract you and take time to write that one blog post you have been putting off or take that one hour to focus on your work. Or if one hour is too much of a stretch for you, focus on your work for 15 minutes and take a 1 minute break. Then go back to working for another 15 minutes.
The power of one can be valuable in how you search for a job. As you saturate your mind with the power of one, you can do the one thing that would move you from doing nothing to making progress. Maybe make a list of single actions and pick one a day for five days. In doing this, you can reverse a trend and start moving from sitting around wondering why you can't find a job to actively making progress towards your next job one step, one action at a time. One phone call can make the difference for a job. Sending one letter, volunteering one hour, or making one visit can start the habit of helping others.
I have started to think about how I could use the power of one in my own life as I continue to search for full-time employment. It is true that if you think about all the steps required to apply for a job or find a job, it can feel overwhelming. Especially if you have been searching for awhile or had many interviews with no success, the days can start to wear on you. But all it takes is one person that you connect with who has an opening that could lead to your next job. That is why networking is such an important part of a job search. I am involved in a few groups, including one that I started in July with a few others called the Kansas City Social Media Group. This is another group that allows business owners who want to learn more about social media come together in a social setting to network and learn from one another. I know there are other social media groups in the KC area like SMCKC, SMCJoCO, Internet Marketing/SM Meetup, etc. and in my opinion, the more groups that are out there where someone can connect with others to learn, the better. The KCSM Group focuses on providing an arena where business professionals can connect with others to get help, ideas, advice, and make connections in their fields in order to do their jobs better, gain new business, or solve problems. What is great about it is that there are many who come to this group and also attend other social media groups in the Kansas City area. It has been shared that one of the success tools in someone finding a job is through a contact they met through networking.
Another group I recently became a part of is New Landings. They are an organization who is committed to helping the unemployed middle class with resources and connections via networking to find their next job. I am part of their volunteer social media team to share ways their members can use social media tools to search for jobs and this group offers another opportunity to meet and network. Just by taking the time to learn one social media tool like Twitter, job seekers can start to take that next step in their job search. All it takes is using the power of one. Start with one tool and focus on it. Connect with one person who knows how to use social media and ask them for help.
I also am starting to think about how I can take the next step in connecting with more people I follow or who follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Facebook. There are so many people who live in the KC area that I chat with regularly via these social media tools and even though I have met some of them, I want to get to know more of them. All it takes is to make that one call, send that one e-mail, or send that one tweet/DM to someone and ask if you can get together with them to chat and get to know one another. So many of us connect virtually everyday, but do we go beyond the occasional tweet to really get to know someone and actually talk to them via phone or in person? That is one thing I am going to start doing more. Meet with people and get to know them for who they are outside of the person they represent on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Facebook. I encourage you to try this activity. In fact, by meeting these people, it might generate more blog posts on here about those I meet or even those who I feature on the Passion Drivers blog.
This post concludes the series based off the Reframing Your Life book. I will continue to share tidbits and thoughts on future books I read with you. I am open to hearing about books that have made an impact on you that you suggest I check out. Let me know in the comments. Also, if you have experienced the power of one and something you did made a difference in your life, let us know in the comments. We would love to hear stories from you. Remember, all it takes is taking that first step or doing that first action.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Reframing Your Life - A Process (Be Humble)
This post is the third in a series to share statements from the Stephen Arterburn book called “Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose” and my thoughts/personal stories related to what I share. In my first post, I shared one of the barriers to “reframing” in your life is stubborn resistance to other viewpoints from others and how the antidote is having a more willing heart. In my second post, I shared another barrier to reframing is justifiable resentment towards yourself or others and the antidote to it is forgiving. I am calling an audible on the third barrier that I will share with you from Blind Ignorance to one that I feel is important to discuss.
The third barrier is one that many of us can fall into easily if we are not careful. It is Arrogant Entitlement. For so many, life is all about doing things your own way. The world we live in encourages "my way" thinking. We are bombarded with ads that say you can "have it your way" and "you deserve a break today." After all, isn't it really all about us and having it our way? Most people don't rush out to do something wrong. They inch up to it. They don't just steal at work, they convince themselves they are worth more than they make and are really just taking that to which they are entitled. When we do things like this, we are framing our actions before they are ever involved with them. This arrogant thinking will start small, but will infect every area of your life and destroy your relationships and the ability to heal them. If you stay on the course of arrogant entitlement, you will always be looking for the next thing and the next person who can help you get it, and you will become a taker, a self-absorbed greedy person who use people.
If you are living in your arrogance and demanding all you feel entitled to have, you begin to live like royalty. People start to see you that way also. But that is not good news. They see you on your throne, but you don't have much of an empire to rule. To others, you are "Your Royal Highness Baby" or "Sir Brat the Prince." If you have this way of thinking, you have very high expectations of what others should be doing for you. You want from others what is "due" you, and you want it in a way that will please you. Proverbs 14:16 says: "The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with great confidence." In this careless way of life, the fool loses his close relationships as he loses himself. It is a royal way to live: royally alone, stupid and empty.
Arrogant people are missing true humility. Humility within a person's heart eliminates the "me first," "my way," "give me what I deserve" way of thinking. Humility reaches out to connect with others, appreciating them for who they are, not just what they can do for you. A humble person is not using everything within himself to further his own cause, but rather there is a desire to use whatever position to help others and meet their needs. What does the Bible say about humility? 1 Peter 5:6 says: "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you." This can be hard at times to wait upon God as "his good time" is likely a lot slower than you want, but it is essential. Rather than assert our rights or beliefs about something or someone, we need to give others the right-of-way. Humility leads to contentment and satisfaction. Your humble heart draws people to you. People are repelled by arrogance and entitlement. I will close with this story from the book that sums up the difference between arrogant entitlement and humility:
"A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert-like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed they had no other recourse but prayer. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.
The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren. Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing. Finally, the first man prayed for a ship so he could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked on his side of the island. He boarded the ship and decided to leave the second man on the island.
As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?" "My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered, so he does not deserve anything."
"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings." "Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"
"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."
How can you be more humble in how you treat others? Think upon this and reflect on your own life. See where you can turn from arrogant entitlement to humility. You will truly be blessed if you do.
In the next post, we will talk about one reframing device that would benefit you more than others and it involves the most challenging, but most valuable and powerful number in the world...
