Take a Look at Your Life "Inside Out"

I took some time yesterday afternoon to take notes and go through a book I got awhile ago called "Inside Out" by Larry Crab. I will probably have a few posts tied to this book and the notes I took. Inside Out talks about how real change is possible only when you face the realities of your internal life and let God mold you into a person who is free to be honest, courageous, and loving. There are some parts of this book where as I read it, I thought to myself, that is similar to how people use social media tools. So, I will mention a few things related to social media in the posts tied to this book.

The book starts off by mentioning "most of us make it through life by coping, not changing. We rearrange what we do, but the core problems involving who we are remain only partially addressed."

Picture an iceberg on the water and how this iceberg represents you. The visible part above the waterline represents things you do, thoughts you think, and feelings you sense. Tying this to how we use social media, the visible part that people see are the tweets we send out via Twitter, the status updates we put on Facebook, or the posts we share on our blog. What we write and share with our followers/friends can be perceived in so many ways. Many times, we can easily take a tweet or status update out of context without really knowing for sure what the person meant. There is the danger of misunderstandings based on what people share online.

Back to the mental image of the iceberg, the mass below the waterline is the part that cannot be clearly seen by others. This part represents motives/attitudes of your heart, the painful memories and raging emotions you prefer to keep hidden out of view. It is here where our motives and emotions lie tied to things we send out via social media tools like Twitter or Facebook. There could be something bad we are experiencing in our life or we are dealing with a loss that can influence how and what we share online. I know there are times when I have had struggles whether that is via a lost friendship with someone or butting heads with someone on Twitter based off my beliefs on something where it helped me to tweet Scripture verses that were related to what I was going through. I have received flak for doing this at times by some, but sharing things related to my faith as a Christian is part of my identity and it helps others who may be going through similar struggles in their life.

When we take time to do an "inside look" at ourselves, we uncover thirst or deep longings for what we do not have. There are three kinds of longings. The first is basic desires that must be met if life is to be worth living. This is a crucial longing. The only way this longing can be met is through knowing God in your life. God is the only one who can fulfill this longing. No human being can do it. The second is important desires for quality relationships that add to the enjoyment of living. This is a critical longing and it can be met through a relationship with someone. Someone who loves and respects you like your spouse, friends who are there for you, etc. make up the type of relationships that meet a critical longing. The third is every other desire we experience from the trivial (I hope this restaurant is a good one) to the significant (I hope the tests that come back are negative). This is a casual longing. These longings do not involve what can be supplied only through another person's giving of himself.

What are the consequences of unsatisfied longings? If a casual longing is not satisfied, we experience manageable discomfort. Nothing external to my existence as a person is threatened if this longing is not met. If a critical longing is not satisfied, we can experience immobilizing lostness. We may feel empty and feel like no one cares about us or what we do seems unimportant. This can be via a lost relationship/friendship. Sometimes in social media, we may be unfollowed or "defriended" by someone and feel upset or sad about what happened. Especially in today's world where the number of followers or friends one has in Twitter or Facebook are celebrated or paid attention to by many. It seems at times that those who have thousands of followers are put up on a pedestal and their identity online can be attached to how many people are following them. This is a scary place to be since we are much more than the number of people who follow us online via Twitter or Facebook. That is why we need to make sure our identity we shape in life is not always tied to the popularity we may receive from others based on the quantity of people who are connected to us. The consequences of a crucial longing not being satisfied can lead to pain that must be dealt with. It can feel like we are at the beginning of hell in this situation. Again, the only one who can fulfill this longing is God. We must turn to Him during those times when we feel like the whole world is crashing in on us. He wants to hear our cries of help and embrace us to bring us comfort. If we fail to yield to God and his love for us, depression can occur and threaten to take over our life.

The interesting thing is that we spend most of our days concerned with satisfaction of our least important longings. We arrange for our own comfort.

In the next post, I will go into two different paths that we typically take based on how we feel our longings should be met and which longing is most important for us to fulfill.