Are You Playing for the Crowd? DON'T!

Today, we are consumed by information that comes at us fast and furious with no breaks. For those who have smartphones, constantly checking to see the latest tweet or who has sent you a reply or DM can be a never-ending cycle. One big reason why I do not own a smartphone is because I know very well I would run the real danger of always checking it to see what was the latest chatter from those I follow on Twitter or Facebook. It is bad enough for me to not take a peek during the day when I should be focused on other more important things. There are going to be some who read this post who will say just turn it off, Mark. Let it be known that is easier said than done for some people. What may work for you may not work as well for others. Most of the time, each of us have to find that equal balance through trial and error. And sometimes, it is a constant battle to keep that balance. For those who struggle with OCD or AHDD, using social media tools like Twitter can be very distracting as those who struggle with one of these disorders tends to always be looking for the next hit, whether that is a tweet, Facebook post, etc.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? It is for several reasons. One, since I revived this blog, I decided I wanted to be upfront with you on the challenges I face as I deal with it day by day on how to find that balance using social media and staying off it. Face it, it is the truth that so many of us are so ingrained with our smartphones, laptops, etc. that what we do in conversing with others via tweets, posts, etc., is common nature. It has become a part of our identity. And to be honest, that can be a not so good place to be. When we start "playing to the crowd," and paying attention to what "followers" have to say about who we are or what we should do online, we lose. Sure, construction criticism can be helpful in some cases, but in my viewpoint, if you really do want to help someone online, take it offline and talk to them privately. I have seen enough cases where people are publicly shamed online and those who shovel out this type of garbage think they have the right to do it. Most of the time, those who do this to others have their own problems they are dealing with and instead of working on them, they decide to lash out to others so they can feel empowered. I have a message for those type of people who in the past may have made me feel "small" or decided smearing my name made them feel pretty proud of themselves. The message is ENOUGH! I read a post today by Julien Smith that I won't link to from here since it does have the F word used throughout his post, but besides the profanity, he was dead on! Basically, he decided he has had enough of others trying to tell him how to live his life and for him falling prey to the whims of others and their approval. He spoke out publicly about it and decided enough is enough.

So, you may be thinking to yourself, "Mark, just let this go and drop it." I will let you in on a little secret. I struggle with OCD and it makes it very tough to just drop things that happen to you and move on. I will be honest in saying that one year later, after the stupid crap that happened to me in 2010, I am much further on the road to healing than I used to be. There are still some people who find it "fun" to throw grenades my way to try and get me wound up, but with time, I have learned how to deal with such morons. To be honest, they can't touch me or my soul. Just like a song I love to listen to by Disciple called "1, 2 Conductor" it speaks about those who feel like they have to play for the crowd like a puppet. For those who follow Christ, the only audience we need to worry about is Jesus himself. He accepts us no matter where we are. As it says in Matthew 16:26, "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" Many people play to the crowd around them through clubs they are a part of, celebrities they try to rub shoulders with, or by doing what they can to get on a pedestal to be recognized for worldly rewards. Sure, it may feel great for awhile to be adorned and praised by people around us, especially if you are part of the "in crowd."

Let me be honest right here...I have been part of some groups in the past where I felt included and then thrown to the side when crap hit the fan. I learned the hard way who was along the side of me no matter what happened and who was there when things were good and rosy and dropped me like a castaway when things got bad. Was I hurt and rejected when such things happened or when some just completely stopped talking to me? You bet I was! And honestly, I let that rejection affect me for quite a long time. I felt like I did not contribute any value because of some who felt I was not worth it. I have a message for those: You may throw your stones at me all you want, but they do not and will not affect me anymore. I am a child of Christ and it is through Him who I get my strength. As Disciple shares so lovingly in the 1, 2 Conductor song, "I don't give a rat's end what they say as long as my God is happy!"

Twitter has been a real struggle for me. To be quite honest, I see more cons to the experiences I have had through it than pros. Some of the pros of it are connecting to people who really do care and ask how you are doing. People like Amy Kiel, Ryan Conrad, Ben Smith, Jeremy Brooks, Paul Berry, Lance Strickland, @queentuffy, Tony Faustino, Jenn Bailey, Ryan Nelson, Nate Heavilin, Sara Nelson and many others. I still talk with and connect with a few from the Social Media Club of Kansas City, but I also have moved on from that chapter in my life with time. Truthfully, I have found more community and more openness via 33 Church than any other clubs or groups I have been a part of in the past. I would rather serve along those who truly value you as a person and take time to reach out and ask you how you are then being part of a "cool" group where everyone strives to be one of the top known experts or leaders. I have always been one to go against the flow or the status quo and that suits me just fine. In God's kingdom, there is no one person who stands above the rest. Each person is a valued member who makes a significant contribution via God working through them.

The main point I want to get across is that you need to do everything you can to not be sucked into the flow of what the world wants you to do or how you should perform. That can be done so easily via social media as anyone can say what is on their mind with no boundaries and to anyone they wish to direct it to. Cyberbullying is real and it is only increasing in intensity as kids growing up with technology in today's world are the target of many who don't have the guts to confront someone but hides behind a computer to send out nasty notes. It is not only a problem for kids, but also for some adults who become unlucky targets and if you are one who struggles with OCD or AHDD, just forgetting what others say about or towards you can be devastating.

How can you break away from the cries of the world towards you who want you to join them in the churning rapids of tweets, posts, check-ins, etc.? Take breaks and do them often. This is one area I am slowly improving on as I take more frequent breaks in checking Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, etc. It is a ongoing process. If being on a social media channel like Twitter has become a major part of what you do on a daily basis, it will take time to break away from it and focus on those who truly matter in your life or those things that make the most impact. I love the outdoors and whenever I can, I try to head for a nearby park to get out and hike a trail. Be alone with my own thoughts. I think one of the big reasons why I favor going on vacation to off beaten places where one can stay in a cabin and hike trails is because I savor the peace and quiet with such times. Away from cellphone signals, away from computers, and away from the busyness of the world trying to pull me back in to the noise.

I want to start focusing on more things where I know I can make an eternal impact. The fact is that all of the awards, praise, recognition, popularity, etc. will only get you so far. Every one of those things will be gone in an instant someday when we pass on. BUT, if you impacted someone for eternity, that will be a far greater reward that you will be blessed with. There is enough people out there who share the latest articles or news updates about social media this, social media that, and social media where.

That is what I want to start moving away from and moving towards sharing stories that make an eternal impact. Heck, if you need prayers for something, DM me or shoot me an e-mail. I feel I can be a much more useful tool in God's hands if I share the Good News about him and what he has done in my life and others.

In the next few days, I will write about a very personal situation that came into my life 5 years ago where I saw a true miracle when the surrounding crowd who did not believe tried to convince my family that it was time to listen to them. But, we did not. It was by God's grace an amazing miracle was to come.

I leave you with this video. Make a difference in your world.

Just Keep Going, You Got Nothing to Lose: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0oHlX8Kmxk