The third barrier is one that many of us can fall into easily if we are not careful. It is Arrogant Entitlement. For so many, life is all about doing things your own way. The world we live in encourages "my way" thinking. We are bombarded with ads that say you can "have it your way" and "you deserve a break today." After all, isn't it really all about us and having it our way? Most people don't rush out to do something wrong. They inch up to it. They don't just steal at work, they convince themselves they are worth more than they make and are really just taking that to which they are entitled. When we do things like this, we are framing our actions before they are ever involved with them. This arrogant thinking will start small, but will infect every area of your life and destroy your relationships and the ability to heal them. If you stay on the course of arrogant entitlement, you will always be looking for the next thing and the next person who can help you get it, and you will become a taker, a self-absorbed greedy person who use people.
If you are living in your arrogance and demanding all you feel entitled to have, you begin to live like royalty. People start to see you that way also. But that is not good news. They see you on your throne, but you don't have much of an empire to rule. To others, you are "Your Royal Highness Baby" or "Sir Brat the Prince." If you have this way of thinking, you have very high expectations of what others should be doing for you. You want from others what is "due" you, and you want it in a way that will please you. Proverbs 14:16 says: "The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with great confidence." In this careless way of life, the fool loses his close relationships as he loses himself. It is a royal way to live: royally alone, stupid and empty.
Arrogant people are missing true humility. Humility within a person's heart eliminates the "me first," "my way," "give me what I deserve" way of thinking. Humility reaches out to connect with others, appreciating them for who they are, not just what they can do for you. A humble person is not using everything within himself to further his own cause, but rather there is a desire to use whatever position to help others and meet their needs. What does the Bible say about humility? 1 Peter 5:6 says: "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you." This can be hard at times to wait upon God as "his good time" is likely a lot slower than you want, but it is essential. Rather than assert our rights or beliefs about something or someone, we need to give others the right-of-way. Humility leads to contentment and satisfaction. Your humble heart draws people to you. People are repelled by arrogance and entitlement. I will close with this story from the book that sums up the difference between arrogant entitlement and humility:
"A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert-like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed they had no other recourse but prayer. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.
The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren. Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing. Finally, the first man prayed for a ship so he could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked on his side of the island. He boarded the ship and decided to leave the second man on the island.
As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?" "My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered, so he does not deserve anything."
"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings." "Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"
"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."
How can you be more humble in how you treat others? Think upon this and reflect on your own life. See where you can turn from arrogant entitlement to humility. You will truly be blessed if you do.
In the next post, we will talk about one reframing device that would benefit you more than others and it involves the most challenging, but most valuable and powerful number in the world...
ReFraming Your Life – A Process (Be Forgiving)
This post is the second in a series to share statements from the Stephen Arterburn book called “Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose” and my thoughts/personal stories related to what I share. In my first post, I shared one of the barriers to "reframing" in your life is stubborn resistance to other viewpoints from others and how this barrier was one that I exhibited not too long ago based on a controversial post I wrote. To break this barrier, one needs to have a willing heart and open mind to hearing and taking time to listen to what others share in response to what you think is right. This process takes time, but it is worth taking a step back and look at how you can "reframe" your life to be more willing.
This next barrier is one that I have struggled with a lot lately and in a way, this post is like therapy for me as I will be doing all I can to destroy this barrier and its hold on my life from past events.
The second barrier or roadblock to reframing is Justifiable Resentment. Are you angry about something in your life? Has someone hurt you, and anyone who heard about what happened would tell you that you have every right to remain angry and bitter at that person? Perhaps you have buried it so deep that you no longer recognize it is there. If you harbor resentment in your heart towards others, it is as dangerous as any radioactive material that could destroy your body. We can easily generate a root of bitterness when we have a hurt or wound that goes so deep it implants in our hearts. When you think of the word "root" it describes something that must be dug out of the ground of our pasts in order for it to be exposed and destroyed. Ephesians 4:31 says we are to "get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger." Why must we do this? It eats away at us, takes away our drive to fulfill our purposes in life, and taints our relationships. Job 5:2 says "resentment destroys the fool." We can chain ourselves to a past or person we cannot change or we can find a way to move on, give up our right to resent, and at some point, forgive them.
I have a personal story related to this barrier also that I want to share. This one has been a very tough one for me to overcome as I felt betrayed and angry at what happened to me and I have been holding on to this resentment for awhile believing I had every right to think this way. I won't got into details of who I am specifically talking about, but many will know what I mean. I was asked to come on board with a company that I had observed for awhile online who was attempting to build their business in the local area. I was excited about this new opportunity to help contribute my knowledge of the area and expertise in social media to help this company acquire new clients and make a positive impact in the community. Not too long after I came on board, this company attempted to raise awareness of a long-standing icon in the KC area who was told they were to close in the next year. Social media channels were used to spread the word about how this historic icon needed to be saved and how everyone could contribute to make their voice be heard. I pitched in to give a voice to this movement and had a few debates with some online about my beliefs or why I felt the way I did in saving this icon. Unfortunately, the debates turned ugly and instead of taking them offline to discuss in person with those who had questions, I kept it online. It caused a rift between me and many others. Some of the rifts caused some to still not talk or speak with me today. I sent apologies to those who I felt I upset and if they chose to not forgive and hold resentment towards me, that is their right. We all have to answer to God someday in how we live our lives, so that is between God and them. The fallout continued long after I had apologized and accusations about me were sent and shared with the company I was a part of. I was told they were behind me, but over time, this was turned on me. At the same time, my online activities via tweets or posts on Facebook were watched and analyzed with close scrutiny. Misunderstandings and assumptions about the context of my tweets or posts were the result. When I talked or sent tweets to those I had tried to apologize to, I was sent notes to stop this activity by this company. I believe in reconciling with others if you upset them and in this case, I was going to attempt to do that. I have always tended to share things on Twitter and other channels that express my feelings at that time and I started to share Bible verses that brought me comfort and strength during this time. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was when I was told to back off the religious things I shared since many felt I was starting to sound like a religious fanatic and I needed to balance out what I shared with more business-related tweets. As a Christian, this request or demand, depending on how one views it, was not going to happen. Sharing what God placed on my heart with others on Twitter is one thing I do often and that is something I was not going to stop. I felt that the company who at one time said they were behind me was now taking the sides of those who made assumptions about me and this had gone too far. My personality and Christianity way of doing things simply was not meshing with the viewpoints and way of doing business that this company shared. In the end, I felt it was best to move on from this company and get away from the "heat" that was continuing to torch me no matter what I did or how I tried to reconcile things. Did I feel resentment? You better believe I did. I was not happy how so many had turned on me and made me out as a bad person without many taking the time to understand me and why I said or did the things I did. Was I wrong in how I treated some people during this time? Yes, I was. I did some things that as a Christian, I should not have handled that way. Even long after I moved on, I felt I had a justified resentment towards those who I felt turned on me and if others would just understand where I was coming from, they would agree. That was my viewpoint. Even now as I write this post out, I can feel a little of the anger and resentment trying to rear its ugly head about these past events. It is time to find the antidote to the barrier of justifiable resentment towards others.
Without exception we are to forgive, no matter how justified we feel due to the severity of an offense. Jesus said the number of times we need to forgive is unlimited. We have a mandate to forgive. Forgiving others can take time especially if you feel deep resentment or think how could you forgive someone who caused so much hurt in your life? This is especially true for those who may have been hurt by others via abuse. As I have thought about this resentment I had, I have realized the longer I wallow in anger and bitterness, the more vulnerable I am to derailing my life into something I was not meant to do or be. I have to reframe it knowing that God has grace for me and for those who I feel resentment towards. I have to reframe these people as tools of God, imperfect tools God is using to transform my character.
When we forgive, it is a process rather than an event. This is very important to remember: The negative feelings we may have about others are not doing anything to the people who hurt you except allowing them to continue to negatively impact your life. You are letting them dominate your life. Justifiable resentment is a cancer on the soul. The bitterness is within you, not the person who hurt you. Your anger may give you the sense of power, but it actually robs you of your power. It is time to acknowledge they have remained the focus of too much time and attention and you have to let it go.
Stop this roadblock in its tracks. Let go of justifiable resentment and allow forgiveness into your life to allow you to reframe and move on with your life.
In the next post, we will dig into the next obstacle to reframing: Blind Ignorance.
This next barrier is one that I have struggled with a lot lately and in a way, this post is like therapy for me as I will be doing all I can to destroy this barrier and its hold on my life from past events.
The second barrier or roadblock to reframing is Justifiable Resentment. Are you angry about something in your life? Has someone hurt you, and anyone who heard about what happened would tell you that you have every right to remain angry and bitter at that person? Perhaps you have buried it so deep that you no longer recognize it is there. If you harbor resentment in your heart towards others, it is as dangerous as any radioactive material that could destroy your body. We can easily generate a root of bitterness when we have a hurt or wound that goes so deep it implants in our hearts. When you think of the word "root" it describes something that must be dug out of the ground of our pasts in order for it to be exposed and destroyed. Ephesians 4:31 says we are to "get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger." Why must we do this? It eats away at us, takes away our drive to fulfill our purposes in life, and taints our relationships. Job 5:2 says "resentment destroys the fool." We can chain ourselves to a past or person we cannot change or we can find a way to move on, give up our right to resent, and at some point, forgive them.
I have a personal story related to this barrier also that I want to share. This one has been a very tough one for me to overcome as I felt betrayed and angry at what happened to me and I have been holding on to this resentment for awhile believing I had every right to think this way. I won't got into details of who I am specifically talking about, but many will know what I mean. I was asked to come on board with a company that I had observed for awhile online who was attempting to build their business in the local area. I was excited about this new opportunity to help contribute my knowledge of the area and expertise in social media to help this company acquire new clients and make a positive impact in the community. Not too long after I came on board, this company attempted to raise awareness of a long-standing icon in the KC area who was told they were to close in the next year. Social media channels were used to spread the word about how this historic icon needed to be saved and how everyone could contribute to make their voice be heard. I pitched in to give a voice to this movement and had a few debates with some online about my beliefs or why I felt the way I did in saving this icon. Unfortunately, the debates turned ugly and instead of taking them offline to discuss in person with those who had questions, I kept it online. It caused a rift between me and many others. Some of the rifts caused some to still not talk or speak with me today. I sent apologies to those who I felt I upset and if they chose to not forgive and hold resentment towards me, that is their right. We all have to answer to God someday in how we live our lives, so that is between God and them. The fallout continued long after I had apologized and accusations about me were sent and shared with the company I was a part of. I was told they were behind me, but over time, this was turned on me. At the same time, my online activities via tweets or posts on Facebook were watched and analyzed with close scrutiny. Misunderstandings and assumptions about the context of my tweets or posts were the result. When I talked or sent tweets to those I had tried to apologize to, I was sent notes to stop this activity by this company. I believe in reconciling with others if you upset them and in this case, I was going to attempt to do that. I have always tended to share things on Twitter and other channels that express my feelings at that time and I started to share Bible verses that brought me comfort and strength during this time. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was when I was told to back off the religious things I shared since many felt I was starting to sound like a religious fanatic and I needed to balance out what I shared with more business-related tweets. As a Christian, this request or demand, depending on how one views it, was not going to happen. Sharing what God placed on my heart with others on Twitter is one thing I do often and that is something I was not going to stop. I felt that the company who at one time said they were behind me was now taking the sides of those who made assumptions about me and this had gone too far. My personality and Christianity way of doing things simply was not meshing with the viewpoints and way of doing business that this company shared. In the end, I felt it was best to move on from this company and get away from the "heat" that was continuing to torch me no matter what I did or how I tried to reconcile things. Did I feel resentment? You better believe I did. I was not happy how so many had turned on me and made me out as a bad person without many taking the time to understand me and why I said or did the things I did. Was I wrong in how I treated some people during this time? Yes, I was. I did some things that as a Christian, I should not have handled that way. Even long after I moved on, I felt I had a justified resentment towards those who I felt turned on me and if others would just understand where I was coming from, they would agree. That was my viewpoint. Even now as I write this post out, I can feel a little of the anger and resentment trying to rear its ugly head about these past events. It is time to find the antidote to the barrier of justifiable resentment towards others.
Without exception we are to forgive, no matter how justified we feel due to the severity of an offense. Jesus said the number of times we need to forgive is unlimited. We have a mandate to forgive. Forgiving others can take time especially if you feel deep resentment or think how could you forgive someone who caused so much hurt in your life? This is especially true for those who may have been hurt by others via abuse. As I have thought about this resentment I had, I have realized the longer I wallow in anger and bitterness, the more vulnerable I am to derailing my life into something I was not meant to do or be. I have to reframe it knowing that God has grace for me and for those who I feel resentment towards. I have to reframe these people as tools of God, imperfect tools God is using to transform my character.
When we forgive, it is a process rather than an event. This is very important to remember: The negative feelings we may have about others are not doing anything to the people who hurt you except allowing them to continue to negatively impact your life. You are letting them dominate your life. Justifiable resentment is a cancer on the soul. The bitterness is within you, not the person who hurt you. Your anger may give you the sense of power, but it actually robs you of your power. It is time to acknowledge they have remained the focus of too much time and attention and you have to let it go.
Stop this roadblock in its tracks. Let go of justifiable resentment and allow forgiveness into your life to allow you to reframe and move on with your life.
In the next post, we will dig into the next obstacle to reframing: Blind Ignorance.
ReFraming Your Life - A Process (Be Willing)
I got a book the other day by Stephen Arterburn called "Reframe Your Life: Transforming Your Pain Into Purpose" and I plan to share a few statements from this book and my thoughts in a series of posts over the next few days. The book focuses on how we need to look at what happens to us in the past via a process called reframing. Just as a frame on a picture enhances or detracts from the beauty of the art, how we frame ourselves and the events in our lives determines whether or not those events add or detract from the value and even the beauty of our lives. So many of us live in defeat. We remain stuck in mistakes we made or mistakes caused by others. It could be that a person or a group of people lashed out at you over something you said or did and as a result, one can be stuck in a state of bitterness or resentment that can eat you alive. You may never be able to resolve your past until you reframe your past and see it in a whole new light. Just as we frame a picture, we put a frame around our reality and we view all that happens to us through that frame or that perspective.
What are some barriers to reframing? One is stubborn resistance. Can you relate to those who so desperately need help but have a hard time opening up to the help they need? When you are in stubborn resistance, you may refuse to listen to what others share with you about things they see that are causing problems in your life. You may even project your problem onto someone else or blame them for the way you are. Your life becomes reactive to those who challenge you and you get stuck in ruts of your own doing. You may even hurt yourself and others around you, essentially allowing "boils" to fester in almost every area of your life. Those in this condition, no matter how painful life might become, refuse to budge and stand by what they believe is the right thing to do. I have to share that by personal experience I have done this before. I have wrote blogs posts or tweets that I stood by with all of my stubborn resistance without thinking about how others viewed what I wrote.
What is the antidote to stubborn resistance? It is Willingness. It is very difficult to implement this antidote after you have become so ingrained in your own way of seeing the world or others and react to it defensively. It takes time to have a willing heart or mind, especially if you have been hurt or rejected in the past by others. Willingness is the ability to see things from another person's perspective or at least be interested enough to acknowledge that not everyone sees things the way you do. Willing people realize not only that they are not always right, but they need to make things right when they wrong. So, in my case where I wrote a controversial blog post about a new SMC chapter that I did not believe needed to be started, I was resistant to others who shared their viewpoints or comments. Now that I look back, I realize that being more open minded or having a spirit of willingness would have made the outcome more positive or at least given me the opportunity to hear what others had to share. In a spirit of willingness, I decided to step down from the SMCKC executive board when asked to and I also stepped away as a member of SMCKC under my own decision. It is only through a willing heart can a person learn how to take what happened and reframe it for good. How am I reframing this particular issue? I do see where I went wrong now and have learned from it so I have a more open mind to opinions shared by others on issues that I may not agree with. If we all agreed with or disagreed with each other, we would never have the opportunities to learn valuable viewpoints from one another. Do I miss some of the good friendships I had with SMCKC members who didn't want anything to do with me after that controversial post and how I reacted defensively to so many? Sure, I do. But, I have learned that there will be some who are willing to forgive others for mistakes they did and reach back out to those who upset them before and there are others where that will never be the case. I am fine either way. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and some mistakes may be viewed by others as "recurring" often so they believe there should be no need to give such people who do this more chances. But, the fact of the matter is that God told us to forgive one another seventy-times seven (Matthew 18:22) and not hold one's mistakes against them. You cannot limit forgiveness. In Luke 17:3-4, it says: "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." If it weren't for God forgiving us all the time for the times when we have come up short, we would be lost. So, we need to forgive each other. That is the only way we will experience God's blessings on our lives by forgiving no matter how many mistakes are done by others or hurtful things are said to us.
Do you have a stubborn resistance that needs to be reframed to having a willing heart towards others? Believe me, it is worth taking time to reframe and embrace willingness.
In the next post, we will dig into the next obstacle to reframing: Justifiable Resentment. Until then, may you take a look at your own life and think about how you can reframe how you view things from the past and look at them in a new light.
What are some barriers to reframing? One is stubborn resistance. Can you relate to those who so desperately need help but have a hard time opening up to the help they need? When you are in stubborn resistance, you may refuse to listen to what others share with you about things they see that are causing problems in your life. You may even project your problem onto someone else or blame them for the way you are. Your life becomes reactive to those who challenge you and you get stuck in ruts of your own doing. You may even hurt yourself and others around you, essentially allowing "boils" to fester in almost every area of your life. Those in this condition, no matter how painful life might become, refuse to budge and stand by what they believe is the right thing to do. I have to share that by personal experience I have done this before. I have wrote blogs posts or tweets that I stood by with all of my stubborn resistance without thinking about how others viewed what I wrote.
What is the antidote to stubborn resistance? It is Willingness. It is very difficult to implement this antidote after you have become so ingrained in your own way of seeing the world or others and react to it defensively. It takes time to have a willing heart or mind, especially if you have been hurt or rejected in the past by others. Willingness is the ability to see things from another person's perspective or at least be interested enough to acknowledge that not everyone sees things the way you do. Willing people realize not only that they are not always right, but they need to make things right when they wrong. So, in my case where I wrote a controversial blog post about a new SMC chapter that I did not believe needed to be started, I was resistant to others who shared their viewpoints or comments. Now that I look back, I realize that being more open minded or having a spirit of willingness would have made the outcome more positive or at least given me the opportunity to hear what others had to share. In a spirit of willingness, I decided to step down from the SMCKC executive board when asked to and I also stepped away as a member of SMCKC under my own decision. It is only through a willing heart can a person learn how to take what happened and reframe it for good. How am I reframing this particular issue? I do see where I went wrong now and have learned from it so I have a more open mind to opinions shared by others on issues that I may not agree with. If we all agreed with or disagreed with each other, we would never have the opportunities to learn valuable viewpoints from one another. Do I miss some of the good friendships I had with SMCKC members who didn't want anything to do with me after that controversial post and how I reacted defensively to so many? Sure, I do. But, I have learned that there will be some who are willing to forgive others for mistakes they did and reach back out to those who upset them before and there are others where that will never be the case. I am fine either way. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and some mistakes may be viewed by others as "recurring" often so they believe there should be no need to give such people who do this more chances. But, the fact of the matter is that God told us to forgive one another seventy-times seven (Matthew 18:22) and not hold one's mistakes against them. You cannot limit forgiveness. In Luke 17:3-4, it says: "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." If it weren't for God forgiving us all the time for the times when we have come up short, we would be lost. So, we need to forgive each other. That is the only way we will experience God's blessings on our lives by forgiving no matter how many mistakes are done by others or hurtful things are said to us.
Do you have a stubborn resistance that needs to be reframed to having a willing heart towards others? Believe me, it is worth taking time to reframe and embrace willingness.
In the next post, we will dig into the next obstacle to reframing: Justifiable Resentment. Until then, may you take a look at your own life and think about how you can reframe how you view things from the past and look at them in a new light.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Latest happenings for Mark
In all your ways acknowledge the Lord, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6
The above verse reminds me that as I continue to focus on the Lord in all I do and rely on Him to help me through life, I can be rest assured he will make my path straight in front of me. I may not always know where the path is taking me or know what is the meaning of the scenery along the path until later, but God knows and will intend it for my own good.
At this point in my life, there is a lot going on. I am still looking for full-time employment with someone that embraces the uniqueness I bring in connecting and interacting with others via social media. What would I like to do? Well, I really do enjoy using social media tools to connect with people and help them whether that is in customer service, building relationships with customers or teaching them the ropes on social media. I could see myself in a variety of jobs as a community manager, social media consultant, or even in managing websites/content since I have experience in that area too.
While I continue to look for full-time employment, I am keeping myself quite busy in a few groups. One group was started in July with the intention of bringing together individuals and businesses in the Johnson County area and around Kansas City who wish to learn how to use social media tools/networking to connect and interact with their business or personal brand. The name of this group is the Kansas City Social Media Group. It was started in Johnson County, KS since a breakfast group focused on social media outside of the successful Internet Marketing and Social Media Meetup group was needed. Many members of the SMCKC group had expressed interest in a Johnson County SM group. We were approached by Houlihan's who graciously offered their Olathe location to host us and offered the entire restaurant for us to use on the morning of our breakfast. They also serve us a few wonderful items from their weekly Sunday brunch for breakfast on the day of our meeting. In fact, they have a great deal on their Sunday brunch for their social media friends that you can take advantage of during August. We have been very happy with the attendance at the first two KCSM breakfast meetings to date. We had 35 people show up at the July breakfast and around 75-80 people showed up at the August 12 breakfast! For now, we are only meeting for breakfast once a month at the Olathe Houlihan's with this group, but much more could be done with this group as time goes on. Tweetups, meetings outside of breakfast, etc. could happen. There is a planning committee consisting of myself, Shawn Gallagher, Chris Dowell and Marty Taggart that works together to plan and make the KCSM group meetings happen. I could not do it without all of their tremendous help and support.
Also, I was approached recently by Vicky Watson with the New Landings group to help them with their social media strategy as they continue to grow in membership. What is New Landings? At New Landings, their mission is to redefine the way their members view career transition by actively providing resources and new avenues to showcase their skills. They liberate individuals from the bounds of traditional thinking enabling them to create and engage with meaningful work. They are dedicated to the economic recovery of America's middle class. They have some awesome networking events coming up and weekly Wednesday night meetings with dynamic speakers focusing on career issues. They are also involved in a few outstanding programs coming up that will enable unemployed people take advantage of some opportunities to get involved in the workforce. What is very nice is that they list on their home page the number of "landings" or people who have landed jobs in the past year and month to date. They also show the economic contribution these new "landings" have brought to the economy as a result of them getting jobs. It goes to show that New Landings is dedicated to helping people who are unemployed and looking for their next career path. I will be co-leading the New Landings social media team with a few other New Landings members and I am very happy to lend my experience and knowledge to this group to help its members. A wonderful volunteer opportunity that I am looking forward to participate in.
Outside of these two groups, I have been spending time with my family and also taking time to think about how I can start writing more on this blog and my two other speciality blogs. Most people know I am a "chatterbox" on Twitter since I love to connect and interact with people on there, but I have also started to think how I should write more on my blogs to generate lasting content that others can read and refer to often. Twitter is great for quick tidbits to share with others and interaction, but once you tweet something, it is lost in time as more tweets come from you. Generating lasting content ensures people can take their time to read and digest what you share.
That is in a nutshell what has been going on for me lately. I plan to share more info about thoughts from my life on here as time goes on. Thanks for reading.
The above verse reminds me that as I continue to focus on the Lord in all I do and rely on Him to help me through life, I can be rest assured he will make my path straight in front of me. I may not always know where the path is taking me or know what is the meaning of the scenery along the path until later, but God knows and will intend it for my own good.
At this point in my life, there is a lot going on. I am still looking for full-time employment with someone that embraces the uniqueness I bring in connecting and interacting with others via social media. What would I like to do? Well, I really do enjoy using social media tools to connect with people and help them whether that is in customer service, building relationships with customers or teaching them the ropes on social media. I could see myself in a variety of jobs as a community manager, social media consultant, or even in managing websites/content since I have experience in that area too.
While I continue to look for full-time employment, I am keeping myself quite busy in a few groups. One group was started in July with the intention of bringing together individuals and businesses in the Johnson County area and around Kansas City who wish to learn how to use social media tools/networking to connect and interact with their business or personal brand. The name of this group is the Kansas City Social Media Group. It was started in Johnson County, KS since a breakfast group focused on social media outside of the successful Internet Marketing and Social Media Meetup group was needed. Many members of the SMCKC group had expressed interest in a Johnson County SM group. We were approached by Houlihan's who graciously offered their Olathe location to host us and offered the entire restaurant for us to use on the morning of our breakfast. They also serve us a few wonderful items from their weekly Sunday brunch for breakfast on the day of our meeting. In fact, they have a great deal on their Sunday brunch for their social media friends that you can take advantage of during August. We have been very happy with the attendance at the first two KCSM breakfast meetings to date. We had 35 people show up at the July breakfast and around 75-80 people showed up at the August 12 breakfast! For now, we are only meeting for breakfast once a month at the Olathe Houlihan's with this group, but much more could be done with this group as time goes on. Tweetups, meetings outside of breakfast, etc. could happen. There is a planning committee consisting of myself, Shawn Gallagher, Chris Dowell and Marty Taggart that works together to plan and make the KCSM group meetings happen. I could not do it without all of their tremendous help and support.
Also, I was approached recently by Vicky Watson with the New Landings group to help them with their social media strategy as they continue to grow in membership. What is New Landings? At New Landings, their mission is to redefine the way their members view career transition by actively providing resources and new avenues to showcase their skills. They liberate individuals from the bounds of traditional thinking enabling them to create and engage with meaningful work. They are dedicated to the economic recovery of America's middle class. They have some awesome networking events coming up and weekly Wednesday night meetings with dynamic speakers focusing on career issues. They are also involved in a few outstanding programs coming up that will enable unemployed people take advantage of some opportunities to get involved in the workforce. What is very nice is that they list on their home page the number of "landings" or people who have landed jobs in the past year and month to date. They also show the economic contribution these new "landings" have brought to the economy as a result of them getting jobs. It goes to show that New Landings is dedicated to helping people who are unemployed and looking for their next career path. I will be co-leading the New Landings social media team with a few other New Landings members and I am very happy to lend my experience and knowledge to this group to help its members. A wonderful volunteer opportunity that I am looking forward to participate in.
Outside of these two groups, I have been spending time with my family and also taking time to think about how I can start writing more on this blog and my two other speciality blogs. Most people know I am a "chatterbox" on Twitter since I love to connect and interact with people on there, but I have also started to think how I should write more on my blogs to generate lasting content that others can read and refer to often. Twitter is great for quick tidbits to share with others and interaction, but once you tweet something, it is lost in time as more tweets come from you. Generating lasting content ensures people can take their time to read and digest what you share.
That is in a nutshell what has been going on for me lately. I plan to share more info about thoughts from my life on here as time goes on. Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Sidewalk of Life
This is a copy of an article I found awhile ago and had been saving to read. Wanted to share it with you so you can read it and think upon it. Be encouraged.
Sometimes as you walk down the sidewalk of life you wind up in a deep hole that is not of your own making.
This is the nature of life. Some things are out of your control. Unexpected events happen. Change always occurs. The most that you can do is adapt to them the best you can. You must struggle out of the hole into which you were thrown and journey on. Hopefully, you grow from such an experience and become a more mature person who is better able to cope with other pitfalls of life.
Have you ever found yourself in exactly the same hole more than once?
Fall into the same hole often enough and you may come to a realization. With the frequent occurrence of the same or similar events you sense that these things do not happen by chance. Maybe this repetition is a pattern that is not just inflicted on you solely by others. Such a reoccurrence of events must mean that you are playing a role in creating them.
As we go along the sidewalk of life we all fall into holes of psychological and spiritual distress. Sometimes it seems that we were shoved. Initially, it appears that it is not our fault to be in such a situation once again. However, as we continue in the journey of life we often find ourselves falling into the same hole more than once. When we do so we are given the opportunity of recognizing that there is actually a pattern in our lives. Patterns do not exist until an event happens more than once. A pattern cannot be recognized until we have encountered a situation (in all its various forms) several times. Only with repetition is it possible to see the pattern or cycle. Once the pattern is seen then the possibility of new insight arises.
The next time you find yourself once again in one of life’s familiar holes, and are busy saying:
This is the trap of playing, "Let's fix you." Husbands and wives and parents and children often play this game. One spouse shows up at the counselor's office claiming that their mate is the problem. Parents bring in the child saying the child's behavior needs to change. Children say that their parents make them act this way. Employees blame the insensitive boss. The overworked boss criticizes the inefficient employees. No one is responsible for anything.
Playing "Let’s fix you" doesn’t work. Have you ever tried to change someone? Of course you have. Maybe just change a small child making them just a little more the way you want. Perhaps you have tried to make a few minor adjustments in another person’s personality. It seems that if you just gave this person a little bit of a "tune up" then you might be able to live with them. Did you succeed? The answer is, "No!" Changing others is an extremely difficult if not impossible task. The other person may actually try to cooperate but often cannot make or sustain the change. Your effort is directed in the wrong direction.
Fall into the same hole enough times and you might awaken to the true nature of the problem. You are responsible for being there. You played some role in the process. You must change. Learning this is good news. If you can find out what you are doing and stop then you can avoid these holes into which you keep falling. Having some responsibility for your problems means that you have control. All you have to do is to change yourself and the situation can improve. While this task is very hard, it is at least possible. Changing others is not.
If you change yourself your experience of the situation will change. Surprisingly, if you do this, the other people you were wanting to change may change as well. You cannot change others by directly trying to influence them, but if you change yourself then they may be forced to change as well. Once you are different and can maintain that difference then others around you are given the opportunity to change in relation to you. By effectively changing ourselves we may actually change another person, a group, and perhaps, the world. But we must start with ourselves. When you start with yourself a good place to begin is with your Attitude.
Once your responsibility is seen you can change. You can begin avoiding the holes on that street of life. You are now able to see what is coming, because you know your pattern. This knowledge gives you control and you can intentionally respond to life in a different manner. A different response gives new possibilities.
When someone invites you into a familiar hole, you do not automatically enter. Your friend, who has been awaiting your arrival to leave for a party, sarcastically says, "Well, you are late again!" Your typical response is to defensively say, "Must you always complain?" Now when you see that familiar hole of an argument and a bad evening looming, you make a different choice. You realize that your friend has had the legitimate frustration of waiting and has also been worried about you. You speak to these issues and say, "I am sorry to be late. Traffic was terrible. I couldn’t get to a phone. I know that you were wondering what happened to me." Your choice allows your friend to acknowledge the concern and apprehension rather that just voice the frustration of waiting. The hole of another repetitive fight is avoided, and the evening goes well.
Finally, you change streets. You change your inner dialogue and behavior so completely that the old pattern no longer occurs. Once on the new street, you must be careful because, unfortunately, this street will have its own holes. It will have holes that you have never seen before. But you now know the rules about the "holes" in the sidewalk. The first time that you encounter one you should ask, "How am I responsible?" It may be that you are not responsible, but the sooner you ask this question, the sooner you can take charge of your life.
This process is like a spiral that leads us upward towards psychological and spiritual wholeness. The sidewalks of life do not go in a straight line. They may not be flat. They may be like a trail that winds round and round a mountain until it reaches the top. Each time you break out of an old pattern of thinking and living, you begin a new switchback that leads you ever upwards to the fundamental goal of life.
Fall into enough of the holes in the sidewalks of life and you may become whole. Through the lessons of the holes of life, you approach wholeness. Becoming whole means striving to be all that you can be. All potentialities are explored. You know what you do, and why you do it. Choices are made, and you are responsible for these choices.
The holes in the sidewalk are actually invitations to grow.
Are you open to the invitation?
Sometimes as you walk down the sidewalk of life you wind up in a deep hole that is not of your own making.
- If you live on the coast during hurricane season the winds and rains may have come along and damaged your house.
- The company you work for may have gone bankrupt you lost your job.
- You return to your car in the mall parking lot and find that someone has smashed your fender.
This is the nature of life. Some things are out of your control. Unexpected events happen. Change always occurs. The most that you can do is adapt to them the best you can. You must struggle out of the hole into which you were thrown and journey on. Hopefully, you grow from such an experience and become a more mature person who is better able to cope with other pitfalls of life.
Have you ever found yourself in exactly the same hole more than once?
- How is it that you always get into the same type of conflict with the boss? He is so negative and critical and always expects so much. She makes you feel miserable.
- Maybe you are in the midst of the exact "word for word" argument with your spouse for the ten thousandth time. He says this and you say that just like you always do and you fall into the hole once again.
- Your son, mother, sister, or brother does that thing that they always do. It pushes your buttons and you respond as you always do. The cycle of conflict begins once again.
Fall into the same hole often enough and you may come to a realization. With the frequent occurrence of the same or similar events you sense that these things do not happen by chance. Maybe this repetition is a pattern that is not just inflicted on you solely by others. Such a reoccurrence of events must mean that you are playing a role in creating them.
As we go along the sidewalk of life we all fall into holes of psychological and spiritual distress. Sometimes it seems that we were shoved. Initially, it appears that it is not our fault to be in such a situation once again. However, as we continue in the journey of life we often find ourselves falling into the same hole more than once. When we do so we are given the opportunity of recognizing that there is actually a pattern in our lives. Patterns do not exist until an event happens more than once. A pattern cannot be recognized until we have encountered a situation (in all its various forms) several times. Only with repetition is it possible to see the pattern or cycle. Once the pattern is seen then the possibility of new insight arises.
The next time you find yourself once again in one of life’s familiar holes, and are busy saying:
- "It is not my fault,"
- "Don't blame me."
- "Who is responsible for this?"
- "They are doing it to me again."
This is the trap of playing, "Let's fix you." Husbands and wives and parents and children often play this game. One spouse shows up at the counselor's office claiming that their mate is the problem. Parents bring in the child saying the child's behavior needs to change. Children say that their parents make them act this way. Employees blame the insensitive boss. The overworked boss criticizes the inefficient employees. No one is responsible for anything.
Playing "Let’s fix you" doesn’t work. Have you ever tried to change someone? Of course you have. Maybe just change a small child making them just a little more the way you want. Perhaps you have tried to make a few minor adjustments in another person’s personality. It seems that if you just gave this person a little bit of a "tune up" then you might be able to live with them. Did you succeed? The answer is, "No!" Changing others is an extremely difficult if not impossible task. The other person may actually try to cooperate but often cannot make or sustain the change. Your effort is directed in the wrong direction.
Fall into the same hole enough times and you might awaken to the true nature of the problem. You are responsible for being there. You played some role in the process. You must change. Learning this is good news. If you can find out what you are doing and stop then you can avoid these holes into which you keep falling. Having some responsibility for your problems means that you have control. All you have to do is to change yourself and the situation can improve. While this task is very hard, it is at least possible. Changing others is not.
- When you find yourself once again in that same bad relationship, but with a different person, you need to realize that it is you who is making the same mistake over and over. Maybe it is time to ask yourself, "What am I doing?" "How did I get here once again?"
- When you are in that same tired old argument, ask what did you do to get there? When you wake up with a hangover once again, ask what went wrong with my resolve to never drink again?
If you change yourself your experience of the situation will change. Surprisingly, if you do this, the other people you were wanting to change may change as well. You cannot change others by directly trying to influence them, but if you change yourself then they may be forced to change as well. Once you are different and can maintain that difference then others around you are given the opportunity to change in relation to you. By effectively changing ourselves we may actually change another person, a group, and perhaps, the world. But we must start with ourselves. When you start with yourself a good place to begin is with your Attitude.
Once your responsibility is seen you can change. You can begin avoiding the holes on that street of life. You are now able to see what is coming, because you know your pattern. This knowledge gives you control and you can intentionally respond to life in a different manner. A different response gives new possibilities.
When someone invites you into a familiar hole, you do not automatically enter. Your friend, who has been awaiting your arrival to leave for a party, sarcastically says, "Well, you are late again!" Your typical response is to defensively say, "Must you always complain?" Now when you see that familiar hole of an argument and a bad evening looming, you make a different choice. You realize that your friend has had the legitimate frustration of waiting and has also been worried about you. You speak to these issues and say, "I am sorry to be late. Traffic was terrible. I couldn’t get to a phone. I know that you were wondering what happened to me." Your choice allows your friend to acknowledge the concern and apprehension rather that just voice the frustration of waiting. The hole of another repetitive fight is avoided, and the evening goes well.
Finally, you change streets. You change your inner dialogue and behavior so completely that the old pattern no longer occurs. Once on the new street, you must be careful because, unfortunately, this street will have its own holes. It will have holes that you have never seen before. But you now know the rules about the "holes" in the sidewalk. The first time that you encounter one you should ask, "How am I responsible?" It may be that you are not responsible, but the sooner you ask this question, the sooner you can take charge of your life.
This process is like a spiral that leads us upward towards psychological and spiritual wholeness. The sidewalks of life do not go in a straight line. They may not be flat. They may be like a trail that winds round and round a mountain until it reaches the top. Each time you break out of an old pattern of thinking and living, you begin a new switchback that leads you ever upwards to the fundamental goal of life.
Fall into enough of the holes in the sidewalks of life and you may become whole. Through the lessons of the holes of life, you approach wholeness. Becoming whole means striving to be all that you can be. All potentialities are explored. You know what you do, and why you do it. Choices are made, and you are responsible for these choices.
The holes in the sidewalk are actually invitations to grow.
Are you open to the invitation?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Strive for Integrity, Not Popularity in Social Media
This post came about as I was talking to someone recently about people I have noticed who have been rallying others to follow them and their "club" in order to be part of the cool in-group. This post was also inspired by a few that I know of who continue to bash others online in an effort to raise their ego to a higher level so they will be welcomed into in-groups that encourage such behavior. I am all for social media and the wonderful ways it can be used to connect so many people that would never have had the chance to meet offline, but there are also times when the tools of social media can be used in ruthless manners. Everyone has the right to use the tools the way they wish, but I have seen way too many cases where Twitter, blogs, Facebook, etc. can be used as weapons intended to ruin someone's reputation or spread false rumors. This is wrong, people! People can make too many assumptions about others without knowing the real facts. This is even more so the case when they have never met a person they may make assumptions about. This is a real problem in today's society as social media continues to grow. I have already talked about cyber-bullying, but there are also cases where social media is used in a way to stroke the ego of some who use it to boast about their accomplishments and how everyone else is beneath them.
It is true that in today's world, "the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths." (2 Timothy 4:3,4)
Integrity is a trait that is missing in today's use of social media in many cases. Too often, people can hide behind an online profile and talk about how great they are or how others should follow them because everyone else is falling for the same scheme. If you don't follow these "behind the curtain" manipulators, then you are considered an outsider or dismissed as not being part of the in-crowd. And in some extreme cases, if you don't do what some of these "behind the curtain" people want you to do, then they may resort to intimidation tactics or attempts to smear your reputation among their seduced followers. Matthew 7:15,16 speaks truth where it says: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits."
How does one ensure they are not led to believe in some people who use social media in a way to create a false sense of reality? How can you protect yourself? Here are a few tips:
1) Don't believe everything that one may share online about others. Never take someone's words to be the whole truth. Check with others to understand if this is truth being spoken or just assumptions not based on facts. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says: "Test everything; hold fast what is good."
2) Understand that there are some who like to share things about others just so they can raise their ego to the same level as the false prophets in this world. Some will say things just to get others stirred up since they thrive on conflict and useless banter.
As I shared earlier, I am all for the tools of social media to be used for good in building relationships and connecting with others online. The sharing of information via social media tools is unbelievable in how it can enable so many to learn from one another. That is where the usefulness of social media comes into play. What I do speak out against though is where social media can be used as weapons of destruction and to mess with people's lives spreading false rumors. Those who practice such tactics should not even be allowed to be representatives of organizations that share how to use social media in a good manner as they are in reality two-faced about how they use the tools. It is time to speak up against such negative uses of social media and call out those who use social media in such deceitful manners.
Ted Engstrom writes: “The world needs people who cannot be bought; whose word is their bond; who put character above wealth; who possess opinions and a will; who are larger than their vocations; who don’t hesitate to take chances; who won’t lose their individuality in a crowd; who will be as honest in small things as they are in great things; who will make no compromise with wrong; whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires; who will not say they do it ‘because everybody else does it;’ who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity; who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hard-heartedness are the best qualities for winning success; who are not afraid to stand for the truth even when it’s unpopular; who say ‘no’ with emphasis, even though the rest of the world says ‘yes.’”
Stand for integrity. Don't ever waver from this principle.
It is true that in today's world, "the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths." (2 Timothy 4:3,4)
Integrity is a trait that is missing in today's use of social media in many cases. Too often, people can hide behind an online profile and talk about how great they are or how others should follow them because everyone else is falling for the same scheme. If you don't follow these "behind the curtain" manipulators, then you are considered an outsider or dismissed as not being part of the in-crowd. And in some extreme cases, if you don't do what some of these "behind the curtain" people want you to do, then they may resort to intimidation tactics or attempts to smear your reputation among their seduced followers. Matthew 7:15,16 speaks truth where it says: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits."
How does one ensure they are not led to believe in some people who use social media in a way to create a false sense of reality? How can you protect yourself? Here are a few tips:
1) Don't believe everything that one may share online about others. Never take someone's words to be the whole truth. Check with others to understand if this is truth being spoken or just assumptions not based on facts. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says: "Test everything; hold fast what is good."
2) Understand that there are some who like to share things about others just so they can raise their ego to the same level as the false prophets in this world. Some will say things just to get others stirred up since they thrive on conflict and useless banter.
As I shared earlier, I am all for the tools of social media to be used for good in building relationships and connecting with others online. The sharing of information via social media tools is unbelievable in how it can enable so many to learn from one another. That is where the usefulness of social media comes into play. What I do speak out against though is where social media can be used as weapons of destruction and to mess with people's lives spreading false rumors. Those who practice such tactics should not even be allowed to be representatives of organizations that share how to use social media in a good manner as they are in reality two-faced about how they use the tools. It is time to speak up against such negative uses of social media and call out those who use social media in such deceitful manners.
Ted Engstrom writes: “The world needs people who cannot be bought; whose word is their bond; who put character above wealth; who possess opinions and a will; who are larger than their vocations; who don’t hesitate to take chances; who won’t lose their individuality in a crowd; who will be as honest in small things as they are in great things; who will make no compromise with wrong; whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires; who will not say they do it ‘because everybody else does it;’ who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity; who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hard-heartedness are the best qualities for winning success; who are not afraid to stand for the truth even when it’s unpopular; who say ‘no’ with emphasis, even though the rest of the world says ‘yes.’”
Stand for integrity. Don't ever waver from this principle.
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